Me again! Thinking about telling my newly employed nanny that she can no longer have the job!

I'm in the process of changing nanny job, and my new employer was told, prior to interview and at interview about commitments (such as holiday) I already had, which could not be changed. Despite not being able to start on the date they would have liked, and shortly after starting I would be going on holiday for a week, my new boss decided to interview me anyway, and offer me the job.
They were fortunate in being able to juggle things around such that they could accommodate the start date and cover my holiday. Not all parents are able to do that, so I was lucky in this case. But the key thing I feel is that I made it clear from the start that I would need the time off - I didn't hide that information until I had been offered the job.

Ziopin... if you had known about the required time off, prior to interviewing... would you still have interviewed the nanny?
I feel that given your work situation, you may have decided against interviewing this candidate, as they did not fit your availability requirement.

Ok this is a hard one!! But feel i have to have my say 2!! I am a nanny and agree with some of the things nannyl said. I can't believe you wouldn't employ a nanny just because of 2 weeks holiday, this seems a tad over the top, yep i know she should have mentioned the honeymoon, but at the end of the day it is only 2 weeks, it's not 6 months if you really like her then i am sure you could and would have sorted it out but i'm not sure you really want to!! It's hard being a nanny and having time off, many nannies don't as they don't want to let "their families down" when you are a nanny it's a bit more personnel and we feel we are letting our employers down, whereas on many occasions i have had bosses off, who are supposed to be dieing of the flu, but they are quite happy to spend the day chatting downstairs munching biscuits and gossiping so please think hard, if you clicked with the nanny and really liked her then maybe it's worth sorting those 2 weeks out, have you spoken to her referees as they can be honest with you if she has made a habit of this during her last jobs, gosh i have gone on a bit sorry i do this when i'm tired, just got in from babysitting!! Please let us know what you end up deciding to do!!

I don't think you're being unreasonable Ziopin... that fact she forgot to mention her honeymoon is ridiculous... of course she didn't forget, she was being underhand, in the hope you would find a way round it for her. If you can't find alternative childcare, tell her and she what she offers to do to accomodate you.

Good point - unless you are a teacher or have school aged children yourself, you tend to book holidays in term time when it is cheaper.

Hopefully, as she is looking for a September start, she will find a nanny that has already had her holiday for this year.

just read your other thread - sounds to me that you really need a driver - 4trips on buses a day sounds a nightmare imo

so

maybe you do need to look for another nanny, but stae in yuor ad that you need a driver

i am not saying that your mb would have to have another child for every day for 2 weeks, but I cant beleive she wouldnt want to be able to help another mum

but there we go

Im glad I have a mb who is nice, and would be more than happy for me to have friends child for a few days if nanny was ill - to help out parents, just as she knows if I am ill/cant make it in to work, then I could probably find her 5/6 reliable nannies who could help her out

anyway back to OP - if you really cant see a way round finding other childcare for 2 weeks,then guess you should get rid of her

what happens if you interview another nanny who has a holiday booked, and isnt in the sch hols?

No, my employer wouldn't want me to have someone else's children around for 2 weeks. She employs me to care for her children and to concentrate on them and their routines. She did not want a nanny share situation. Emergency cover for a day maybe but not 2 weeks that far in advance.

And I wouldn't say its unreasonable of her. Her children, her house, her money paying my wagess.

Nannyl - agree that your time off was all reasonable and you sound like you are good employee and your bosses good employers.

Back to the ops post;

Yes it would be great if they could find a solution for this nannies honeymoon. I think that if they were really keen on her they would have done so somehow. But -

You have to remember it from the parents point of view too. Leaving your precious lo with someone new (all the guilt and worry that goes with that) and only 5 or so weeks after nanny has started (and lo has just got used to her) having another 'stranger' come in for a couple of weeks, then this 'stranger' disappears and other nanny comes back. It's a lot for a lo to cope with and the Mum too.

If she has family ie the grandparents (I'm 38 and both my parents still work full time), they may all be working too and if they only get 24 days holiday a year may not want to sacrifice half of it for childcare.

She could be the 1st of her friends to have children so her friends are still out at work. She may have made friends at nct classes, but their babies will be about the same age so it would be a lot for a friend to cope with - 2 small babies everyday for over 2 weeks. I know that I could ask a friend for the odd day's cover but not 2 weeks or so.

