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Original poster

Activities for nanny with toddler and new baby

67 replies

Uwila · 16/02/2005 09:35

I have a nanny who looks after my toddler (who will be 2 yrs old in March). Last night we discussed a bit about how their days will change when number 2 comes along at the end of May. They currently go to Tumble Tots, Swimming lessons, and Jo Jingles. Nanny feels that she can not do this with a baby and a toddler and has requested that they give up activities until DD (the toddler) is old enough to go to these activities without parent/carer assistance.

I wonder if any one else has a full time nanny with similar ages. Have you found any activities that are suitable for them both to go to where nanny can actually look after two at once? Or do they stay home all day? I don't really like the idea of them staying home all day because nanny isn't very good at communicating with me what they have done. So, when they are signed up for activities at least I can keep up with what activities they are doing some of the time. I've thought that local toddler groups would be a possibility. But, I really would like DD to have a more physical activity (i.e. gymnastics).

I am also submitting a petition to work for flexible working where I can have Fridays off. So I may be able to pick up at least one activity with toddler on Fridays.

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Ameriscot2005 · 17/02/2005 07:04

But a nanny should be able to cope with more than one child, right?

goreousgirl · 16/02/2005 21:11

Uwila - if you go for the first two months with her - maybe the Nanny will build up the confidence to go on her own with them once she know how the land lies? I kind of understand her position - I've been nowhere since my ds (9mo) was born - cos' I'm a wimp - but if someone 'started me off' I might be a bit more confident. Maybe she is just ultra consciencous, and is just worried that she won't be able to cope? Best of luck - I feel for you!

majorstress · 16/02/2005 21:08

I mean, after the 20 minute lesson on saturday with the instructor, she wants to swim more "freestyle"-at the moment dh puts float vess on both (age 2 and 4) and they go while I cheer from the side and hold the towels.

majorstress · 16/02/2005 21:01

oh and even though dd1 is in school and takes real lessons (without parent in pool), it will be years before I would dream of having her swim without a carer in the pool, and it's not allowed either.

majorstress · 16/02/2005 20:58

When my dd2 came, dd1 was 2 years and 4 months. I took a lot of care to make sure that nothing changed drastically for dd1, and so far they still love each other 2 years on. I think you are right to think this out now, and get dd settled into her routine whatever it will be soon-if she really loves those activities, suddenly stopping them might be squarely blamed by her on the newcomer, who is already monpolising mummy as well!. This was a good age for my dd1 to get her sib, so I hope you are as lucky. She LOVED showing her baby off.

Now I've read most of this thread, I think nanny is being a little wimpy, but probably one or two activities is enough-you should discuss this issue with the people running these things, so you can say, see, everyone else brings their baby. She might be thinking of the younger babies needs and not want his feeds/sleeps disrupted. The swimming pool we used officially didn't approve of babies at the side, but it depended who was on duty and some did bring them- you need to see it yourself at the actual time, or enlist a spy. And what about baby? Mine went to Aquababies from a few weeks (mainly on Sat with me and DH) and loved it. There are also very supportive float thingies that you can park either of them in for a while, but still need two adults I'm afraid-but maybe you could hire an additional person, maybe someone training in lifesaving, or even a swim instructor, for a half hour? just an idea

expatkat · 16/02/2005 18:46

Under-fives library groups and drop-in centres? Get in touch with your council and find out about local children's groups. Are you in a Sure Start catchment area? They do loads of things, too. Your health clinic might advertise things for small children in your area--check there.

As for the communication issue between you and the nanny. I remember from another thread that she's unwilling to write a journal of activities, which I suppose is her prerogative. But what about a 5-minute chat during takeover. I ask a few v. brief, key questions, "Did they eat well? Were they naughty? " and I get the answer to those questions and then I take over and nanny is finished for the day.

jane313 · 16/02/2005 18:14

I meant swmimming with all the family when the baby came, your pregnancy wouldn't stop you nanny going swimming with your daughter. Its one of the things I really enjoy doing together.

collision · 16/02/2005 17:20

I havent had time to read the other posts but your nanny doesnt sound very capable if you ask me! I was a nanny and had twins and a 14month old and did everything! Maybe not swimming but TT is fine and storytime at library and toddler groups would be OK too.

Why on earth would she want to stay home all the time? Especially if you are there as well. (I used to hate maternity leave when employer was there as well as I didnt think I could sit and drink coffee and watch This Morning without feeling guilty!!)

