AIBU to be annoyed that my nanny's phone was off all day so DS was not collected from school when he was sick

WW I once had a boss the same as yours and yes it was my own personal phone I ended up handing her the bill every month and telling her she needed to stump up some money towards it. She settled ever so slightly when she realised just how much I was texting her. One month it showed I had text her 43 times in one day.

She should be pleased you are not glued to your phone but looking after her child.

my (soon to be former) MB is a bit like this regarding MY mobile phone, she once had a massive go at me for not answering my phone when she had forgotten her door keys and needed to be let in - the reason was I was putting her child to bed at the time so (shock horror) my phone was not on my person but outside on the bookshelf so I couldn't really answer it+not forgetting maybe having the keys to her own house would have been a start eh?

she texts me all day, every day asking how my charge is, which is fair enough, but sometimes, if I don't answer within minutes, she'll re-send the text - like I'm not busy throughout the day+can't always answer a text straight away?

I wouldn't mind if it was a work phone, but its not, its my personal phone that I had to switch the contracts on, as I end up texting her so much, I was going out of my allowance for the month!

sorry, needed a rant there!

TALD - I did wonder about the father but didn't want to make assumptions as there are a lot of single mums on here.

i dont think the nanny deserves a written warning. i think where possible she should have her phone on but that there are time when it is not possible or when she isnt able to answer as mentioned, swimming, out of signal. so i do think OP should have made verbal contact with nanny before making assumption that message had been received. if it was me and i hadnt been able to make verbal contact i would have made my own way to the school, and also still tried to contact her or arrange a friend or childs father to collect. i agree that your child is your responsibility and i wouldnt have been able to go home or go to sleep without knowing he had been collected and was ok. i dont think the fact that you employ someone to care for your children negates your ultimate responsibility as their parent. with regards to nanny, if she doesnt think it is a big deal then you need to stress how important it is that she keeps her phone on when possible. also, if it isnt in your contract, i would recommend putting it in but again, this doesnt negate your responsibility for your children.

I always have my phone on but if it is in my bag I don't always here it, so if I got a text I might not realise as I don't walk about with my phone in my hand all day.

So if phone rang and she didn't answer it wasn't that she didn't have it switched on, perhaps she was driving and phone was in bag, music on for kids.

I would have rang her a good few times in the hope she would hear it, not just text.

Sorry but peoples attitudes to phones vary a lot and I get pissed off when people expect me to have my phone glued to my arse all day.

Not one person has questioned the fact that the child has TWO parents.

On the (rare) occasions I have left my phone at home I have always informed MB of where I will be at any given time, even handing her the other nanny's tel no. for example. That way if she needed to contact me in an emergency she would at least have some way of getting hold of me. I have also had tel no's written elsewhere if I need to get hold of them.

Agree with the others tho that you too have a responsibility to your child and should have made sure your nanny got the message.

how many of you forget your phone/dont look at it during the day?

many a time i would call ex mb and leave a message about something , and she wouldnt look/hear her phone till 4/6hrs later

agree nanny should have her phone with her at all times, but she forgot it

the op as a mum should have rung nanny at work house once she didnt pick up her mobile to leave a message on work ansa machine

tbh i think you are both in the wrong - have a chat and make sure you both know what both of you should do if child is ill - and forget about it

What time did the school call you?

The nanny is wrong to have had her phone off.

I don't think you were wrong to send the text but I would also have phoned to actually speak to her or phoned the school to see that he had been picked up.

does the nanny regularly have her phone switched off or was it an accident?

yesturday i switched my phone to silent at singing at 9.30 them forgot and turned it back to ringing at 1ish... i checked for calls / texts (and hadnt recieved any) but if i had i would not expect a written warning for missing a call....

on the other side (almost) there was a time when i REALLY REALLY needed MB or DB... their dog became extreamly sick (and the vet said it nearly died, with just hours to spare)... anyway i took control and called and texted both bosses AND called their work numbers, and called their work headoficces to try and locate them...

i couldnt reach either of them and was responsible for the poor dog and vets etc all afternoon. The point was it COULD have been one of the children seriously poorly, and i could NOT get hold of either of them at all...

anyway, rather than wating for them to come and sort the dog out i sorted the poor dog myself (which from your analogy would probably equate to you collecting your child who needed collecting)

ofcourse while i am working i make every effort to have my phone on and with me... BUT some places it has no signal, some places its on silent, and occasionaky the battery runs low (I keep a charger at work too and this is rare but it happens cause its LIFE).... and yes twice i have forgotten it and done the 90min school run without my phone... because i am HUMAN

I also have the names / addresses / numbers for all my nanny friends, and 'our groups' etc in the nanny diary so IF my phone didnt work and it was that important, my bosses could use the nanny diary to see where we are and find another number etc.

i think a friendly conversation is the way forward, along the lines of can you try to have your phone n while working... and maybe suggest writing the names and numbers of her nanny friends who she sees, so that you have alternative numbers too would be a way forward

also have you ever accidently not had your phone switched on, or on silent etc?

