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What is the difference between a Mothers Help and a Nanny?

41 replies

nannynick · 13/12/2008 17:33

What do you feel are the differences between a Mothers Help and a Nanny?

I feel that a Mothers Help is:
someone who helps around the home, while at least one parent is also at home the majority of the time. The Mothers Help may be left to care for children for short periods, but not all day.

I feel a Nanny is:
someone who cares for children at a families home, who also does some domestic tasks. They can care for children all day.

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EachPeachPearMum · 17/12/2008 20:10

I knew Nick was male- it was just a joke

Blondeshavemorefun · 17/12/2008 09:36

nick is def male

Lilybeto · 17/12/2008 00:56

nannynick, I've seen you on lots of posts before and had a mental image of you being a woman in your late twenties. Just looked at your profile. Now I know that you're not.

Original poster
nannynick · 16/12/2008 23:21

I don't think modern science has got that far yet - could be quite a while before men can give birth

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EachPeachPearMum · 15/12/2008 19:55

Thanks NN! Very helpful...
Now could you just come and give birth for me too?

Original poster
nannynick · 15/12/2008 12:47

EachPeach - I think you want a live-out part-time mother's help. Or you may want to advertise for a cleaner (who can also cook). Or you could advertise for a part-time housekeeper.
Oh it is so difficult with all these various 'titles' for what could be the same job.

Wonder what a Home Help is? Maybe you want one of those.

Think if advertising locally in a shop window, I'd use:

WANTED: Mothers Help / Housekeeper
3 hours per day, Mon, Wed and Fri
Duties will include Cleaning and Cooking for Family.
Please can ~name~ on ~phonenum~ to discuss.

If advertising online you may need to pick a category... I'd probably select Mothers Help.

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EachPeachPearMum · 14/12/2008 21:12

I was thinking a couple of hours per day max, not 50hrs per week!

EachPeachPearMum · 14/12/2008 21:10

I am interested in this... was going to start a thread asking about the duties/pay of a mothers' help.
I am due DC2 in Jan, and need some help with housework and cooking...wasn't going to be any childcare, as DD has ft nursery place.
Do I need a PT mothers' help, or am I looking for a housekeeper?
(am finding that hilarious btw- I have a 2 bed house!)

catepilarr · 14/12/2008 19:18

lilibeto - i'd say you are mothers help because beeing an aupair is /or should be/ about cultural exchange and learning a language while staying with a family and helping with children and household. the visa used to restrict the hours to 25 a week. i think there will always be jobs where the line between an aupair and a mothers help or a mothers help and a nanny isnt very clear.

i personally feel that a mothers help is more guided by the parents than a nanny, isnt left sole charge all day every day and does more cleaning around the house or parents laundry. but hten you can have nanny houskeepers who do the cleaning as well. difficult to tell where to draw the line... i think a nanny is left to get on with things she is responsible for and mothers help gets asked to do things as they come up and the parents arent out of the house 50hours a week.

Original poster
nannynick · 14/12/2008 11:28

Ofsted call anyone who meets the requirements of their scheme, a Home Childcarer - which at first I didn't like but thinking about it, the title is better than Nanny, Au-Pair, Mother's Help etc... it differentiates between someone who cares primarily for a child, compared to someone who care primarily for the home (housekeeper).

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Lilybeto · 13/12/2008 19:11

I agree that the titles are no longer valid.

P.s. The pendants will be attacking soon. Apostrophe problems on my behalf.

Original poster
nannynick · 13/12/2008 19:07

Hmm, 'third parent' like that idea. Certainly could be useful if you could appoint someone else to have parental rights. Carers may be in loco parentis at times, but they don't have parental rights to my knowledge - so could come across issues (such as if a child needed major surgery at a hospital).

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ingles2 · 13/12/2008 19:05

probably too many nick

VirginBoffinMum · 13/12/2008 19:01

I wish there was something called a 'third parent' because that would be reallly amazing!!