Original poster
Uwila · 16/02/2005 17:14

Ah, the double buggy vs. buggyboard debate. I have discussed this with her previously (so it isn't the issue). We are getting a Maclaren Techno Classic. Whilst DS is small enough for nanny to strap him into the Baby Bjorn, DD will go into pushchair. Then when DS gets too big, he will go into pushchair and DD will be evicted around back onto a buggyboard thingy (the buggy board is actually a two step variety so she can either turn round and sit or she can climb up to second step to see over pram. I understand that toddler being able to see over pram is key to them staying on the buggyboard.

Now, in the back of my mind, I realise this plan may be a bit ambitioud for a toddler who will be 26 months when DS comes along. If the plan fails, I will have find a cheap used twin pram on e-bay. I am hoping to avoid this though because nanny doesn't drive, and I couldn't expect her to get onto the train with a twin pram. So, hopefully the buggyboard will work out.

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Ameriscot2005 · 16/02/2005 16:43

I guess one of the issues is that your DD1 will still need to use a stroller, which means that nanny would have to use a double buggy (that alone would put me off multiple activities a week )

What were you planning on doing in terms of strollers? Your DD is right on the edge of getting by without, but not if it involves long walks and energetic actvities.

Maybe your nanny is thinking ahead about this particular practicality.

lisalisa · 16/02/2005 15:56

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Original poster
Uwila · 16/02/2005 15:42

By the way, thank you everyone for your input. I really do want to treat nanny fairly. But, at the same time, my prioroity must be what is best for my children, not what is convenient for my nanny. So this thread is very helpful in sorting out where to draw the line between good for kids and treating nanny fairly.

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Original poster
Uwila · 16/02/2005 15:39

I don't hink it's without adult assistance at all. Just unitl she doesn't have to follow her around tumble tots or get into the pool with her. I'm going to go with what the activitiy leaders tell me. If Jo Jingle write back and say he is welcome, then that's it. Nanny has to go. It is of course in their interest to say yes because if they don't they will have lost a paying customer.

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lisalisa · 16/02/2005 15:20

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Original poster
Uwila · 16/02/2005 15:18

Yes, the problem arises when I return to work, which sadly enough will be 2 not 6 months after the birth. Whilst I am home these things can of course continue.

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lisalisa · 16/02/2005 15:17

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sinclair · 16/02/2005 15:12

Sorry I might be missing something here but won't you be on maternity leave anyway? Or are you talking about what happens when you go back to work leaving nanny in sole charge of them both? (in which case my advice is wait and see as a lot can change in 6 months!!)

elliott · 16/02/2005 15:11

Well, Uwila, you'll just have to do what I suspect most of us do - fit in swimming at the weekends when the whole family can go! I hate the whole pullaver though I have to admit, so we don't manage it as often as we should. Or just one of you go at the weekend? - its nice at the weekend to have one to one time with either baby or toddler.

Ameriscot2005 · 16/02/2005 14:43

A nanny should be able to do all the same thing that a SAHM does, surely?

I remember taking DS1 swimming (baby/toddler classes) with newborn DS2 in his car seat at the side of the pool.

We have lots of nannies at our Parent and Toddler group with a baby and toddler.

soapbox · 16/02/2005 14:41

Uwila - can you not change swimming to Fridays when you are around and you can stay at home with baby while nanny takes DD to swimming?

Original poster
Uwila · 16/02/2005 14:37

I asked the guy at the leisure centre what other parents/carers do, if they bring babies in prams or car seat, and he said "not really". SO, that settles it. No moe swimming

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elliott · 16/02/2005 14:29

I did this too 21C but have to say wouldn't be comfortable letting someone else do it...and I suspect it wouldn't be allowed at the public swimming pool.

21stcenturygirl · 16/02/2005 14:26

Uwila - I used to take dd1 swimming and leave dd2 sleeping in the car seat at the side - about the only time she would sleep . Mind you, the pool was quite a small one in a health club. I did this up until dd2 was six months old.

Original poster
Uwila · 16/02/2005 14:25

Thanks Twiglett. And you are right. It's only a one year break. It won't impair her ability to learn how to swim later. It's just too bad because DD loves swimming.

And, as for weekends, I'm afraid my fat pregnant arse is going no where near a bathing suit -- certainly not in public! Perish the thought!

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Original poster
Uwila · 16/02/2005 14:22

Thanks for the idea fox, but nanny's greatest skill is the time she plays with and educates DD. She is very good at teaching her verbal skills (except that she is learning English with estonian sentence structure). Instead of "What is it?" she says "What it is?" I laugh it off now, but at some point DD does need to learn proper sentance structure.

Anyway, in terms of education and entertainment nanny is really good so that's one area I want to keep her on.

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