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Original poster

Is it just my au pair who doesn't do her basic jobs without being asked EVERY time???

87 replies

kittywise · 05/01/2009 18:04

Some of you might know me through my au pair saga. We have had a real run of bad luck with them.

I use GUMTREE and not an agency as I've heard so many crappy things about agency au pairs being generally useless and people shedding out loads of money for a shite au pair which the agency won't make amends for.

Anyway the current au pair is studying English here, although her English is pretty good.
I got to meet her before deciding whether to accept her. Gave her extensive questionnaire I got from MN and asked her lots of questions, watched her with the kids etc. Got a good reference. etc.

Anyway, she came last Monday and all seemed ok, a bit manic here as we had lots of christmas guests.
She was very enthusiastic, the kids loved playing with her.

Then on the Thursday she came down with a cold and sore throat and has basically been out of action since then. She has done bits and bobs, but VERY slowly.

After she was with us a couple of days I gave her a very basic and simple routine and jobs that I would like her to do each day like, tidy dc's lunch boxes away, get dc's water at tea time, get pj's on at 6.30, help tidy kitchen after dinner.

None of this gets done without me asking first, everytime.
I've asked her if she understands the list, if she has any questions about it etc. She always says everything's fine with a smile on her face and then doesn't do anything.

Today was first day back at school and she also went back to college, so was well enough to do that, but arrived back 10 mins late to start her shift and been generally dragging her arse around and the house since.

The kids like her which is good and although I trust her not to hurt them in anyway I'm not sure I would be happy leaving her alone with them for longer than me going on the school run (20 mins).
When i came back from school today the baby was walking round with a terrible pooey nappy which had not been changed.
When she dresses the little ones ( only after I've asked) they have really inappropriate clothing on, like just jumper, no socks to go out in.

Now, I don't have a problem settling someone in, showing them the ropes, taking things slowly as long as they are showing willing and some sort of initiative.

Oh I don't know why I'm writing this. I suppose I just wanted to find out whether this is normal? Is it something that i should expect any au par to do?

Do other au pairs do this?

Thanks for reading, I just bloody wish i could find someone with a bit of common sense

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Original poster
kittywise · 05/01/2009 20:36

nab, when she came round (and in the ad I placed) I made it clear, well I thought I had, that I would like SOME help domestic wise. She seemed fine with it.

it's like all I hear is "Yes of course"

I have had such a rough ride with au pairs recently that I don't take any bollocks now. if they start messing up, they're out.

I just wanted to know if this bollocks was normal, in which case no more aupairs for me. But tbh I've had some brilliant help in the past so I know it IS possible. Perhaps they are a very rare breed though

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Original poster
kittywise · 05/01/2009 20:32

paula tell her to pack straight away

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NAB3lovelychildren · 05/01/2009 20:32

I had been in my au pair job for 5 weeks before the mum asked me if I wouldn't mind cleaning the house. It was never mentioned at the interview that I would have to do it.

Original poster
kittywise · 05/01/2009 20:31

NAB yes, I think it is her first job, she is 25 but from the questions she answered one would have assumed that she had good domestic/childcare experience at home.

DadinsteadofMum She has a VERY SIMPLE list of duties. I can't understand WHY she doesn't do them. ATM she is finally cleaning the kitchen 2 hours after she was supposed to finish. I am not going to stop her as she has been so horribly, horribly slow at everything she's done. If she'd work at half a decent speed she'd have easily finished on time.

I think I'll give it a couple of days and see how things go. I have laid down the law a bit today, so I'll see whether anything sinks in.

I would just like someone I can rely on, to be another adult

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NAB3lovelychildren · 05/01/2009 20:28

She is telling you she won't be working? I think you need to book her flight home now.

PaulaatMummyKnowsBest · 05/01/2009 20:26

at least your is working....

mine came home on new years eve not feeling well (after almost 2 weeks off) but decided to go into London to see in the new year. Got home at 4 am and felt really poorly. I spent thursday, friday and all weekend carrying and fetching for her and then sunday evening she told me that she won't be working this week either. She may do a few hours of childcare but won't be able to help me get the children ready for school as she wants to have a lie in, or help with any laundry or housework.

She has a cough so hardly life threatening (sorry I sound rather mean don't I). I am self emploed as is my DH so I can't book any work this week and have had to turn several clients away as I have no childcare.

She has also forgotten what a shower is.

Au pairs.....why do we do it?

NAB3lovelychildren · 05/01/2009 20:22

How old is the AP? Is it her first job?

I would talk to her. I would sy she doesn't seem very happy and ask if everything is okay. If she says she is fine then hit her

with the fact she isn't doing her job right

NAB3lovelychildren · 05/01/2009 20:22

How old is the AP? Is it her first job?

I would talk to her. I would sy she doesn't seem very happy and ask if everything is okay. If she says she is fine then hit her

with the fact she isn't doing her job right

DadInsteadofMum · 05/01/2009 20:20

Does she have a manual of what to do when - mine are given here is the daily routine - what to do when.

(though if each au pair brought a user manual with them that would help as well)

Millarkie · 05/01/2009 20:01

My sympathies to you. We've only had one au pair and she has been great (but she does have a very small job description so I'm easy to impress).
Our next arrives on Sunday and I'm so nervous after reading the horror stories on here.
Hope she gets better with a bit of time and routine. Fingers crossed for you.

Lilybeto · 05/01/2009 19:44

I'm always shocked by the AP stories on mumsnet. I sometimes wonder if there is a school of lying idiot APs. I really would suggest trial runs of a month but I guess the logistics of such arrangement would be extremely difficult. I hope the situation gets better.

Original poster
kittywise · 05/01/2009 19:15

I shall carry on venting my spleen.

I asked this evening to take the clean and ironed laundry upstairs and put it away. Each child has their own basket of ironing which when full goes upstairs to be put away.
I have already explained where the clothes go, most of the shelves are labeled anyway.
I have just gone to get pj's ( she didn't of course) and found the clothes, which had been neatly ironed and folded by me literally stuffed onto the shelves, all messy, tangled up and wrinkled.
I have just had to show her how to put clothes neatly onto a shelf.
FFS do I now have to ad this to my list of initial au pair questions? " Can you put away clean laundry without trashing it? Do you know how to fold a pair of trousers in half so that they will fit neatly into a drawer?

Please hep me someone . How on earth can I vet people so that I will know that they have this basic knowledge? Even my just 5 year old can put away her clothes neatly

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