My nanny eats nothing.....

i think it is probably that
a)you don't have food that she would normally choose to have for lunch
and
b) she doesn't feel comfortable eating when she feels she should be working

Why don't you say to her that you would rather ds didn't eat alone and could she start having a snack to eat alongside him (and you be far too busy doing something else to be there). It sounds like she just picks all day. You could ask her for some suggestions and get the food in for her?

Or maybe ask her to prepare a lunch for ds and herself on the grounds of extending his cultural awareness?

Im a nanny, I don't eat lunch at my work especially if mb/db are there. I don't really no why maybe its because i feel that the food isnt really mine even tho they said when i started i could eat lunch there. Another reason is they don't really have the same food that i eat and i wouldnt want to ask them to get anything special. I do eat the odd biscuit etc tho. If it was just she didnt eat anything i would just leave her be and let her get on with it, I for one would hate it if someone made me some food and I had already said i didnt want any. I think it is very strange that she is taking food off your childs plate tho, are you positive she is doing that? If so are your sure it isnt that she is just leaving the left overs after he has finished?

I don't really like eating in front of people, I prefer to eat alone with my charge or just to wait until I'm downstairs in my flat.
I think I have a mental block that makes me think people will look at me when I'm eating as I'm a (ahem) 'larger lady' its just one of those things.

like mugglewump I've never really been in a situation that needs me to explain.
but I will stick my head in the cupboard/fridge and nibble on a biscuit or babybel sometimes not in a sneaky way, but because I'm normally too busy so I just grab and go!

I also hate people watching me cook, I cook my BF a home cooked meal every night but I prefer him to busy himself doing something else rather than hanging around my kitchen freaking me out lol

agree with those who said this is either a cultural thing (and you have bent over backwards to explain that you want her to feel relaxed so not much more you can do) or she has issues with food. you dont say what nationality but i think you said she speaks your husband's language, is it a cultural issue he might know about it?
if it is some kind of mild eating disorder she will be mortified if you tackle her on it and will probably lie, so i would be inclined to steer clear of it. technically speaking if it doesnt affect the way she does her job it is not your business as an employer.
the only thing that would worry me is when your ds is older, would any issues she has with food rub off on him? so i would keep a careful eye on how she acts with him when she is feeding him or what she says to him about food. but otherwise, i think you just have to let and let live. although you are a nice caring employer for worrying about it!

Maybe its a cultural thing in that she only eats food of her culture?
My best friend's parents were like this.... it wasn't until his father was in his 70s that he decided to see what he was missing and try english (and lots of other types) of food

She sounds really nice, and it sounds like you get on well- perhaps just approach it with her if the time seems right?
Maybe one day you could ask her to prepare lunch, something she is accustomed to eating, so that she would feel able to eat with you.

does seem very strange, maybe it is a cultral thing

maybe she is shy and doesnt want to eat infront of you, so prehaps suggest she has lunch when child is in bed, and you could be in other room so she is alone and can eat in peace?

have to say I couldnt NOT eat all day, i have breakie with kids(and mb and db if there) and eat lunch with kids

all you can do is either leave her to steal from your childs plate or fill up fridge with what she does nibble on?

Interesting - I have just discovered that our new nanny does not eat lunch either. I would like her to eat lunch with the boys so that they get the "family" atmosphere of a meal each day, but I had not considered an eating paranoia.

I have managed to engineer a day off and a day working from home in the next fortnight so I will try and have a word with her then.

The reason I say it, is that my BIL has a chinese nanny for the same reason as you, his wife is chinese and they want DS to learn chinese and feel this will help.

She is very subservient. We went to visit for a few weeks (in usa) and made some tea for us all, and she would not drink it, she would not eat, would not allow us to do anything at all, if I spilled something, she cleaned it up (she even insisted on feeding DD and changing her nappy for us, lovely!)

When I mentioned it to BIL, he said 'oh no she wont eat/drink anything here, she is here to work' not his attitude, her attitude as part of her culture - I just wondered if it might be similar to your nanny?

If I see food that I think I'd like I'll pick at it, doesn't always mean I'm hungry. I cook for the children all the time, eat mine, and still pick at theirs after! And I was a nightmare when I waitressed, could eat before I went to work and still crave the desserts just because I was seeing others eat them!

No idea, I think mine stems from my school days. I used to have school dinners at Upper school and got stressy if my fingers got greasy from eating chips with my fingers , ever since then I've been a bit weird about it!

I do think it's quite common to not eat between 7.30 and 6 tbh, I would imagine few working mums for example have time to eat breakfast, and lunch tends to get forgotten if you're busy.

could it be a cultural? With you as her boss, feeling that she cannot accept something from you as she is 'working', but being hungry all the same?

I don't like eating in front of people either but I also don't eat breakfast or lunch, I haven't for years.
I'm never in a situation where I have to explain it though so it's OK for me but I can see people thinking I'm weird or have an eating disorder if I suddenly had to tell people.
It sonds like your nanny just doesn't want to be seen eating. I'd just let her know she can help herself to whatever you decide on and then let her get on with it when you're not around

I can't eat in front of others, I feel as if they are staring. What about making your meal, plate hers up give it to her and then you and ds go do something for 5/10 mins, and then you and ds eating yours, OR, you could do it the other way around to of course
Mind you, I hate so many different types of food that I would also hate it if someone dished me food up and wanted me to eat it if I didn't like the food.

But I will talk about it if someone asks me, I've kinda realised it's not 'normal'!

Oh I'm fine talking about food, and have got to a stage where I can eat comfortably with certain people, can go out for a meal with some family and some friends, mainly those I'm closest to.

But put me on a train for example, or at a not-so-close friend's house, and I just can't do it

makes work nights out a nightmare, and I tend to avoid the meal bit and meet them later if I can

I don't like eating in front of people. I don't usually eat at work all day, unless th eothers all leave the office at the same time, in which case I will.

I don't have an eating disorder, I just have issues in general but I guess it comes across as the same as your nanny does, as being sneaky about it.

Have a word with her. It's very odd behaviour.