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Original poster

calling all the mums - could you maybe explain this to me please..!

32 replies

wewishyouawitchiechristmas · 30/12/2008 23:29

I'm in bits

I had a job all lined up to go to in the new year, was about to sign the contract on friday. I was offered the job on the 14th Dec and I turned down several job offers and interviews as I though this job was the one. I have had many phone conversations with the mother that have all gone well.

Originally the mother wanted me to just start on Jan 5th without meeting her DD, but I really felt it was a good idea to meet her yesterday so I popped along for an hour to see her, but the little girl was playing with the housekeeper and the mother hadn't told her who I was so the little girl let me join in with her games but obviously didn't "bond" with me immediately as she was probably a bit confused and with her (much loved it seems) housekeeper and her mother. I spoke to the mother briefly and she seemed fine about everything, we discussed the contract and all seemed normal...

... then about 2 hours ago, the mother text me saying
"I am so terribly sorry but we have decided not to employ you. Somehow I got the feeling that you will not be able to get on with (DD)"

WTF???

I called and left several messages then she finally sent me another text that said "I am so terribly sorry but want to stick to my gut feeling"

this has NEVER happened to me before, I have no idea where it has come from... can any mums shed any light on what she means??

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MaureenMLove · 31/12/2008 13:53

Aw, poor you, but I think the wording of her first text says it all. 'we have decided not to employ you.' Someone who shows such little respect for you and suggests that she is employing you is not someone you need on your books frankly.

Its a horrible feeling now, I'm sure, but I think you may have had a very lucky escape.

thebody · 31/12/2008 13:46

How awful and annoying for you but frankly think you had a lucky escape. Its their loss and obviously not any fault of yours, better luck next time mate....

Blondeshavemorefun · 31/12/2008 12:17

as the mum/hk seem to be foreign and obviously rude to sepak in their language, seems you may have had a lucky escape

though obv doesnt help the fact that you dont have a job now

least you didnt hand in your notice for this job, if that makes you feel any better

never accept a job with out meeting children

good luck in finding one in the new year

Weegle · 31/12/2008 09:03

It's shocking for you but I think you're best out of it. Imagine how excluded you'd feel in a job where you couldn't understand conversations on a regular basis.

Also agree that bonds don't happen in an hour! We're on our third au pair and DS takes at least 4 weeks to play with them, and about 8 weeks to be left happily with them.

Think you're best off out of it and use it as a learning experience to keep all other avenues open until it's a done deal.

Good luck

magicofchristmas · 31/12/2008 00:58

I would have felt very uncomfortable not being able to understand what they were saying, I think it was pretty rude of them, even if the HK couldn't speak english I would have expected the mum to explain this. Sounds like you had a lucky escape and this was not for you. What a horrible thing to happen at last minute tho especially since you turned other work down.

Good luck.

Original poster
wewishyouawitchiechristmas · 30/12/2008 23:52

no, it was through gumtree.com so no come back from that,

I've sent a so many messages, I just want an explanation really, I've never had a problem getting on with any child so this has come as a bit of a shock to me.

I was a bit thrown by the HK being there too, they (the Mum and HK) kept speaking to each other in their language (not sure what it was!)

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Ebb · 30/12/2008 23:45

Poor you! How bizzare that the mother didn't want you to meet the daughter in the first place! I can't imagine many Mums doing that. She sounds a bit strange. It must be really annoying that you've turned down interviews / jobs in the mean time. Did you go through an agency? Can they shed any light on it? The mother was being seriously unrealistic if she thought her DD was going to 'bond' with you straight away. Most children need time to adapt to a new carer. I hope you find something else soon.