Au Pairs - maybe something useful for someone thinking of employing their first Au Pair...

Think this would be agreat thread to get ungrateful au-pairs who think they are being hard done by for being asked to do their 25 hours pw to read.

are you the natasha walter? what is the thesis for your article?

forevermore... have you heard about the new childcare voucher scheme? I don't know exactly how it works, but basically the government will pay up to 70% of a nanny's pay. The nanny has to be registered (I'm currently in the process of registering, have to have a police check, valid 1st aid certificate and some sort of qualification) so that some of my wages will be through this scheme. I'm sure that if my surgeon bosses qualify for this, it would be worth at least having a look into. I could ask my bosses where they got their info, if you like. Hope I haven't got any of my info wrong, but I don't think so!

Henelele -
I'm a journalist and I'd love to talk to you about your experiences as an au pair - I'm writing an article for a broadsheet newspaper and I'm very interested in the sort of issues you've raised on this thread. Could you send me an email (to [email protected]) or a private message through this board? I look forward to hearing from you! Natasha

Sounds awful, Henelele.

We are not naturally tidy, but having an au pair makes us make the effort! Left to our own devices, I'd deal with the dinner dishes in the morning - yuk, I know - but having the au pair means that I make sure the dishwasher is on at night.

I don't expect my au pair to do a lot of tidying - she should just be able to clean or hoover already clear surfaces. When things work out to plan, the au pair only has about and hour of cleaning per day - we live in quite a big five-bedroom house. I don't think that is too bad.

I know that the messing capacity of my children really got my first au pair down. She'd never re-do anything the same day, but it was demoralising for her work to be trashed so quickly (same for me, LOL). But she made a rod for her own back by insisting that things like mopping the kitchen and other hard floors were done every day, even though I told her twice a week was fine. She was horrified by that concept.

Cleaning after or with children is ok, I didn't mind doing that. But cleaning after parents - that made me angry. Dirty coffe mugs, clothes, shoes everywhere and they didn't really cared. Father was a smoker and he used to leave sigarettes and lighters laying around, so irresponsible, I still can't believe it!!

I know how you felt, MrsWood.
I decided to clean once as well like this, family was on holiday and I stayed at home. I also felt bit quilty because they still payed me for this week and that's why I decided to do something around the house.
Cleaning the kitchen took already one full day... And it was a big house, I can't remember how many days it took to make it sparkle.
Anyway, the family came back and they didn't notice anything! Next day one of their friends came over and was surprised how clean the house was and then the mother said: 'oh yes, I thought something was different here.'
And of course, couple of days later everything was messy and dirty again... I never felt so sad and angry and disappointed in my life.

I understand that there are lot of families with bad au pair experience but there are so many au pairs who are treatened very badly by families.
I came to UK to live in the family as an au pair. In the beginning everything was perfect, really fun mother, sweet children (1y and 6y). Mother was working from home, so she helped me with children and often we went out all together (to the parks, seaside).
But things started to change soon. I supposed to work 25 hours a week but about 3-4 months later it had increased slowly to 10 hours a day (I did all the housework, the mother never hoovered or ironed after I got there) plus Saturday morning (parents just wanted to sleep in). I still got same amount of pocket money- £60.
And if I wanted to go and se my friends in the weekends, I wasn't allowed to go every time I asked. In case the might need me (most of those times they didn't, so I ended up just sitting in my room and doing nothing).
And after 8 months being there I discovered that I wasn't allowed to go out in weekday evenings as well (just to see my friends, I never wanted to go out for clubbing or drinking). The same reason- THEY might want to go out in the evening. They rarely did.
This was the final point when I just couldn't take it anymore and gave my notice. I felt like being in the prison, I wasn't allowed to any personal life. It was sad to leave because I really liked the children, especially the toddler. And the mother was nice person, she just didn't know that au pair supposed to HELP you, not to do all childminding and all housework.

I think child care is a very 'personal choice' as all parent require different types of childcare to what suits them best, and what they can afford.

I totally agree, right or wrong, its parents choice who looks after their children.

I was very friendly with an au pair from Slovakia, we got on great, she and a couple of friends (also au pairs) even came out for one of my birthdays.
She worked in the house next door to where i was nannying at the time and she came into where i worked a couple of times a week to clean as she wanted extra ££££.
she was fed up to the back teeth of working all the hours and not having enough money to go out or do anything much.
She even asked me how she could get into doing a childcare course to get a recognised qualification so she could get out there and earn a proper wage.
She haded working for pittance and doing so much, she was exhausted.

My secret's out, you wise old owl!

I'm paying £70 for 25 hours + 2 nights babysitting (in reality it is only one night's babysitting on average).

