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Original poster

Au Pair Experts-Over here please......

65 replies

whooosh · 05/10/2008 22:11

Been looking for an Au Pair since nanny left in the Summer (actually loving have the house to ourselves so been a bit slack about it).Out of the blue,managed to interview a Romanian girl,already in the country,on Saturday.
Have offered her the job and she has accepted-ariving Tue PM.
A couple of questions.....

Other than a bunch of flowers,a bit of local inof etc-waht should we have ready for her?

Secondly,we are off on holiday for a week from 14th Ocotber-big risk leaving new AP in the house so soon after joining us I know-but should we pay her a full weeks salary? SHe is starting pre-our holiday at her request as she couldn't afford her rent where she is now.

Should we leave her at all?

She seems really sweet and appears to have had a pretty rough time since being in the UK but we do only have one side of the story.....can you tell I am nervous????

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ingles2 · 07/10/2008 11:21

I agree with MP. Good luck Whooosh

Issy · 07/10/2008 11:04

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mummypoppins · 07/10/2008 11:00

well issy it just shows you cant generalise........I think on the whole though the old european countries tend to be safer than the newer ones as it were!

Good luck whoosh and keep us posted

mummypoppins · 07/10/2008 10:56

the best drivers I had were Germans as well and when we go back to an au pair I will stick with them or swedish as I understand they have very strict driving tests too.

I had a hungarian girl once who assured me that she was a competrent driver and had been driving every day for 7 years.

The local BSM instructor took her out for 2 hours and couldnt even say that she was in control of the car. He said absolutley not was she safe to drive in the UK. Even DH who sat with her and is very laid back about most things was as white as a sheet when he went out with her and said she would have a major smash within days.She went home after 2 weeks.

Dont do it Whoosh unless you are absolutely happy with her driving. Its not worth it.

Issy · 07/10/2008 10:54

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Original poster
whooosh · 07/10/2008 10:48

No she is in Greenford now-due to arrive here at 1pm.

My problem is that following my accident I have a real problem even talking about safety in cars etc and get into a right state so I can't call her.

I have emailed her explaining the situation saying we would still like her to come but she will only be able to stay if a driving instructor feels she is safe and competent.I have left the decision with her.

She wouldn't need to do that much driving-some on country lanes but maybe once a week on the A1(M) for a couple of junctions.
It really doesn't matter how often it is though does it?

An accidnet could happen yards from the door....

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ingles2 · 07/10/2008 10:37

Actually is she in Kent? Whereabouts? I am too

ingles2 · 07/10/2008 10:36

Why not phone her and ask about the driving. How she feels she is, what she thinks her problems are.
How much driving do you need her to do exactly?
You could always pay for a driving instructor where she is, to take her out for an hour and report back?

Original poster
whooosh · 07/10/2008 10:31

....and to think I was only worried when I checked her reference,about how she was with children and if she was trustworthy.
When I asked the driving question I really didn't expect it to be a problem

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Original poster
whooosh · 07/10/2008 10:28

I think you are right!

So.......do I ring and stop her coming and explain about her reference or do I let her come and be assessed?

I am so worried about this aspect but also don't want to let her down......Oh I really don't knwo what to do!!!

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Issy · 07/10/2008 10:27

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This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at OP's request

ingles2 · 07/10/2008 10:13

Poor you Whooosh....
Am going to stick my neck out and say that I think this is going to be a problem. Sorry.
How old is she? How long has she been driving for? the other thing is she may have had a licence for a couple of years, but only driven a little bit.
The best drivers I've had have been German.
Good luck W x

Original poster
whooosh · 07/10/2008 10:05

Oh Ingles2 thank you so much for this advice.I have a real problem with it as I had a very serious accident 2yrs ago which led me to give up "corporate life".I am terrible in a car now-especially as a passenger.
Will arrange an assessment asap and then get DP to take her out when she returns from South Africa.

