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Original poster

Seriously, how do other mums do it?

36 replies

Cla7 · 17/09/2026 15:25

My son goes to nursery Monday, Weds, Thurs, Fridays. More often than not, nursery calls me around noon on Wednesday to say that he either had a temperature, loose poo or vomited and I have to collect him. We have a 48 hours exclusion policy for sickness so he’s out for the rest of the week. Usually he’s absolutely fine when I collect him and I can’t find any symptoms they said he had. Then some Monday bank holidays and times where he’s actually sick and I keep him home, and he’s basically never really there. I pay 1k per month after funded hours for working parents but I can’t afford it anymore because I’m hardly working. I drastically reduced my hours last winter but was just about to up them again. Do I just give up? I thought about finding a nanny instead but he doesn’t settle with a nanny and when he is at nursery, he’s really happy there, he loves other children. Other nurseries around here have 1 year+ waiting lists and the same sickness policies.

OP posts:
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SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 18/09/2026 06:47

Id look at a different nursery and i'd consider moving him to a Childminder if you can find a good one.

Juniorp · 18/09/2026 06:49

Try a different nursery, some have more anal cultures on potential symptoms than others.

AllHoityToity · 18/09/2026 07:54

She says in her OP that she wouldn’t have to go on a waiting list for a different nursery.

You definitely need to let them know that you are on to them because it does sound very suspicious that it’s a Wednesday and then when you get him home he’s absolutely fine.

WarriorN · 18/09/2026 07:59

Happytaytos · 18/09/2026 06:30

Try another nursery and in the meantime be less avaliable for pick up.
Email the nursery manager with your concerns "I picked up X on the following dates and there was nothing seemingly wrong with him for the next 2 days. Please can you investigate".

and ask them to look at hygiene in the room.

if he’s picking up a bug on Monday it could be coming out on Weds.

Sounds too patterned though.

WarriorN · 18/09/2026 08:02

I’d not pick up if it happens again, citing distance and ask for evidence.

My first did pick up absolutely everything but there wasn’t really a pattern. Had scarlet fever twice, hand foot and mouth etc.

later diagnosed with asthma.

youngest has never ever had a sickness bug but got the rota virus jab. Covid affected him badly age 3 though, whereas eldest had a brief temp aged 10.

both were extended BF. Eldest IUGR.

they’re all different but it’s very hard if one is more prone to bugs.

Morninginesa · 18/09/2026 09:51

WarriorN · 18/09/2026 08:02

I’d not pick up if it happens again, citing distance and ask for evidence.

My first did pick up absolutely everything but there wasn’t really a pattern. Had scarlet fever twice, hand foot and mouth etc.

later diagnosed with asthma.

youngest has never ever had a sickness bug but got the rota virus jab. Covid affected him badly age 3 though, whereas eldest had a brief temp aged 10.

both were extended BF. Eldest IUGR.

they’re all different but it’s very hard if one is more prone to bugs.

I wouldn’t want my child to be somewhere that don’t want him there for whatever reason

ACatInHellsChance · 18/09/2026 10:00

Hmm I mean a similar thing happened to our DC when I first went back to work, he started nursery at 10 months in the autumn and all the way through until well into the spring he was ill CONSTANTLY. It was so difficult. Anyway the difference is though that our little one was clearly visibly unwell every time unfortunately! But if your child is coming out bouncing and happy with no signs of illness then I'd keep meticulous records and speak to the nursery manager.

MixedBananas · 13/10/2026 02:14

I would push back and report to higher ups. It does sound like they picked you and maybe others to be the short atraw when they are having staffing issues. Surely you should be compensated if he is off for days.

Depending on how the report goes I would then look to report to offstead.

SpreadsheetLife · 13/10/2026 04:16

This sounds like an unusual amount of sickness. Are they trying him with Calpol before asking you to collect? My DS started nursery five months ago and we've only been asked to collect him twice (due to vomiting.) He's had a lot of colds and a few temperatures, but they've always come down after a dose of calpol.

Seafront16 · 13/10/2026 04:51

I didn’t qualify for funded hours due to being over the salary limit.

When I told my nursery of choice the days/hours I wanted they said they would guarantee me a place because I was paying more than they received from a funded person.

When DS started there a lot of the funded people stated they’d been offered restricted hours/days and not a totally open choice as I’d had.

It is possible you are facing the same. They will prioritise those who pay full fees. It’s not fair but you can see why they do it.

Blondeshavemorefun · Today 18:35

How is going now @Cla7. Has he been ‘ill’ again

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