I don't see why the au pair shouldn't work the full 25 hours. If there's very little childcare because the children are at school, what's wrong with having them clean/iron/whatever for the other hours? As long as the actual tasks are "everyday" tasks (not spring cleaning-type), that's what they are paid to do.

Many girls who come as au pairs need to learn a work ethic and what is expected of them - timeliness, etc. For very traditional au pairs (late teens), their au pair year is a very valuable growing up time, where they learn how to conduct themselves in the adult world.

Penny, it is a parents decision with whom they want to leave their children, no matter what age the child/carer.

I wouldn't leave a baby with an inexperienced young stranger all day. But, if they did, that is their choice.

Ameriscot, go on confess about your cellar where you lock up the au pairs and only let them out on a ball and chain to scrub your toilets with a toothbrush. Oh and tell them about the electric fence you have, just in case they try to escape.

The only aupair I actually met was one who worked opposite to one of my jobs. She was from Slovakia I believe and was a lovely person, she had some babysitting expierence before she came but was left with 3 children of 5, 3 and 6 months, she did the housework on the saturday when the parents were home, but that meant she worked 6 days a week. She said she didn't mind as they were nice to her which I'm sure they were but still, she hardly had any life of her own. I didn't dare ask her how much she got payed.
But credit were credit is due, she was great with the children. But still should not have been left with the baby imo.

No one is forcing these "exploited" au pairs to stay. While you may view them as slaves, do you really think they are prisoners as well?

Pennylane, I just ran the sums according to the nanytax calculator (on nannytax.co.uk) and figuring 40% tax for your employer. And, in order to pay you £270 net per week, you employer must go to work to earn roughly £35,000 per year. That's a lot of money! This does figure that your car and phone cast another £1200 or so per annum.

The more money and benefits that nanny's demand the fewer there will be who can actually find employers who can afford them. And then there will be even more of you in the market, and then supply further outweighs demand. I think we can all see where this is going?

The truth is a lot of people who hire nannies can not afford your prices. Simple as that. So, of course if someone else comes along and says "hey I can do that for less" then of course they are going to be hired, and people like you who have become dependant on these higher rates are going to find themselves out of work or forced to reduce the rate.

If I were you, I'd start petitioning the government to reduce parents tax liabilities so that some more people can afford nannies, and possibly save your industry.

I actually didn't come to a decission before i came here, it was reading this thread that had me so shocked I had to post. And also looking at au pair adverts on gumtree and what people were requesting.

Yes i agree Ameriscot.

It seem pennylane you made you decision long before you read this thread, as many points made are taken out of context...I can only guess by your comments you assume Au Pairs, are exploited?, i'm sure that some are, alondside many other workers in this country.

IMO £60 plus cell phone, use of a car if needed, college fees paid, usually for a young inexperienced girl that requires lots and lots of guidance and supervision, and is by no means a 'substitute nanny 'is fair. This is for doing the school run, light housework, family ironing, ocassional babysitting, and looking after two school children between 3.30 - 5.30 twice a week... hardley exploitation!!! who mentioned anything about cleaning the whole house? Even if an AP did clean the whole house ( within the 25hr a week duties) can't descibe that 'doing my job' or 'running the house' or even hard done by. I think its fair game for AP to do these sort of duties if it was all agreed before hand, or what else would they do for 25 hours a week?

As for the food issues, i think I need to clarify one or two things. I was spending an Extra £45 a week extra on the food bill for our 1st AP ( not £10). But like a fool I did it, i was more concern with keeping AP happy. Every friday she would produce a shopping list of ready meals and cereals, or use up all cooking ingredients or sometimes snack on smoke salmon, or eat the kids chocolate in the evening, I would say that is inconsiderate, selfish and picky( I think Americscot knows what I mean)

Yes i do insist our current AP eats with the family early evening ( at weekends its left in the fridge to reheat if she out on the razz) IMO its not unreasonable, she is very happy to do this, i would never make meals she doesn't like and yes she does have an input..yes she can help herself to snacks for the fridge - same as myself and DH, and anything else she can buy it herself. I don't think its 'disgusting' I call it integrating with the family ( just what being an AP is about) I think it better to be clear, upfront and tackful about these things beforehand, to avoid resentment and confrontations later on.

Anyway we like our AP and treat her with nothing but respect. I think she would have cleared off ages ago, or her family would of dragged her back to Poland, after they came to stay, if we were that bad!!

As for parents moaning, I thought thats what Mumsnet is for... I am sure AP have their own slant on the subject or a similar forum somewhere for good old moan?

As for nannies from hell its just another ...from hell T.V show like builders, hoildays, families and grannies from hell( crap T.V)