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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

what would you do if your nanny has lots of unscheduled absences?

33 replies

MGMidget · 15/12/2008 18:01

The other day I calculated our nanny has had 11 per cent (i.e. more than one in ten) of days she should have been at work as unscheduled absence. By that I mean not pre-planned holiday but time off for sickness or personal reasons. This has been going on for nine months since we employed her. I've tried giving her a financial incentive to turn up as we now dock her pay for days off (apart from any statutory sick pay which has never kicked in so far) as we are contractually entitled to do. However, the problem lately is that she seems to have had a series of unfortunate circumstances which have clearly upset her. Family pet got ill and had to be put down, then a not immediate but not too distant family member was rushed to hospital, thought to be close to death and now her father has a potential serious illness. Each time she has taken a week off with no prior warning making it very difficult to get childcare at short notice and jeapardising my work. She seems to be so wrapped up in her own problems that she doesn't seem aware of the impact it has on me. As she is so upset by things I feel terrible raising her absences as a concern or making it a 'disciplinary' matter but frankly I can't continue to employ her if her attendance doesn't improve. Not sure how to tackle this as I don't know if others would think me totally unreasonable to expect her to turn up for work rather than grieve for her dead pet or visit a sick relative in hospital? I think the real problem is her circumstances - e.g. sick relative and dog hundreds of miles away (family pet lives with her mum). Hence the need for a week off when something happens! Hubby relunctant to let her go as thinks next nanny could be as bad or worse and we should stick with what we know and see the positives - e.g. she is good with my son when she actually turns up for work. Anyone got any thoughts what they would do in these circumstances?

OP posts:

VirginBoffinMum · 18/12/2008 17:09

That's practically a year if you take annual holidays into account. You are onto a winner there.

Blondeshavemorefun · 18/12/2008 16:02

i have 9 dealy loved pet graves in my garden

VirginBoffinMum · 18/12/2008 15:56

Oh no, I need a month off now.

Blondeshavemorefun · 18/12/2008 15:47

now now virgin - BEHAVE yourself

VirginBoffinMum · 18/12/2008 15:46

I am going to buy a goldfish and hope it dies quickly so I can grieve for it on company time.

ninedragons · 18/12/2008 11:38

Grieving for a pet? It wouldn't be happening on my time; she could go to the Job Centre and do it there.

That's just appalling. I would sack her without hesitation.

VirginBoffinMum · 18/12/2008 11:30

I think you have to pay her for the TB thing, but then let her go after that and in future have something in the contract about paid and unpaid leave limits (I have this in mine).

Millarkie · 18/12/2008 10:05

I guess your son hasn't had the infant BCG? My kids were immunised shortly after birth because we lived in a high risk zone for TB.
In the short term could you ring NHS direct to check how likely it is that a non immune suppressed person ie. not elderly etc will catch or spread TB?
In the long term she is letting you down too much and you need to give her a final warning/get rid!

JenniPenni · 18/12/2008 09:47

TB!? Highly infectious and spread through the air. What contact does she have with him exactly?

I would reconsider her immediately tbh... aside from her obvious lack of dedication to you and your family... her absences will only get worse I fear

I have had 4 days off sick this year (am a childminder), 3 due to being in hospital after an asthma attack and 1 extra day to rest at home to ensure lungs were strong enough to look after my mindees. Colds/under the weather/woman cramps... I work through it all.

I need my job, I value my job and I am ever aware how difficult it is for my parents to find alternate childcare, which is often unsettling for the kids anyway.

Original poster

MGMidget · 17/12/2008 23:04

tuberculosis. they didn't know he had it at first so there were no protections initially.

OP posts:

Millarkie · 17/12/2008 22:45

What type of notifiable disease? Something like MRSA or something viral with an incubation period? If he is in isolation surely she was gowned up etc to visit him?
My panic level would be dependent on what the illness is..

nbee84 · 17/12/2008 22:37

OMG! difficult one. It's her father. Is it a life threatening disease? If so then you can understand she had to be there. If not then she should have been considering her job.

Original poster

MGMidget · 17/12/2008 22:24

To make matters worse I have now found out her sick father has a notifiable desease and is in an isolation ward at the hospital. She's been visiting him and is looking after my baby son!!! Now the dilemma is should I suspend her on full pay until she's been quarantined!

