Am beginning to hate my Au-pair

not having one when you want one is probably all that most of us can afford....?

Not having one when you want one is not a very construction solution.

But I agree with you that short term is best, but this probably is only practical if, like me, are a SAHM, and simply want an AP rather than need one. I am going to work around school terms from now on, so you have the changeover during the holidays.

Scrap all irons, I say! down with linen and hooray for lycra!!

what to do when faced with a grumpy au pair ?? hmmm...
i think that ultimately, as I mentioned before, the only way to ensure fresh-faced willing + smiling au pairs is not to keep them on for too long - I know from my own experience as an au pair that after 6 months the job, being so menial and such a drudge, can become a huge bore, esp if you're v. young and have other interests in life than housework
or....not have one at all?

PS: ironing isn't a bad job to do - it's an everyday job, unlike say heavy, spring cleaning. It's fair game to ask an au pair to do at least the children's ironing if she has the time in her 25 hours per week.

Au pairs and paid pocket money and room & board, which if added together is approaching £200 a week in value. It's only right that they should do some "work" for this money.

Wiggle, I don't get my au pair to do ironing because she has enough other things she does to help me. If I switched to an au pair plus, that would be the extra work in the extra hours.

While I don't actually mind the task of ironing, I would freely admit that it's a huge task and I never get to the bottom of my ironing basket (s).

But that's life in a family of 7. I don't want to spend more than an hour or two per week ironing - I have other more interesting things to do with my time. You know, luncheons and stuff.

I agree with Teeavee about the ironing. I am struggling to understand other people's ironing need!!. I understand that big families hava lot more ironing than I do.. Shirts, some work clothes I understand, depending on the type of work that people do. will i really need to iron my dd school clothes when the time comes? I even actively try to avoid wearing shirts for work so I do not have to iron them!!!

My guess is that if the AP does it for you, you will find a lot more items would need ironing then before: bedding, towels, underwear, sheets, kids everyday wear, the lot. sorry for generalising here.

Surely there is not need to iron all that other than it feels/look nice on bed/cupboard! If I was an AP would get annoyed to be asked to do all this ironing for the household. on other hand if i was paid by the item or by weight like I am reading in this other thread going at the moment about people using ironing services, and ironing was my business, all this ironing would be welcome.

So what do you suggest when faced with a grumpy au pair, TV?

If you have the cash, you can do what you want - but I think it's just as important to consider the cultural and personal relationships as well - employing someone, esp. if they are going to be living with you, does not just boil down to cash for services rendered, does it? Hence the difficulties that arise!

ive never had an aupair, but have had loads of ap do cleaning for me. and the fact is, that if you dont click with someone, then why should you have to pay them to do something.
totally agree with ameriscot.

It's just that it is easier on the family than on the perosn who has upped sticks from a distant country to become a live-in helper.
The onus whould be on both sides to try and 'click', surely, but I sometimes wonder how some of us would cope if the situation was reversed - i.e. working and living with a Polish family, for example?

It is not an ideal mix, by any means. Like someone else said, it might me cheap, but a lot of compromises are required on both sides for it to work smoothly.

Why do we have to justify how we spend our money? If we choose to spend money on domestic help, why is that a problem? Surely it's good for the community to employ others rather than hoard money in the bank or squander it on multiple exotic holidays a year.

You might think it's disrespectful but it is true.

Supply of au pairs is no reason to put up with someone that doesn't click with your family.

i have been an au pair myself, for 10 (long)months in France during gap year.
I was looking after 4 kidsaged 3, 7, 9 and 11, and I myself was only 18 at the time. Didn't speak the lingo when I arrived, and was VERY homesick sometimes, but stuck it out.

Having read through this thread, I would like to add 2 or 3 comments:

1. I was rather appalled at the 'plenty more where she came from' comment - how disrespectful.
2. Who needs to employ someone to remove creases from fabric?! It's madness, isn't it? When I was an au pair, I iwas made to iron so much - even their underwear! that I vowed never to take such a boring task seriously ever again. as a 32 year old mother, I NEVER iron anything.
3. i would agree with the notion that an au pair's natural 'shelf-life' is 3-6 months. For me, certainly, the sheer mundanity of the work combined with homesickness and the difficulty of coping with 4 children (who were not mine!) was driving me up the wall.

Nowadays I always tell anyone who is considering becoming an au pair that it is ONLY worth doing if you cannot afford any other way of spending time in the other country to learn the language/cuture. It is hard, and having your own bedroom/bathroom does not make you any less homesick and fed up sometimes, unfortunately.
The family I worked for were nice, and had never had an au pair before, so I was lucky compared to some of my au pairing friends at the time, but it was still tough.

Wigglewiggle - The joys of MN!! It includes each end of the scale. I too find it fascinating. In saying that, I am thinking about getting a cleaner... and I'm not rich, just busy with work.

I am always fascinated by the life of the well offs, houses so big that cannot be cleaned by just the family. En suite bathrooms, holidays in big apartments and being able to pay APs phone bills etc etc

and all this ironing that you need help with.... I only iron a few things, like a shirt i need to wear for work. everything else comes out fairly smooth from the dryer, smooth out hte few creases with your hand, fold and voila.

another planet from me.

I must get back to that shagging thread for proper amusement.

Oh right

The au pairs have their own seperate rooms each with an ensuite bathroom at home. The babies also have their own rooms so all have their own rooms!

At holiday we choose places where we can have a suite/adjoining rooms/or an extra room where we can be all together but a door in between.

By the way one of the girls is a midwife and has great knowledge of infant/toddler care.

As for the "advert" I have no connection to the agency- I have just had good and promt service from them so far...

I just had to log on to that website Beetroot because I thought that thread was taking the p* out of this thread and what AP's should and shouldnt do.

The penny suddenly has suddenly dropped!!

Think I am too involved with hilarious thread about shagging AP being caught out!!

Beety, yes, you're right. Dopey me.
Agree, good advert!

It doesn't sound like they have much privacy - sharing a room? And having the babies in with them? Was that right?