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Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Original poster

How is it fair?

181 replies

princessfiona · 03/02/2005 10:14

How is it fair?

  1. To expect someone to work for 10-12 hours a day looking after your children for so little money?

  2. Would you do it for so little money?

  3. Even if they come from a country not as wealthy as UK or USA etc.

  4. Do you think they should have a pay increase?

  5. I know that it is allowed legally to pay under the minimum wage but does it mean that looking after your children is worth so little?

  6. If your daughter went to another country would you want them to be treated in the same way and paid the same?

  7. How much time off do they have? Whole weekends without babysitting?

OP posts:
Snugs · 03/02/2005 16:02

Sorry, but everytime I see the name Princessfiona I can only think of Shrek's wife.

Uwila · 03/02/2005 16:00

Ah, yes CD, priorities, you know. Mumsnet first and foremost.

PF, so let me see if I've got this? You are not new to Mumsnet. You gave up your job outside the home (whatever it was). But, you have come on here today to question working parents for 1- not paying there aupairs and nanny's enough money, and 2- to question the very choice that we are at work... whilst you on the other hand are living up the summer sun in cape town.

Perhaps I was mistaken about your intentions not being malicious. I think maybe you did know full well that you were inciting a riot. SHAME ON YOU.

Original poster
princessfiona · 03/02/2005 15:58

CD sorry I thought I said in past tense

OP posts:
CountessDracula · 03/02/2005 15:56

PF didn't you say you are a mother's help? Surely that is a job.

Uwila, yes, I am stalking you
(nice that we are both working so hard today....)

Original poster
princessfiona · 03/02/2005 15:56

no cos I gave up

OP posts:
Uwila · 03/02/2005 15:52

But when you are home, you have a job outside the home? One where your young children would not be welcomed?

Original poster
princessfiona · 03/02/2005 15:50

At the moment

I am in cape town why?

Staying here on holiday with cousins

OP posts:
Uwila · 03/02/2005 15:49

What do you in your royal kingdom PF?

crunchie · 03/02/2005 15:49

PF I do understand whytyou are asking these questions, but I think the problem here is that most of us who have any experience of hiring nannies/aupairs/mothers helps etc have never treated our employees badly or expected them to work 10 - 12 hour days. This means we find it hard to relate to your questions. Also you may not mean to rile people but simply asking why us working mums work is a bit like a red rag to a bull. In truth some of us would not choose to work, if money was not object (surveys have shown about 70% mothers would only choose to work part time), also we do feel pangs of guilt about our 'choices' sometimes (although this guilt feeling is something that comes out with the placenta and is the bane of all mothers lives, working in our out of the home.

Ask the questions by all means, but most of us maynot have the definative answers.

Personally I work in part becasue I have to, in part because I want to. I also have manged to find a job 10 mins from home, so I am can there quickly if necessary and I can go to all the important school things too.

Like I said I am not angry about you asking, just that you still keep saying WHY I am confused too

Uwila · 03/02/2005 15:47

Hi CD. I see you everywhere today.

CountessDracula · 03/02/2005 15:45

atm as in right now or as in while you have young children (if you do)

Original poster
princessfiona · 03/02/2005 15:44

not working atm

OP posts:
Uwila · 03/02/2005 15:44

It's a warm sunny day is it? Where are you?

PF your comment came with definite suggestions that choosing to work long hours equates to not caring about your kids. For example:

"...but I just don't understand them and why they do it?

Why why why why?

I dont understand why? "

You typed why so many times that at the very least it suggests there can be no reasonable explanation for the behavior. This is why I said:
"Also your comments are coming desperately close to questions my worth as a mother. I answered your questions to help you understand. But, you seem to be saying that my choosing to go to work instead of hanging out with my kids for the day is wrong. You didn't blatantly state that, but it seems to be implied."

vict17 · 03/02/2005 15:43

so you're a working mother?

Original poster
princessfiona · 03/02/2005 15:41

Yes I am a mother too

OP posts:
Original poster
princessfiona · 03/02/2005 15:40

Mothers help work all kinds of hours BUT with the parentrs there but have sole charge

so sort of 7am -7pm but not continuous

A lovely family too, but some are not so lucky

I have lots of au pair friends and they are explioted by being made to work all day not allowed to go to language school, babysitting, etc.

I am classing them the same because people keep getting them muxed up

making au pairs work the same houers as nannies but only paying them au pair wages AND making them have sole charge.

OK I am not allowed to rant here so I am going away again.

BTW I have been here since Oct/Nov 2004 Is that long enough?

OP posts:
aloha · 03/02/2005 15:40

You are expressing an opinion (that women who work aren't good mothers) that is actually pretty insulting IMO. Are you a mother yourself or do you just think up Hallmark card aphorisms?

moondog · 03/02/2005 15:36

pf...it's sunny here too !

vict17 · 03/02/2005 15:34

it;s not warm and sunny here!! where do you live?!!

ladymuck · 03/02/2005 15:34

Where is it a warm sunny day?!
Where are you from PF?

Original poster
princessfiona · 03/02/2005 15:31

uwilla why is it insulting?

I am just expressing an opinion

Why is that wrong or not allowed?

Am really confused now

I just dont understand why? thats all

but if you want to that is your choice of course but please do not get angry

It is a warm sunny day and not a day for anger

smile and the smile will be returned

OP posts:
aloha · 03/02/2005 15:30

Who are you PF and why are you asking these questions? Are you an exploited au pair or what? Why do you assume that all au pairs work 10-12 hour days for no money? Why do you assume they have sole charge of children? What is your experience? Why do you lump nannies and au pairs in the same category when nannies earn well over the minimum wage (in fact you have to earn 40K yourself to pay a typical nanny's wage in London and you would have nothing left for yourself). I have never seen you posting before and you do seem to be posting a lot of gnomic questions without answering any yourself.

vict17 · 03/02/2005 15:29

That's okay PrincessFiona. How many hours do you work a day?

moondog · 03/02/2005 15:28

'you're' actually...
Is that the best you can do?
The woman has a right to speak her mind, as indeed do you without people getting hot under the collar.
I am not remotely offended by the comments directed at me.

Uwila · 03/02/2005 15:26

moondog, go howl at something. (when your done with the chips)