Original poster
nannynick · 13/12/2008 19:00

Enough hours? Do you mean that there is some definition somewhere that defines how many hours someone has to work to have the title Mothers Help?

I think that perhaps the titles we traditionally use to describe these roles, are no longer all that valid. Anyone else think similarly?

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Lilybeto · 13/12/2008 18:58

I'm not intending to ask for more money. I am quite happy in my job for now. I know the title doesn't matter as such, but I just wondered if my job had a specific name.

ingles2 · 13/12/2008 18:54

Nick, you are being technically correct. but Lilly isn't a mothers help. She doesn't do anywhere near enough hours.
I think you are an English AP Lilly ,even though such a thing no longer exists and never did.
You are doing 25 hours for the going rate i.e £60 live in.
I'm sure your "title" doesn't matter unless you are intending to leave, in which case you should speak to your HM. I'm sure she'll tell you what position she thinks you are suitable for.
If you are intending on asking for more money, I think you should consider whether your hours/responsibilities have changed since you accepted the position. If they have, you should speak to your HM, if not, then you should ask yourself why you accepted the position in the first place.

Original poster
nannynick · 13/12/2008 18:44

Plus now the au-pair visa category no longer exists - so even those people coming from abroad to the UK (from 1 Dec 08 onwards) aren't au-pairs either. But what are they - Mothers Help or Nanny? I think it depends on what role they are doing... how much of their working time is childcare v how much is housework, how much management they may require, etc.

Previous to 1 Dec 08, you could be an au-pair even if not from abroad, if you worked up to 5 hours per day in exchange for board and lodgings plus a little pocket money. But the au-pair scheme no longer exists, so it is only those people in the UK who have an au-pair visa which has yet to expire, who I feel are actually au-pairs. Those who don't need a visa to work in the UK I feel are a live-in Mothers Help (or live-in Nanny).

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Lilybeto · 13/12/2008 18:34

I always say I'm an au-pair but people keep saying you can't be an au-pair if you are not from abroad

Original poster
nannynick · 13/12/2008 18:34

No you won't have an au-pair visa, but that is where I suspect the 25 hours came from. Your MB could ask you to work more hours than that, as you don't have visa restrictions.

SAHM's present an issue... as at what point does someone change from being a Mothers Help to a Nanny in that situation? Where the Mothers Help is having responsibility for a child (or more than one child) the majority of their working hours, then I feel they are more a Nanny than a Mothers Help. There is going to be some overlap between the roles of Nanny and Mothers Help - thus why I was asking the question as to what people feel defines each role.

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tankie · 13/12/2008 18:31

Tbh it sounds like an au pair role to me - though you could just as easily call yourself a part time mother's help.

Original poster
nannynick · 13/12/2008 18:29

Rent, food, heat/light, tv license, etc all do mount up, thus why live-in staff are not paid that much. Working out the actual costs of the benfits is hard, thus why I expect NMW does not apply for live-in jobs.

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Lilybeto · 13/12/2008 18:29

I don't have an au-pairs visa as I am not from abroad. The MB is a SAHM but is often out with some of the children and I am home with the others. I cook dinner for the children and sometimes the parents, empty and load the dishwasher when it needs to be done but I don't do any 'housework' as such.
I am still slightly confused about what I am. I'm going to say Mother's help.

Original poster
nannynick · 13/12/2008 18:25

I agree with Tankie, a live-in Nanny or Mothers Help would be working 50-60 hours per week. Lily, your hours are less than that... they are at the au-pair limit of 5 hours per day, probably due to that being the restriction on an au-pairs visa.
If the majority of those 25 hours that you are working you have sole-charge care of a child (with parents not at home) then you are more a nanny in my view.

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Lilybeto · 13/12/2008 18:19

Tankie, I'm not complaining about the money, just wondering and I took it into consideration about rent, food, bills etc before I moved in. I am 21. I left home at 18