OP posts:

wewishyouawitchiechristmas · 17/12/2008 12:38

this year, I've had 2 half days off (once to go to A&E as I had a destroyed eardrum + the other for a follow up hospital appt about said ear... I went straight back to work after both LOL)
my bosses between them however, have had about 12 days off between them

what annoys me is that they have both been off recently with the christmas lurgy that we've all had, but have I been able to take time off? have I heck!

sorry, just needed a moan+also to say... GET RID!!
I felt really guilty about going to A&E even though I couldn't hear and there was blood coming out of my ear, so this time off for a pet dying doesn't wash with me!
and I work about 55/60 hours a week so not like I had spare days to sort myself out

my hamster died recently, maybe I should have taken a few days off LOL

VirginBoffinMum · 16/12/2008 20:01

Want a job, nannyj?

nannyj · 16/12/2008 19:33

In 14 years of being a nanny i've had 2 days off through illness and 2 days off for funerals. You should absolutely get rid of her.

VirginBoffinMum · 16/12/2008 15:19

That is an awful lot of absence. My workplace is extremely tolerant and I have a lot of paid sick/compassionate leave available if necessary, but I have had just under two weeks off in the past year - 10 days for bad flu in one go with a doctor's note (half the department had it), plus 3 days for pregnancy-related things at the beginning as I got awful headaches and coulnd't drive or read the computer screen.
I have had some ante-natal appointments but only took a couple of hours off for each of those. Currently I am working from home 4 days out of 5 because of a mobility problem, but still getting through a lot of work.

I can't imagine taking time off for pets - I would just pop to the vet's before work or in my lunch hour, or get a neighbour to do it. Similarly with the kids I would just take a day's normal leave - I probably do that 2 or 3 days a year. My mum and dad have both been in hospital this year and I didn't take time off for that. This girl is something else, and I would let her go.

Original poster

MGMidget · 16/12/2008 11:18

Thanks for lots of feedback. You're echoing a lot of what's going through my mind but it is good to have other mumsnetters as a sounding board!

OP posts:

Blondeshavemorefun · 15/12/2008 20:02

10days off in 9 months does sound a lot and if was ill can easily be done, but having days off for dying pets is silly - i would have had 9 days off now

agree with others, she is not allowing you to do your job properly and unfort think you might have to give her 4weeksnotice and look for another nanny

taking time off for the reasons you have mentioned are not acceptable and this is why nannies get a bd name, as she is unprofessional

beforesunrise · 15/12/2008 19:15

i would definitely let her go. for me attendance and punctuality are as important as the way the nanny cares for the child. it seems to me she's not very professional, let her go before you start seriously resenting her and she ruins your career too!

devoutsceptic · 15/12/2008 19:08

I had one like this - nightmare. Exactly the same in fact (she's not a jolly, largish girl with a gap between her teeth is she? ) right down the rellies constantly in hospital. Very kind to the kids - when she was here - but made my life a nightmare. I got rid and replace her with a fantastic Polish girl who had a great work ethic, never took any time off and the children adored her.
HOnestly, a week off for a a sick pet that doesn't even live with her? Taking the piss big time. Would YOU get away with that at work? thought not!

AtheneNoctua · 15/12/2008 19:05

I'd get rid of her before she clocks up a year of service. It is sad that all these things have happened to her. But, I couldn't put my own job at risk. I work hard, and I expect my nanny to do the same. If she is not prepared to be there when I need her, then she is not the nanny for me.

The rule I manage the nanny by is "If I would go to work in your circumstances, then I expect you to come to work".

phraedd · 15/12/2008 18:58

as a nanny I have taken time off sick but this has been very limited.

I also took time off when my daughter was very ill (HDU for burst appendics) but again i feel that was completely understandable.

Your nanny is taking the p* quite frankly.

Definately give her a written warning if you've allready spoken about it.

nannynick · 15/12/2008 18:47

I feel you need to have a discussion with her. Explain that it is affecting your own work, as her unscheduled days off are hard for you to cover. Make her understand that even though you are not paying her when she is off, these absences are still causing you a big problem, which ultimately will result in you finding more reliable childcare.

ACAS: Managing Attendance - not sure if this Guide will help of not, but perhaps is worth a read.

nannynick · 15/12/2008 18:37

Your nanny only works for you 3 days per week - why can't a lot of this attending to sick relatives, pet funeral, etc be scheduled for her days off?
In the past I've had time off from work due to attending a funeral - I had One day off... and funeral was several hundred miles (a 3.5 hour drive) from my home. A day here and there I can accept... but taking all 3 working days, isn't that a bit excessive?

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