God, my au pair/mother's help just kicked my 5 year old!

Of course there are cultural differences between cultures.

But to write off every member of that culture as unsuitable as an employee is a different matter.

Anyway, you won't listen, you are yawning, and you have children to look after. I'll leave you to it.

And, Blu, I want to know if you have had to escort an employee out the door whom you have welcomed into your home as a member of the family/household. Escorting someone out of your place of work is not the same.

However, many people on here and in real life do base their hiring of an au pair / nanny on the success failure of the last one and apply it to their opinion of the last one's nationality.

Kitty was just foolish enough to type it on here.

And, furthermore, I do think this is an interesting debate -- just not the one Kitty intended to have here. How much consideration is it right to give to the stereotypes of the cutural or national background of a potention employee who will be living in your home. This is not a clear issue in my opinion. Do you think that say a Catholic family has no right to seek a Catholic nanny. What about an American one? What if I want to hire a nanny who comes from a German speaking nation? Are these things racist?

I was also, like nappies, assuming that the kick was a tap with the foot. Is there a bruise? Was she hurt? Or is it just her feeligns because her 'servant' dared to retaliate.

You must have had a shitty day KW. It must be awful to know that someone you trusted kicked your child and I would be in bits if I were you.

I am not defending the race remark. I just think kitty could use some support on the original issue, which is why she started this thread. And we seem to have lost that topic.

Seems a shame.

In fairness to OP I have heard many people on here talk about Eastern European/ German/ Italian nannies having weird ways or ideas that relate to their cultural background and child rearing and haven't been flamed like this.
I don't think what she said was right either way but wanted to make that point. I also feel that comment was below the belt CVV.

CVV what a pointless and childish comment!

she has too many kids! Stop reproducing.

Athena. I HAVE had toescort employees off the premises, and i have had someone with a duty of care potentially serously harm my child.

I also have a DP who has been escorted off premises from the same kind of discriminatory generalised thinking that Kittywise is continuing t defend / justify.

How dare you tell people to bugger off???

I AM sympathetic over the au pair kicking the child. But that doesn't give carte blanche for the dropping on any other decent perspective.

Gadzooks - I am no troll.

Here's another thought. Why don't we stone the troll?

HERE'S an idea. WHy doesnt Kitty stop having kids she can't look after without having to pay someone?

I suggest you look up the Race Relations act.

And whether, in an industrial situation 'I have decided not to employ you because of your cultural background' would hold up in a tribunal, or whether any magazine would accept an ad for a nanny, say, which said 'West Africans need not apply'.

You are applying a generalised stereotype to an individual and using it to to deny them employment.

No, racism isn't, kitty. It's about colour. My mum is Asian (put that in your pipe) but I have my father's very white skin. I am not, for that reason, subjected to racism because my skin is lighter than my equally mixed-race partner's.

I would, incidentally, be furious if my five year old kicked anyone.

Oh no. Kitty, your thread has gone horribly wrong. I just want to say that everyone on here who has never had to fire an au pair / nanny on the spot and escort them out the front door on the same day should bugger off and leave her alone.

Okay, she said something she shouldn't have. But, I've been where she is now and it's a horrible thing to have to do. And I sympathise very much with the day she has had.

As you point out in you latest post kitty, you expressly stated that someone's skin colour would influence their likelihood of employment by you. That's basically all that anyone has a problem with. If you'd said "Asian" or "Afro-Carribean" or "Chinese" then you'd have offended less people

My DP is Asian, too. So put that up your pipe and smoke it.

Hearing your DH - of whatever race - say he would not employ a black person in future - and agreeing with him, IS racist in my book. People who choose not to employ someone because they are black is racism. Even if you insert 'because I have certain assumptions about the way they will have been brought up and therefore about the ay they will follow my rules in my house' into the sentence.

And no-on is 'stalking' Kittywise. She made a comment about not offering employment based on race. People are fully entitled to challenge it.

Only one person said she would Kick your child. In NO WAY would I kick any child - I am sirry that your au pair kicked your dd - it is indefensible, but it doesn't make it OK for your dd to be kicking people, either. That's not 'demonising' - I bet if you started a thread saying 'my 5 year old repeatedly kicks people who brush her hair' you would be met with people urging you tohelp her to stop it. I would be ashamed if my 5 yo repeatedly kicked a carer - however much they disliked her.

oh fgs, does anyone else think that the kicking of the child was more than likely a tiny almost imperceptible tap with the foot done because the ap had threatened to do it back? i SERIOUSLY doubt this woman, who wants to work with children would actually hurt a 5yo.
i can well picture a 5yo (mine included) feeling strongly that their rights have been infringed, demanding an apology and making out it was more of a 'kick' than it was.