calling all the mums - could you maybe explain this to me please..!

did she know about your tatoos / piercings beforehand ????

not nice i know,but maybe this had an effect on her decision?

Horrible situation for you I know but I can't help but put myself in the shoes of the mum who is obviously sadly not a woman who can stick with a decision. She should never have offered you the job until she'd had the chance to access how you got on with her child but maybe on reflection after your meeting (which sounded so awful) she felt you didn't bond with her child.

Something similar happened to me but thankfully I hadn't made the nanny (very junior I add) a firm offer. When I saw how she was on her trial day I couldn't get rid of her quick enough I'm afriad. After that she bombarded me with texts and calls and even got family member to call me and demand a meeting. Very intimadating and just a horrible experience.

I'd say just drop it and leave them to it - I'm sure you'll find a lovely family who will appreciate you.

I agree, very wise and insightful post indeed from Athene.

Fab post from AtheneNoctua- there is some very good advice there, you'd be wise to follow it in my opinion.

I never give my notice in until I have signed contracts with a new employer or have a written offer of employment in writing.

I would keep any communication that you have with her as professional and factual as possible. Do you have her email address? I think that would be far more appropriate than sending a text which can often be easily misinterpreted.

as you have proof in your voice mail that she offered you a job, i would def send a letter - make sure message doesnt deleteafter x many days or bluetooth it to your computer etc

agree with hind sight that you prob didnt go about replying in the right way but there is nothing you can do about that now

agree until you have signed a contract nothing is set in stone

so a short polite letter saying that she owes you a weeks wages etc should be sent and see what happens

you have nothing to lose

I think this mum is a coward. I think she knew she did not want to hire you when you went around (hence the conversations in another language and not introducing you as the new nanny). I think her decision not to hire you had nothing to do with your performance or her child's lack of bonding. It is probably something more like she told the HK she hired ananny. HK was offended, and in atttempt to look after her existing employee she changed her mind, but did not have the decency to be upfront and honest with you. She is obviously not a professional employer and you are better off without her.

I understand why you are angry. But I agree with the comments that your reaction was not quite professional.

I just left my job for a new one (last day is tomorrow -- yippee!!!), and I did not resign or stop talking to other companies until the moment I had a signed contract from them, and I signed it myself. So, hopefully, you have learned from this that nothing is a done deal until you have it in writing. And any prospective employer should understand that you need an offer in writing in order to accept it.

Anyway, she is a loon and you are better off without her.

Oh, and I would probably send that letter politely and professionally asking for one week's pay. She probably won't respond. Then I'd send another informing her that I intend to take her to court if she does not respond. Then, I'd probably let it go because really you are probably not going to win. But I would have a bit of fun making her worry as much as she made me worry.

Good luck what ever you decide. And good luck on the job hunt. Where are you? Where are you looking? Live-in or out?

Yes, some people are crappy. I think it would be a shame for you to put your energies into her that's all

I honestly don't think it is worth the effort. Be angry and move on.

also there's no proof, it's your word against hers.

Officially you are entitled to the notice period per the contract. If there isn't a notice period specified in the contract then the standard I am sure is one week's pay.

However..... your text has somewhat upped the ante. I am fairly sure that if you send her a formal letter asking her to pay for your notice period then she will probably ignore it. The only option then is to send a legal letter, but the cost of that will probably wipe out the money you might get and she could still ignore it. If you chased her in the courts for breach of contract you can do it without legal representation and it doesn't cost much, but it will take an age, I'm afraid.

A verbal agreement is useless because you cannot prove that she offered you a position. There is no point trying to claim for anything as she can simply say she never made such an offer.

I think you both handled it badly. It was wrong of you to persue the woman. She didn't like you in the end and that's that.

If she has a gut feeling that you are not right then that's fine HOWEVER, she SHOULDN"T have made an offer without her daughter being involved.

Just look at it as a lesson learned and move on.

I am very impressed! Woman after my own heart!!

I think it might be helpful to other potential nannies if you do give her a bit of a scare in a letter, because she is very out of step with employment law here and this needs pointing out.

Lady in Bishop's Stortford on another thread may be desparate for a temp nanny/mother's help for two weeks, btw. Are you near??

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/childminders_nannies_au_pairs_etc/674264-Problem-with-Au-Pair-need-advice?msgid =13725488#13725488

Well, as I understand it, you could get the equivalent to what the notice period would have been, eg one week, one month, or whatever you agreed.

I reckon a quick trip down to the CAB to get help drafting a letter pointing out the relevant section of the law, and stating the amount you would be happy with, would be a good step.

It may be because she is from overseas she does not realise she has broken the law here.

It would teach the cow a lesson though ...!

But yes, it would be hassle.

You had a very very lucky escape there! Imagine if you were employed there and you had a disagreement with the housekeeper, the mom or the child?

There may or may not be contractual claims potentially, but it really isn't worth the hassle.

I would however write an email to Gumtree about it all. She sounds seriously weird, and you acted reasonably throughout - especially in wanting to meet the child before you started work!

If it was me, I'd text her back and say something like, 'thanks for your voicemail. Am sure the police will respond immediately to someone knocking on the door...'

This is probably fanning the flames, but do you realise you can take legal action if she has reneged on a firm offer of a job, and you have turned down other possibilities to take it?? Flowerybeanbag may know more about this.

However I agree with Blondes, she's a nutter and you are best off out of there.

OMG

she sounds a nutter - best you leave her alone and thank your lucky stars you have escaped working for her!!

I remember going for one interview and when I got there it was with the outgoing nanny or housekeeper (not sure which.) I was not impressed.

I think you need to assume this is the mothers issue and not because you were not brilliant.

I took a nanny job. At the beginning of the third week I was given a weeks notice and I know it was because she found out I had been in care. I met the next nanny by chance and knew I had had a lucky escape.

Let this go and get yourself a better job. It is her loss.