AP time off

Muffin, I think you are in a stronger position than you realise. Your host Mum would struggle to find a new "AP" who does all that you do, for the money she gives you. Plus, she would have to train the newbie to your standards, and they wouldn't know the DCs (who would all be wailing "We want Muffin back!") If she has any sense, she would think very seriously about how inconvenienced SHE would be if she gave you notice before your exams.

Best of luck in them! How is the demand for anthropologists these days?

Muffin I think you are pretty hard done by. Our current AP is paid £65 - ok not a fortune, but as recommended by the agency - and she is here for approx 6 months. We paid her when she went home at Christmas (for 2.5 weeks) and when she was ill (obviously), and we will give her a weeks extra when she finishes.

We don't always give loads of notice of nights out - but then we don't have more than 2 a week. We would normally put children to bed on these nights anyway (certainly more than 50% of the time).

I can see how this situation arises. When I was 18, some 20 years ago when APs were paid about £25 a week, I went for 2 weeks to France adn got £50 total. Fine and dandy if you ignore the 8am - 9pm days. I went back the next year and got another £50 - only I worked for 6 weeks! I am a bit mroe assertive these days!

Good luck Muffin - I think you should have a chat with your family.

Ok, so the AP treaty is out of date, but it was a good basis for how to treat an AP. It really isn't hard to understand to how to treat a member of your family {albeit a temporary one}
I don't understand your situation Muffin tbh. Do you have a contract? How many hours are you meant to be working?When you reach those hours you need to tell your HM that you're into overtime. Why did you accept £55 pocket money? Are you doing less than 25 hours a week?

if its any consolation you can come and ap for us in brisbane! our last ap left with 3 days notice just when i had taken a weeks holiday for her on short notice so she could have a weeks paid leave to go out in the city and get p##sed! she just forgot to tell me till after she had been paid that she wasnt coimng back..but still i think i will happily give any other ap holidays paid when it suits them!

Muffin,
these phrases are very misleading indeed. 'babysitting on tap', 'helping hand on weekends', 'part of the family', 'allowing' the au-pair to go with the family on hols=meaning to work 12 hrs a day on hols, etc etc

I truly wish you good luck with the job and with your studies

Most of them aren't, the nature of this forum i speople only come on here when they have problems they are asking for help with.

'... and why they are so eager to take the offer?'

Erm because they don't know how is going to be.

And if it is so nice then how come most of them are leaving with tears after 2 or 3 months?

The idea of AP as an exchange program is outdated and based on an expired treaty from 1972. For EU nationals the freedom to work anywhere in the EU is the relevant legislatiion.

Au pairs are also subject to the working time directive (including four weeks paid holiday) and the minimum wage. HOwever, board and accomodation count towards the minimum wage.

There was a thread on here a couple of months ago as to what was the true cost of an AP, the general conclusion was by the time you add to pockect money the board accomodation and extras (in my case the most expensive are use of mobile and car) they are effectively paid somewhat above minimum wage.

And if we are such evil people mal-treating these poor innocents why are there so many that are so eager to take up this offer of exploitation?

Actually this is a different situation altogether. Muffin if you are English you shouldn't be an AP at all. That was the whole point of the exchange program.
Were you aware of the conditions and circumstances when you took the live in position? If you are unhappy now, I suggest you either bring this up with your host mum or look for another job.

Tootired,
i totally agree with you.
Some of the things about au-pairs are discracful.

In fact I'm not attacking anyone at all, just trying (perhaps very badly) to put my point of view across.

As I have already said, there are many people here who treat their APs well and with respect. Certainly for working just 22 hours per week your AP is one of the lucky ones.

MuffinToptheMule family is not treating her well. No paid holiday in 2 years is a disgrace and it shouldn't be allowed. But as the AP will lose the roof over her head as well as a job then they are obviously too scared to complain.

Looking after children is such an important job and should be treated as such. As you yourself know it's not just looking after the children. When the AP is not there then a cleaner, childcare and a babysitter needs to be found.

I'm not attacking all people who have APs but the people who mistreat them. I try to imagine how I would feel if it were my dd in a few years from now being treated that way.

Halfway,
where do you live that you could rent a room in family house for 120 per week?
(just curiosity)

too tired to think,

Please be assured that most aupairs are treated VERY Well. They have an opportunity for free room and food often in very expensive cities and in exchange do some house work and easy childcare. A young girl with no qualifications has little or no hope of being able to get a job which will allow her to work as few hours as she does here whilst having a lovely room in a nice house. My aupairs room could be let for about £120 a week and she has free run of my kitchen. She works about 22 hours a week and I never ever expect anything other than saturday night babysitting from her at the weekend. Her work involves 2 mornings cleaning, 2 hours of ironing, 2 afternoons of watching my kids for 2 hours and the occasional school drop off or pick up. I pay her £70 a week for this. She has a tv, freeview, laptop and small but newly decorated and furnished room. My only restrictions on anything she does is that she doesn't shower in the mornings as we only have one bathroom. If I ask her to do anything over and above her hours I always give her the opportunity to say no and generally give her an extra £30 for her efforts and that help is never more than 3 hours. So, she gets great room and board and pay to the value of £200 ish a week for very little effort and still has time to go to school 3 days a week. It would take a lot more than 20 hours in starbucks to make that money.

Oh and she's going home for 2.5 weeks on thursday and I plan to pay her for both weeks even though she has only been here 4 months and I'll need to pay for a cleaner, extra childcare and a babysitter when she's away so it's costing me but she's a nice decent girl and I wouldn't screw her over. How is that a horrible job for a girl who hardly spoke a word of english 4 months ago and couldn't possibly have got any other job over here?

What means 'or do you not allow time off'

Everybody has time off.Paid time off.

As for your employers wanting all this for £55 per week, it is very very sad what is happening with au-pairs.

Sorry for my mistake, Muffin. I have never had an AP stay as long as you have been with your family. In my mind there is not a shadow of a doubt that you should have had paid leave to study for your exam. Hope you have done well in it - your English seems pretty good to me!

You're right Ingles, I have never had, or been an AP so I can't judge on experience.

I have however been a nanny (some years ago now) and know how hard it can be trying to fit in with the family.

On top of looking after the children Au pairs must also be grateful for being allowed to be part of the family - when it suits the family that is!

Of course not all families are like that. I have read your posts previously and many others on the AP threads and know they are treated well and with respect.

It still beggars belief though that in this day and age it's acceptable to treat people like this, many of whom are young girls missing their own families, and think it's OK because they are paid pocket money, fed (but not too much of course) and are allowed to stay in a room in the house.

Agree with Ingles - if you are making your mind up about how APs are treated solely by reading between the lines on internet posts you are better off hiding the threads. (Although Muffin - you really do seem taken for granted, I would never treat an AP (or a nanny) the way you are treated).

hide the thread then... AP's are not the same as paid employees unless you usually invite your bosses family to stay with you for free holidays, put up and feed friends etc etc . If you don't know what having an AP is like why are you judging?

if we're talking paid holidays I gave 2-4 weeks a year.

I do think a lot of the time au pairs get a raw deal under the guise of being "like a family member not an employee"