"I can't see how it would be that difficult to find another person to care for your child..."

Hmmm...here's hoping that any nanny I might consider employing in the future doesn't see things like that, with no immediate family around whatsoever to help out if the nanny can't make it. And Ziopin is talking about over two weeks that she needs cover. She's supposed to rely on her nanny to find friends to 'fill in randomly' for her?!

My issue with Z's prospective nanny is the disclosure aspect and I also think that she is not obliged to honour an inconvenient request, as other posters have mentioned. I would be quite inclined not to take a risk on this particular person.

is there really no other way/person who can fill in while your nanny is away?

you have got a couple of months to find someone

A good nanny is hard to find and worth millions so if you liked everything else about her and she got on well with your children, then seriously think before you do wothdraw your offer.

I do see where you are coming from, seems very strange that a nanny( or anyone) could forget they are getting married, as I said on your orginal post, I told my mb at interview, that I needed 2 weeks off for wedding the following year,and she was fine although they were going away the week before,so I had nearly a month off PAID - BUT is there any way that she thought her honeymoon would fall in the october half term ( we have 2 weeks )

most nannies have friends who could share the care when she is away, when I was on my honeymoon, I had 2 friends cover for me, as well when I was ill in hospital, 3 more covered for me

nbee84 - i am suprised by your mb not wanting another child in her house all day,oas an emergancy surely if you were ill, she would appreicate her child going to a nanny she knew, rather than your mb take time off work/have a stranger look after her child?

most nannies will try to be flexible - obviously your nanny (to be) wont cancel her honeymoon, but it does seem very extreme not to offer her the job beacuse of this 2 week period

(also im not in a city or even near london!)

i see your pint nbee 4

shouldntbe job hunting for at leas anoterh 2 years anyway

If i did i'd willingly explain at interview WHY i had a fair bit of time off... it was all genuine, ihave nothing to hide and was not fit to work on any of my time of so i dont feel guilty about it

ok i DID feel guilty about having time off after car crash hence it is MY choice that my soilictors as well as claiming for me will claim back all my gross wasgesback to my bosses
(my bosses are adament they dont want it / dont care, but i will ensure they get it anyway.... as far as im concerned it was not my fault my friend crashed us, but not my bosses either so rather than my bosses being 'out of pocket' i might as well get it back from the insurance)

Ok they dont need the money as such either but thats not the point!

Just to add if i was at that interview, yes i would probably have mentioned my honeymoon.

Equally my nanny friend works for teachers who cant have time off but they still let her choose 2 weeks so it can be done....

none of their immediate family live close by either, and i cover for them on my day off (as i will next week when my friend is away) and a set of grnadparents is coming to stay for a couple of nights to help out too

(oh and when i started my previouse job I worked for abput 8 weeks and then had the next 2.5 weeks off... then remained there happily for another 2 years, until youngest started school.... as my old boss put it, she wanted me as their nanny so had to get by for those 2.5 weeks id already booked, and she did )

A to your point about nanny friends filling in - if you work in London you have a big nanny network - some other cities too. Where I work there are very few. It also depends on their employers stance. Whilst my employer would be ok for me to arrange a playdate so that nanny could go to the dentist she would not be happy for me to have someone elses children in her house all day. You are right about part time nanies being able to fill on days off but again this comes down to area and quantity of nannies - if you're in London, great.

NannyL - there are ways to sack someone who has had an unreasonable amount of time off work.
A former company that I worked for had an absence policy - with each absence you had a meeting and would be put on a 'level' - after 3 absences in a 6 month period (be they 1 day or 3 weeks) a level 1 - and with subsequent absences going up to level 4 after which you could be sacked - this is whether you have a doctors certificate or not.

Your reasons for time off were all valid and you have employers that value you. 8 years with no time off is excellent and you obviously had a bad run last year. BUT if you needed to look for a job in the next few months a lot of employers would see those absences and decide that they might not want to risk employing you. Most Mums have a nightmare finding emergency childcare - unless you have local family (that do not work) or unless you have loads of money and can use an agency and have children that would not be severely disrupted by suddenly having a stranger come to take care for them.

And you assume, nannyl, Ziopin would be happy to employ a friend of this nanny - plus she has already said she doesn't want a temp nanny.

Still missing the point nannyl.