As a nanny - I would always make sure I had my phone with me - I should be contactable at all times while working.

As a Mum - I couldn't have gone to sleep without knowing how my child was. Even if nanny had collected I would be concerned for my child who was ill enough to warrant leaving school early.

The nanny should of course had her phone on if that was agreed. And as a parent you would be cross if you had to collect your child, or ask a friend to collect for you, because you couldnt contact her. However, even after a long night shift I dont think I could settle until I had spoken to her and checked ds was picked up and o.k. If I couldnt contact her I would automatically pick up ds myself or arrange for somebody else to do it and then have a talk with her after. Im not convinced that people are automatically assuming that the sleep day is a bit of a doss. Surely there is no difference to a day worker working all day and then having to look after a sick child at night? It seems to me that a few people (and certainly not all) think that the ultimate responsibility lies with the parent to ensure the child is o.k particularly if nanny is uncontactable. Reading the ops message again - yes I do think you are unreasonable. Texts often dont arrive - i sometimes get some a day after!!! Its a sick child, not a pint of milk from the shop.

When you got home and they weren't there didn't you ring her/the school again?

When you got home and they weren't there didn't you ring her/the school again?

i DONT THINK ITS YOUR FAULT NAUGHTYMUMMY AND YOU SHOULDNT FEEL BAD. YOU ARE PAYING HER TO BE IN LOCO PARENTIS FOR YOUR CHILD AND SO SHE SHOULD BE AWARE OF WHERE HER PHONE IS AT ALL TIMES.
AS A CHILDMINDER I TAKE MY MINDEES TO PLAYGROUP BUT AM STILL PAID TO BE THERE FOR THEM IN THE EVENT OF SICKNESS OR ACCIDENT, I THINK SHE IS UNPROFESSIONAL.
AS A EX NURSE MYSELF AND SHIFT WORKER IT MAKES ME MAD WHEN PEOPLE ASSUME THAT YOUR SLEEP DAY IS A BIT OF A DOSS...BET THEY COULDNT WORK 48 HOURS STRAIGHT... HAVE A WORD WITH THE NANNY MATE AND LAY DOWN THE LAW...

I thought the nanny had accidently left the phone at home? Anyone can make a mistake. Apart from pointing out that it is important to try and remember I can't see that the nanny warrants any warnings, etc

i appreciate had been working but upon receiving the call didn't you check they were planning to come back?what time did school call you at?really you should have ensured verbal contact and affirmation of pick up from nanny before going to bed

nanny is in wrong.her responsibility is your son.why was she unable to receive this important call.what was she doing that she missed it?

if you went home to sleep didn't you notice the nanny and your ds didn't arrive?

Incedentally, I do not agree with the comments which say it is ultimatel your job and not hers to sort the situation. Whilst the nanny is within her contracted hours, it is surely her job to act on your befhalf in all matters regarding the children -- unless you specify otherwise. Surely, this is what you pay her to do.

Although, if I sent a text and didn't get a response, I probably would not assume she had gotten the message.

Do you provide this phone for the nanny? And has it been made clear to her that you expect her to be avaialble on it whenever she is on duty? If this is her own person mobile phone and she pays the bill, then I don't think she is obligated to be on it for you -- unless you have agrteed otherwise. If you provide this phone for her to use as she sees fit in the course of her job, then she is absolutley in the wrong. And, if this is the case, then I would be even more upset about her relaxed attitude.

Personally, I think a verbal warning / clarification of expectations is in order here. If it happens again, then I'd give a written warning.

But, if you give her a written warning I think you should first explore whether or not you have thoroughly communicated the expectation as I do not think it is fair to give an employee a written warning for something they genuinely did not realise was part of their scope of work.

OOPS somehow i managed to miss the second half of the thread before i posted sorry,i see you have had a word.
I think it would be reasonable to put it in writing if she didnt seem to understand the importance of it.
Its not always possible to have contact though as others have said ,what about if she took your DD swimming or something?Maybe set a period of time and anything over that is not on?

YANBU to be cross that she wasnt contactable but ultimately your child is YOUR responsibility so you should have checked she got the message.
I would definately have a stern word with her.

that's a relief then at least!