Mindee that doesn't play on her own?

Yes there are rubbish cm but there are rubbish nurseries too. Let's not get into that debate. You need to judge each setting individually. Nurserys and cm follow exactly the same guidance and legislation these days it is just delivered in a different setting/different way.

I think finding another local cm with similar age child would be a fab idea. Go to the park after school maybe?

blueshoes

I suspect that is more to do with the salary paid at a nursery. As a childminder there are no childcare fees involved.

Whippet is not 'lucky'. There are very good nurseries out there with happy children, sound procedures and motivated staff. On mn, it seems many people who work in 'awful' nurseries become CMs.

Thebody: "As for the fire and dog example!!! what the hell!! you would save the kid in the most immediate danger wouldnt you, be it your own child, a mindee or a complete stranger..." I appreciate your civic mindedness. But as a parent, I would not push my luck and be so naive that in that situation, the CM would not put her children first. Same goes for a nanny who brings her own children. I am a mother first and an employee/self-employed person second. If my children were in the grave danger, I would be there, yes siree, would not see anything else.

At least with a nursery, each child is on equal footing.

"The only thing that I do do is make sure that in the car, mindee is on the pavement side and DD is on the road side, and mindee goes in the car and gets strapped in first, so I know she is safe. But not really sure if this is a mindee/own child thing or not as it is more due to the fact DD can't run off and while mindee is very sensible and probably wouldn't, I would rather be safe than sorry."

Sorry Chloe I should have quoted in my last post.

I also know some rubbish childminders but I am with bubble I don't want to go down that road.

as a cm and parent can I offer chloe some advice first of all I would speak to her parents as they may be encountering similar feelings as a cm for 3 under 2's and my own 2 children age 2 and 7 there are times children need to learn to occupy themselves e.g. toilet training, nappy changes shock horror cooking dinner as you can't starve other children whether mindees or otherwise I have worked with one set of parents on exactly this issue the child I care for is only 16mths old but if I so much as looked at a child other than her she would have hysterics, after speaking to her parents we realised the underlying issue was her not sleeping worked on this together and now she has stopped being rocked to sleep and held all night is begginning to learn that she is not left alone but there are times that unfortunately she is not the centre of the universe.The parents did not say I was a bad cm like people on here seem to be suggesting to you but were very appreciative as they could work with me so everyone was happy and could relay any worries to me it took 3 mths of very hard work particularly on mums behalf but she now at 16mths can play for up to 10 minutes knowing I am nearby but not holding her.
Another idea do you know any other cm's nearby with similar age children as often if you can spend half an hour together it can encourage children to build up self esteem and friendships.

chloe - so all the arguments you have put forward about not prioritsing minded children over your own DC are not true then? as from your last statement your clearly do.

I can't be bothered with yet another CM v Nursery debate but, OP - there are some bloody awful CMs out there.

Our nursery has had several children whose parents and children have had terrible experiences with CMs

This discusion is very interseting and confirms my feeling that nursery is right for my family.

"I have worked in a lot of nurseries and they are all awful. I would never put my DC in one"

Didn't you mean.... "they were all awful?"

Bit of a sweeping statement, otherwise.

I prefer nursery because there is more than one person with DC most of the time. I know most childminders are probably lovley and very good but who knows?

I have to say for me I am far more concerned about the safety of mindees than my own children. Whatever we are doing it's the mindees hand I won't let go of rather than my own ds. That is not to say i put my own dcs in danger but certainly do not put their safety ahead of mindees. As for attention well my role as a cm is to meet the children's needs. To meet all the children in my care's needs. My own dc and mindees need to learn they are not the centre of the universe and that sometimes they need to wait a minute.
In response to op original question........ I do understand where you are coming from. i have a 6 yr old mindee who is similar in that she needs alot of attention. Now I have got to know her alot better i have found out more what she likes to do and have therefore been able to provide more opportunities for her to amuse herself. Sometimes I do have to say "hang on I'll be with you in a moment" and it really does no harm. My youngest that is with me at the same time is 2 so not the same as a baby I know. Have you chatted to her about what she likes to play with at home? Maybe ask mum what her favourite toys are at home to give you some more ideas? Of course you will still play with her but agree it is important for them to learn to play by them selves a bit. Good luck.

totally unfair to Chloe I think, she was asking for advice, if she was only concerned with her own kids why would she care enough to do this.

I have never sent any of my dcs to nursery, loads of bad press, just as much as cms. everyone has a tale dont they?

As for the fire and dog example!!! what the hell!! you would save the kid in the most immediate danger wouldnt you, be it your own child, a mindee or a complete stranger...

Chloe - it's relevant because although you are protesting that it's not the case, some of your earlier posts give the distinct impression of irritation about the fact that this mindee's 'clinginess' (some would say engaging, friendly personality?) is preventing you from doing thigs with/ for your child.

DaftPunk - examples are not as rare/ extreme as you might think - I have many more, I just didn't bother to post them all.

I think good nurseries are rather more organised than you give then credit for. The one my kids went to had a very clear fire evacuation policy, and in fact we even witnessed it during a false alarm which co-incided with a pick-up one day. Staff from older rooms are assigned to baby rooms in case of emergency to carry non-walkers.

whippet;

extreme examples i'd say.

is any form of childcare brilliant?... nope.

I know I'll be shot down in flames, but this sort of debate highlights exactly why we chose nursery or private nanny over child-minding.

I have so many friends who have left CMs after disagreements about the needs of the mindees vs the CM's own children.

As I parent, I think you are automatically conditioned to look after your own offspring first. Anyone who really believes a CM will treat mindees equally with own children is surely misguided?

If there was a fire, who would you rescue first?

If two children ran way in opposite directions, who would you go after first?

Two friends of mine have had real life situations which confirm this.
In one, a CM was in the park when a large dog came racing towards her and her two charges (own child/ mindee (my friend's child)) CM lifted up her own child out of the way, but dog bit mindee...

My other friend had had a CM from nursery age through to Reception, when it began to become clear that the mindee was significantly more academic than CM's daughter. Another friend witnessed a worrying incident in a coffee shop where CM was undermining mindee in order to stick up for her own child - really quite nasty, bullying behaviour.

It happens. I'm not saying that chloe is necessarily this sort of person, but you have to recognise the basic, human instinct to protect your own children first.....?

I agree with Blueshoes.