Imagine you're looking to employ a builder. The one you quite like will be away for 2 weeks in the middle of the job, leaving you in the shit, and you will have to employ someone else to do the job whilst the builder is away. The nature of the building job is such that it can't be left undone for 2 weeks.

WWYD?

Nobody is saying a nanny having a honeymoon is unreasonable. What 'should' affect Ziopin's decision is up to her and no doubt dictated by her circs (of which we know little) and her budget.

You sound quite angry, as if you have a problem with people who employ nannies. Maybe you have been quite taken advantage of in the past.

Prioritising her potential employee over her responsibilities as a parent and teacher is senseless. There is a difference between the unavoidable - ie sickness, family disasters - and the avoidable - employing someone who comes with a request that is difficult to fulfil.

NannyL, you work for a family who realise you are a person?

NannyL - I'm sure your record is exemplary. But would you pretend you didn't have a couple of weeks off that had already been booked until you'd been offered a job? Or be honest upfront? Because it's strikes me that this is the real issue here

In answer to what woudl i suggest....

well most people have someone else who can help out

grandparenst / friends / aunts / uncles.

Also msot nannies have nanny friends.... Im more than happ to have my nanny friends charges occasionaly if their own nanny cnat make it in due to illness and holidays.

Most of my personal nanny friends work less than 5 days (myself included) soif your nanny has a good network of nanny friends you should probably fnd it quite easy for one of her nanny friends to fill in randomly in their days off (as I do for a few of my nanny friends when they go away. and my bosses could always ask then too)

I know the houses and children and routines of many of my nanny friends charges almost as well as their own nanny (and vice versa) does

I cant see how it could be that difficult to find someone to care for your child for a few days.

If she is otherwise perfect for the job can't you make other arrangements for that 2 week period?

It would be a shame to turn her down if she may - for the rest of her time with you - be perfect for your family. After all she's only ever going to have one honeymoon (hopefully!)

Soap box

until this yeari have never had a day off in my life (8 years) I think my attendnace record is actually fantastic

sorry but i cant work when im throwing up with norovirus, (tbh i found it a huge effort to even pick up the phone next to my bed)

OR when i have just come out of hospital in a car crash where i very nearly broke my neck

Also to add my solicitors will be claiming back all my wages on behalf of my bosses from the guy who crashed me's insurance (which is my decision)

THEY sent me off to the dentist (and im pleased they did)

As for getting rid of me they couldnt....
my bosses could NOT legally get rid of me for being in a car crash, then being signed off by Dr and they were more than happy for me to support my Dad

My mum is manager in her buildig society branch... she has an employee who has been with them about 10 years. In that time she has had over 90 (yes 90) periods of absence.... and almost all of those 90 periods have been longer than a week, even 2 weeks (she gets lots of 'real' 'flu') and they can not legally get rid of her!.... they have looked very hard into it.
(its all backed up with Drs notes etc)

If you asked my bosses about my attendance they would not say anything even slightly negative!
Also my bosses are Drs and would not have even let me come in! In there opinion of a Dr signs you of you do not work, end of.

Maybe the nanny should have mentioned it at interview (hindsite is a great thing) but i still maintian it is NOT unreasonable for a persomon to get married and have a honey moon and you should not let it effect your decision on a choice of nanny

Because your children are your responsibilty, and even if you have a nanny, your nanny is a living human being, and despite best intentions there will be situations when she cant make it in, and as parents its up to you to sort it and have cover) (not your nanny, to worry about it)

nannyL at no point did ziopin say she thought it was 'unreasonable' for her nanny to have a honeymoon!

What she said was despite not having been told this when she should have been, she still did her utmost to be able to accommodate this nanny's (late) request, trying all options for alternative childcare during that time. Ziopin was unable to sort anything out and is therefore not able to give the time off to the nanny.

There is nothing unreasonable about that and there is nothing saying she thinks it's unreasonable of a nanny to get married, have a honeymoon, or any of the things you mention.

It would be the fact that she didn't mention it at interview, that would be bother me... She obviously knew!

nannyl, it htink your post just reaffirms how cushioned some nannies are from the real world of working.

If you had an attendance record such as that in almost any company you would be looking at dismissal or at least a warning.

It therefore stands to reason that anyone employing a nanny with a poor attendance record is putting themselves in a very precarious position with their employers.

What exactly do you think the OP should do while the nanny is off on honeymoon - just not turn up to work?