Childminder let me down by text!

The only time I text my parents is when I send them funny little comments their DS/DD has made during thre day (they love it when I do this!) - imo texts are not for general business use, but many people think it acceptable to text for all kinds of things sadly.

Ok the text thing is out of order no question but some people would be extremly gratefull to have someone care for their children as she does yours . Seriously they would think she was the best thing going . How lovely to have someone who is not family looking after your kids and treating them the same as her own . Your husband should seriously wind his neck in and say thank you to her for doing such a good job with his children .

I think you need to arrange a time to sit and talk with her. Tell her your concerns, and see what happens. I wouldn't be happy with this arrangement, although it does sound as though she adores the kids, and keeps them all happy. She just doesn't sound very professional and perhaps this needs to be addressed for you to feel more comfortable, and to avoid this sort of thing happening again.

I wouldnt text my parents if I couldnt work, although they do text me to say the kids aren't coming in because ill or whatever, and I have no problem with them doing this. It is quicker and easier to text with kids around. But I wouldn't do it, if I couldn't work short notice I would always phone, and also offer to arrange back up cover.

all you need to say to your cm is not to buy them comics/sweets

and to make suer that if she goes out then she is back at the agreed time

pippy, yes i can see that would be extremly annoying her not being there at pick up time,thats really not on. like you say its the end of a long day and for you and DH too. and also returning your dcs at 7pm is also a bit out of order if no notice is given!
the sweets/treats thing i think maybe dh is a tad jealous?!

i have to say though,despite what ive said previously...... i would have expected a call or at the least a text from her by now and would be a bit pissed off,unless of course she has a valid reason.

Smeeinit we shall have to agree to disagree.

The fact that her CM treats the children as part of the family (which of course can be a good thing) is completely separate from her CM messing her about in this way. It sounds to me like the CM is almost too familiar and treating the arrangement as a social favour. It's irrespective as to whether she will be paid for the day she takes off today,the OP is paying her generally to care for the children in a professional capacity. And this sort of behaviour and disrespectful communication is IMO very UNprofessional.

I would let her know that it is not helpful for her to take time off work when you need to be at work and working. That if it happens again you may have to have meetings at work with your boss, this could result in you lossing your job. You understand that she wants to visit her aunt, but can she arrange this with you at a time to suit both of you, then you can be supportive when she needs you to be.

I'm not a fan of using text messages in a professional capasity.

yes my mb texts me over stuff as i do to her BUT if it was something as important as me not being able to go in, or her child has gone to hospital etc, then I would call, just as she calls if she wants to ask me to work later

its just common sense and being professional

agree unwell doesnt mean dying

sidge,where has the op said she is paying her cm for the day off?

"And as for texting is the new talking - maybe so amongst friends but not in a professional capacity."

the op has said that her cm treats her children like part of the family so i would assume they are friendly enough for her to text,wouldnt you?

i shall agree to disagree with you sidge as in my view pippy should be gratefull she has a cm that loves her dc's enough to treat them as part of her family.

Agree with sidge. Also, my CM has a cover childminder in place should she fall ill and need the day off. Perhaps this is something the OP and her CM could arrange for the future?

She is totally being messed around!

If I texted this: "Hi I'm gonna have to miss tomorrow as I'm away vistin my aunt in hospital she's unwell sorry to inconvience you. As usual on monday" to my employer they'd have me up in front of them! (Yes I know CM aren't employees but the principle is the same)

She is being paid for and is contracted to work caring for the OPs children - you can't just text to say sorry, can't do tomorrow, see you next week. It's not like they're arranging to meet for a coffee, she's caring for her children so the OP can work!

I think it's disrespectful and unprofessional, and if it really is an emergency then the CM should have the grace (and bollocks) to speak to the OP directly.

And as for texting is the new talking - maybe so amongst friends but not in a professional capacity.

Has she been hitherto reliable? Is this out of character?

If you have no "back-up" and your only option when stuff like this happens is for one of you to stay off work, then maybe you are better off with a nursery type setting.

Yes but the tone of the text, i.e. using the word "unwell" implies that it is not life threatening although of course she could just be playing it down.

I also feel that "inconvenience" is not the right word to use. Its like when your plane is delayed for 3 hours and they say "Sorry for any inconvenience that you may have occurred", makes me want to go and punch the air hostess.

What the CM is doing is effectively breaking her contract. Presumably she has written in there how much notice she will give before taking time off unless it is an emergency.

This may be an emergency but OP won't know this until she is able to speak to CM. Also I just feel that CM should have worded her text a bit more apologetically.

I'm sure you will tell me I'm being ridiculous and woman is stressed due to her aunt etc. etc. but any sensible business person would want to mimize the impact of their personal life on their clients, and should understand that for a working parent to have to take a day off with no notice is not a great thing to happen

well if the auntie is in hospital she wont be allowed her phone especially if monitors ect. And yes i have had to take time off due to cm being off, its the pleasure of having kids

sidge,no im definatly not joking.
and i also dont think the op has been messed around.
texting i dont see as a problem,text is the new talk!
cms aunt is in hospital unwell so she can not work tomorrow.
hows that being messed around?

You must have very understanding employers then lisad123 if they wouldn't mind you taking an additional day off after being off for 4 days with no notice ( sorry OP not trying to rub it in honest !)

Yes she could be but doesn't the parent deserve a proper conversation and explanation as to why the CM can't have the children?

Texting is fine for routine, trivial things but in this case a phone call (or at least having the decency to answer your phone) is the least she could do.

sorry but you dont know the full story for all you know her poor auntie could eb dying CM are allowed holiday you know and most dont take the full amount needed. I wouldnt have a problem if my CM texted me at all.

Smeeinit - are you joking? Do you really think it's appropriate for a CM to mess a parent around like this, with no proper communication?

And until the OP clarifies her husband's concerns it could be something or nothing.

as a CM myself i have to say im very glad none of my mindees parents are like you and your DH.
your cm does too much? wtf?
if i was her i would give YOU notice and find someone who appreciates her

Oh sorry I see you have tried to phone her. I would text her and tell her you need to speak to her urgently as you have no child care for tomorrow. At the very least she may know another C/M that can cover.

Agree with popperdoodles. If she hasn't done anything like this before then it could be a genuine emergency. Also your view is quite naturally clouded by the fact that you have already had to take time off work.

I would ring her and tell her you are not happy and that it is going to leave you in a very difficult situation and see what her response is.