How is it fair?

PF, as a Eastern European you must be used to the idea of working mums. Do you question why women work in your own country? You also must be used to children attending nursery from a young age. Do you question that too? If you do, you probably have all the answers by now.

Then you get on to how you hide computer usage at work. Perhaps some of these working mums are very eficient workers (maybe exactly because they have learnt to juggle everything) and they don't have petty employers either. As long as the job is done why should anyone care what you do with your breaks? There will always be petty employers, whether of working mums or of au-pairs. I hope you also monitor computer usage of SAHMs, I'd hate to think SAHMs neglect their children to get on the computer.

Gee, innocently then talk about not wanting to upset anyone.

Ah well that's good then KM

Auntie is accountant and has been looking at it - but on last years accounts the SB advisor claimed more than she would have done.....so SBA is really good

Can't read all the thread but wanted to say I was an au-pair during my A'Levels in the summer hols 17 years ago. I went to the South of France and lived with a family for four months. I "worked" Monday to Friday 2pm-8pm taking sole charge of children aged 4 & 10, looked after their rooms and clothing. I babysat some nights and I earned £25 per week (!). This is how I viewed my experience:

1. I lived in comfortable surroundings and was made to feel very welcome and definitely part of the family;
2. I experienced French life "on the inside" which I would have never done as a tourist;
3. I tasted delicious home cooked food and even learnt how to cook it myself (have forgotten now);
4. I was helped with my French all the time and corrected all the time which was fantastic;
5. I had the security of a family in an unfamiliar country;
6. Through them I met lots of very nice people;
7. They had dinner parties 3-4 times a week and insisted I join them which was beneficial for my language skills and also a lot of fun.

Because the family were so nice, I also washed and ironed the parents clothes despite being told not to and I would always wash up / stack the dishwasher after their dinner parties much to their amazement. I was aware I was very lucky to be happy there and I didn't take it for granted.
It was a wonderful experience. I went back for 2 weeks at Christmas as a guest and I then returned as their au pair the following summer.

I got alot and I gave back alot too.

Have you looked into having an accountant KM, some people say they almost pay for themselves by showing you other allowances you can have. Hope it gets better soon tho

I work with Dh and should be allowed up to 12 - but planning will only let me have 8 - one of which is my DD so 7,
6 can be under 5.....but as I have said before the hours I have six aren't a problem....it's the hrs I have 1 or 2 (or God forbid none)
The expenses are quite high, but I only claim the allowance the small business adviser lets me claim, my turnover for my first year was about 10K my loss was £800.

So, £1.52 this year is REALLY good

There are advantages of being self employed and working from home tho' (eg 1/3rd electric bill is ofset against the business)

True KM, but then a cm can take up to 6 kids can't they? But £1.52, didn't realise the profit was that low!!

BUT the childminder would also have to pay out for all her expenses before her actual wage was calculated....(so speaks the c/mer who has recently worked her 'wage' out to be £1.52 an hour for a 52.5 hr week )

LOL tanzie, agree that childminders who have only one or two mindees don't get a lot but at least they can choose to increase their income with more kids and/or dictate their own terms rather than being dictated to.

WK - true - maths never was my strong point!

tanzie - only thing about childminders - if they were minding say 3 kids at £3 per hour, they'd be getting £9 an hour whereas an au pair could be looking after 3 kids and still getting under minimum wage.

Agree too with WSK - said pretty much what I was thinking so saved me typing it. In my nannying days (and I was well treated and fairly paid by a family I have every respect for - parents are doctors and worked hard to become them in order to support their family), I knew a few Au pairs who were working much longer hours than they were meant to and IMO were exploited by their employers. It seemed to me they were pretty much doing a job like mine for much less money and that did seem unfair. Not to say anyone on mn would dream of exploiting their au pairs, but just to say that unfortunately it does happen. Have no idea how common it is though - hopefully not very common.

Sorry PF, but with some of your comments here about working mums, I have to say I wasn't surprised at some of the comments you got back. I won't add to them. Uwila and Crunchie's views were the same as mine. I would love to work part time instead of my usual 10 hour days in the office (and before anyone starts, yes, I do come home and cook and clean on top of that) and spend more time with my children. But it is not an option for me a) I am breadwinner and we couldn't survive on what DH earns and b) my employer wouldn't consider it anyway.

I'd hope there is no-one on here who exploits their childcarer in the way you have said. After all this is MUMSNET - if we post on here, it is because, surely, we want the best for our children, the best we can afford.

I know of some childminders in UK who charge GBP 2.50 - 3.00 per hour - that seems pretty low to me as well. Is it fair to expect anyone to work for that age? No, it is not.

pf, I'd be flattered that people are going to the trouble to look up your past stuff! You've obviously caused a stir!
BTW,never understand all this stuff about 'trolls' and the resultant outrage that 'outing' one causes. Again people should be flattered that someone is expending time and energy sparring with them.
Bring 'em on I say!!

well, since you asked i've just done a quick search on you in archived messages - 3 threads, all with similarly gnomic utterances.

if you're not a troll i apologise - if you are, i'm bowing out now so as not to feed you more.

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anyone else thinking...

it lives under bridges and tries to eat billygoats gruff?

That's OK I think personally I hate defending my choice to work, therefore I get riled if someone is suggesting I should be at home, when that is not an option either. It is DH wages that cover the childcare bills, and sometimes it isn't worth him working in a finacial sense, but it is a matter of pride/self worth.

and one of those mums doesn't even work. She cooks a lot and plays golf.

My boss asks me what MN says on a particular subject!!

I am always getting told off, and I go througfh phases of being good - ie no MN - but also when I am bored I am really bad!!

I am sorry if we all took your questions out of context, but wobbly has perhaps explained what you mean and now it makes more sense. I have no idea why people do pay peanuts, although I was always aware I paid less than some, I made sure my nanny was happy. She may get paid more now, but her employers 'tell' her what to do, rather than 'ask' if you would like to IYKWIM

I always said if I could pay her more I would and that if ever she wanted to leave she could, but she didn't. I have seen nannies being expoited but less from a money angle, more that teh empoyers takes the p**s and comes home late without warning and asks for overtime without paying it.