Hubby says we need an au pair and I don't know where to start!

oh btw, sorry i was sharp earlier. i assumed from the wording of the thread title that he had decided it was your job to find one!

well perhaps "easily" is not the right word! but combining childcare and some basic housework is far from impossible.

nannynick, most mothers manage both quite easily. isn't it fairer to say that most nannies are unwilling to do housework?

Housework and childcare are two different things, finding someone who is good at both is next to impossible.

If you need a cleaner, get a cleaner.
If you need childcare, get a nanny.
If you want to help a young foreign person learn English language and English customs, then get an au-pair. In return they may do some washing up, ironing, and may entertain your children for an hour or so if you are lucky.

INMGBSLM - Work out why you need an au-pair, what tasks you want them to do. Then see if that is something an au-pair would actually do, or if you are better off getting someone else in for a few hours to do one thing - such as having a cleaner come in for 3 hours or so once a week.

My Hubby thinks we will need one when number 3 arrives but I'm just not sure about sharing my home. It's the evenings that worry me - I just want to be able to ootle about and not worry about someone else being there.

I also know what I'm like (particularly after childbirth) - I'd put pressure on myself to make all mealtimes great (no frozen pie and chips), I know it sounds silly but I worry it would add to my stress rather than alliviate it IYSWIM.

What I would love is a lady (like my Mum) who could come in every day from 1-6 and help with cleaning and childcare, look after the little ones when I get DS from school, look after them while I make tea.... Where do I find this fantasy lady????

Sorry MamaG - this doesn't answer your question at all!!

I'mnotMamaG... tell him to look on mumsnet - everything you need to know about hiring au pairs is here!

We supply a car because we are in a village with a not-so-frequent bus service to nearest town. If you live in a town with good public transport then there would be no need to supply a car.
The phone we supplied was about £20 from tesco. We pay £10 credit per month and she has to buy any extra top-ups. (It is mainly so we can keep in touch with each other during the day).
Can things like Direct Payments be used to pay for anything? ie. Au pairs.
The 'skills' of au pairs vary tremendously - some are teenagers who have a little babysitting experience. Our current au pair is midway through a teaching degree and has 18months experience of working in a kindergarten so would be fine left with younger children (happy to change nappies etc). She has much the same experience as the 20-something UK citizen who I employ as a nanny!

I think that there is a mumsnetter with a disabled child who has an au pair to help out - but will have to check their name (quite a long name I seem to remember)

hubby says we need an au pair.

hubby gets off arse and organises au pair? how about that?

A very good friend of ours has an au pair who helps with her disabled son. She is an au pair plus and does 30 hrs pwk, for £120. She is fantastic. From what I've seen on the threads on here, though, I'm convinced our friend is uncommonly lucky in terms of dedication, maturity levels, etc. I don't mean to be unnecesarily pessimistic - but you may have a period of trial and error as she did, getting the right person on board.

We've had loads of aupairs and none of them have used the car. We have amenities within walking distance and good public transport. We also provide a bicycle. We don't give any perks - just pocket money.

I think you would need a very special person for your situation, but I have certainly seen aupairs who have specifically said they are interested in caring for disabled children.

One of the problems with aupairs is that they are very unofficial, so don't seem to trigger any kind of funding - tax breaks on childcare, etc.

What SqueakyPop says

I recommend having as clear an idea as you can about the au pairs job description before you put a profile on au pair world.. and be prepared for a high proportion of applications from au pairs who fit none of your criteria (some just contact the first 20 active profiles or something).

Riven,
Cost - from £60 pocket money for 25 hours max (but you can get european 'au pairs' who will work 30-35 hours for up to £95 per week). Plus food and board obviously plus perks such as UK mobile phone, use of car (sometimes necessary rather than a perk), gym membership, young person's railcard.
They do live-in
What will they do - shared charge supervision of younger children (under 3), short periods of sole charge supervision of older children (ie. school age), light cleaning (hoovering, dusting, not bathroom cleaning), ironing, school runs
Disabled children - some will - some won't - as SP said there is a check box for this on aupair world.

In aupairworld, there is a checkbox for willingness to work with disabled children.

They usually live-in, and you pay around £70 per week.

Put together a description of your family/house/neighbourhood, and decide what you want your au pair to do.

Then go over to Aupair World and have a look at some profiles of girls to see if you are inspired. If you think this is a good way to find an aupair, then set up a profile and see who is interested in you.

The alternative way is to go through an agency.