Lady I spoke to yesterday was in a similar situation as you-rural and she said that AP couldn't get to grips with single track roads and reversing.Also said she shot forward up a pavement once and got a flat tyre immediately.

God-the more I write this down,the more I am beginnign to panic.....

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ingles2 · 07/10/2008 09:58

Whoosh...just got to pitch in here... IME Romanian driving is a problem. We had a very lovely girl come to us from another family (via an agency btw). She complained they were working her too hard and not paying enough. It was never clarified but thought we'd give her a go as we were desperate. We made it very clear we needed a good driver as we are rural. When I picked her up, the family seemed really nice but their parting words were "don't let her drive"
Turns out her driving was so bad they were paying for her to have intensive driving lessons. She'd had loads...
Her driving was appalling! Our instructor took her out, came back as white as a sheet and said never in a million years would I let her drive your kids. She had to go, which was a terrible shame as she was really a lovely girl. Romanian driving tests are nothing like UK ones, their driving is at a completely different level. Please be very very sure before you let her do any driving.

Original poster
whooosh · 07/10/2008 09:48

Am feeling terribly twitchy-think it is the thought of having someone in "my space" again.HAs been lovely in a way without anyone since July.

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Original poster
whooosh · 06/10/2008 20:04

Thanks Badpups-am on it.

Well "Maureen",bless her,didn't have a hint of an accent and says she has had "loads of AW pairs"

She described to a tee the negative aspects I had though of in this girl but said that the only problem she had with her was her driving.

Admittedly,she won't be doing a lot for us but I do need someone safe so will be investing in some driving lessons/assessment.

Well she arrives tomorrow-DP is on business in South Africa,I have bought toiletries,flowers and a bar of chocolate from DD,printed out house rules,daily schedule etc and am now hitting the vodka!

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Badpups · 06/10/2008 16:31

Hi Whooosh,
Re. BR3 form. I phoned the immigration service and they told me that although she could enter the country without any problems (as Romania now part of EU) she should have filled in the BR3 form before leaving Romania. I was told that she definitely needed the worker accession card in order to stay in the country as an AP.
However, my AP seemed completely unaware of this fact and said that the AP agency she had registered with in Romania hadn't mentioned this at all so I suspect that many Romanian APs are here without the necessary paperwork.

BTW this is not why she left us. She completed the BR3 form and I wrote a letter to the Border and Immigration Service explaining why she had not applied before. The paperwork took about 6 weeks to come through.

HarrietTheSpy · 06/10/2008 15:54

Let us know how it goes. I am probably about to hire an ap. She is coming over to us for a few days as a trial, as I am too nervous to take her on sight unseen. Have asked for references which for childcare are pretty informal - and I'm thinking what else I should insist on. Proof that she's enrolled in the university she says she is???

Original poster
whooosh · 06/10/2008 13:30

Well I am not expecting a glowing reference as she was there such a short time and didn't sound like she was happy-but I hope Maureen doesn't have a very deep voice and a strangely familiar accent!

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QuintessenceOfFrankenShadow · 06/10/2008 13:24

I didnt hire that one.

I sent her an email saying "I am sorry we will not be offering you this position as sadly your reference was not very good".

I suspect it was her boyfriends number she provided.

Original poster
whooosh · 06/10/2008 13:21

I know......you are not helping

Are you still happy with your AP?

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QuintessenceOfFrankenShadow · 06/10/2008 13:12

Or Maureen will turn out to be your nannys friend.

One of the aupairs we interviewed was more than happy to provide a reference. Only thing is, he got the ages and amount of children she had been looking after totally wrong, so he couldnt have been the father in the family, then...

Original poster
whooosh · 06/10/2008 13:09

Been trying to call Maureen all morning-she's obviously out shopping or summat

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Original poster
whooosh · 06/10/2008 11:23

Oh and she says she doesn't need the BR3 form until she has been her 3 months

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marmadukescarlet · 06/10/2008 11:20

OOHH with that code they live near me!

Good luck.