Page 6 | Hiring a nanny with a drink driving offence

littlelongstockings · 2026-04-02T14:15:31+00:00

I interviewed a lovely nanny yesterday who I liked overall, however she has a DUI on her criminal record from 9 years ago, she is in her 40s so not young. the position will not include driving my child around as she doesn’t currently have a car and isn’t open to using one of our cars, she will transport my child by bus or train. would you employ a nanny with a background offence of DUI?

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

ahemrepeat · 02/04/2026 16:46

Her not having disclosed this when you were on topic talking about driving your car would be the deal breaker for me. I probably wouldn't hire anyway, but I might have considered it if she had voluntarily disclosed and come up with a very good story about how she had now changed.

She's lied to you about why she won't drive your car. You can't hire her.

Pteradon · 02/04/2026 16:45

Probably, tbh.

I mean, should someone with this offence on their DBS never work again?

WheretheFishesareFrightening · 02/04/2026 16:44

BeMellowAquaSquid · 02/04/2026 16:41

How do you realistically know that anyone you trust to look after your child isn’t DUI unless they are caught?

Well you also don’t know that a potential nanny isn’t a child molesterer, but I certainly wouldn’t use that logic and hire a convicted child sex offender to look after my children.

Waitingfordoggo · 02/04/2026 16:44

MrsTerryPratchett · 02/04/2026 15:24

My unfortunate opinion in this is that a lot of people with drink driving offences have them because of their relationship with alcohol, not their relationship with driving. Many many people I used to work with in rehab had them.

The worry isn't the driving, the worry is the drinking.

Yes, exactly this. Surely many people who get caught drink driving have a dependency on alcohol? It’s not the sort of thing that most adults, aged around 30, would do- unless their life is already a bit of a mess.

I’d want to know if she is an alcoholic and if so, how long she has been sober for.

Sarah2891 · 02/04/2026 16:44

Definitely not.

WheretheFishesareFrightening · 02/04/2026 16:43

Kosenrufugirl · 02/04/2026 15:30

The key is it happened 9 years ago.

Show quote history

In her THIRTIES. Does critical thinking ability tend to develop much after you turn 30? I suppose it might be enough time for her relationship with alcohol to improve, but I’m not sure I’d feel happy hiring a recovering addict to look after my children either.

Absolute no from me. If she didn’t have the sense to know not to drive after having a drink, I don’t believe she’d have the sense to know not to look after my children after having a drink.

Fable2024 · 02/04/2026 16:42

BeMellowAquaSquid · 02/04/2026 16:41

How do you realistically know that anyone you trust to look after your child isn’t DUI unless they are caught?

Oh don’t be daft. So what we don’t take seriously a conviction on their dbs because who knows… others could have done that crime but not get caught 🙄

Middletoleft · 02/04/2026 16:42

Fable2024 · 02/04/2026 16:39

I would bet she’s not driving because she since lost her license due to accruing too many points

Edited

Show quote history

The OP can ask but she's not driving for the job in any event.

There's also references from previous employers. I wouldn't hire a nanny without those either.

Fable2024 · 02/04/2026 16:41

littlelongstockings · 02/04/2026 16:32

I did really like her as a person but something makes me lack trust in her, it probably is the DUI that is making me question her but also the fact that she has only ever worked abroad and not here where we live.

Well then it’s dead in the water
a non starter
very unlikely this woman will get hired as a nanny by any family

start looking elsewhere and drop her a line to say you won’t be progressing

BeMellowAquaSquid · 02/04/2026 16:41

How do you realistically know that anyone you trust to look after your child isn’t DUI unless they are caught?

Fable2024 · 02/04/2026 16:40

littlelongstockings · 02/04/2026 16:34

She said she hasn’t got a car at the moment as she only got back from working abroad a month or so ago (she worked abroad this time for about 3 months) she has a husband who she said stayed here as he has a daughter here (believable)

if you are going to progress this (please don’t), then I’d ask for her driving license

and have you checked what employment she was in when she got the dui??

AntiqueBabyLoanSmurf · 02/04/2026 16:39

HungryHungryLandsharks · 02/04/2026 16:25

Absolutely not.

It’s not hard to not drink drive. It takes a particular type of selfishness and irresponsibleness to do that. Why would you trust someone like that around your child?

Yes, this. I can understand something like speeding (not excessively) if, say, you get slightly distracted for a moment, the limit has recently been reduced or similar.

Drink driving is a multi-stage process - it's done deliberately. Even though, after drinking, you lack capacity to make wise decisions, that was something that you should have planned ahead for before making the decision to drink. Plenty of people are perfectly capable of deciding not to drink or booking a taxi in advance for getting home after a celebration.

Of all the people whom you might consider trusting to care for your children, somebody who had chosen to drink and drive would not appear anywhere on most people's shortlists.

Fable2024 · 02/04/2026 16:39

Middletoleft · 02/04/2026 16:38

It was 9 years ago and if she's not driving it shouldn't be an issue. It would depend on how she presented when she met you and her experience.

I would bet she’s not driving because she since lost her license due to accruing too many points

Middletoleft · 02/04/2026 16:38

It was 9 years ago and if she's not driving it shouldn't be an issue. It would depend on how she presented when she met you and her experience.

Original poster

littlelongstockings · 02/04/2026 16:34

She said she hasn’t got a car at the moment as she only got back from working abroad a month or so ago (she worked abroad this time for about 3 months) she has a husband who she said stayed here as he has a daughter here (believable)

OP posts:

Original poster

littlelongstockings · 02/04/2026 16:32

I did really like her as a person but something makes me lack trust in her, it probably is the DUI that is making me question her but also the fact that she has only ever worked abroad and not here where we live.

OP posts:

Villanellesproudmum · 02/04/2026 16:32

Possibly, I’d be hesitant because she didn’t raise it in the interview.

IAmKerplunk · 02/04/2026 16:28

MrsTerryPratchett · 02/04/2026 15:24

My unfortunate opinion in this is that a lot of people with drink driving offences have them because of their relationship with alcohol, not their relationship with driving. Many many people I used to work with in rehab had them.

The worry isn't the driving, the worry is the drinking.

I agree with this.

Plus the fact she didn’t mention it even though it would appear on her checks.
If she had been upfront, full of remorse then maybe I would consider it. Maybe.

HungryHungryLandsharks · 02/04/2026 16:25

Absolutely not.

It’s not hard to not drink drive. It takes a particular type of selfishness and irresponsibleness to do that. Why would you trust someone like that around your child?

PrincessofWells · 02/04/2026 16:22

Yes, possibly depending upon the circumstances and her responses to questions, but then I've worked with prisoners and believe people can be rehabilitated.

Fable2024 · 02/04/2026 16:18

Babyboomtastic · 02/04/2026 15:47

So if, hypothetically, she'd experienced a massive trauma - perhaps leaving an abusive relationship, death of a child etc, and turned to drink and made some very bad decisions, before pulling herself together and getting therapy, that would be a no to you?

Show quote history

No fucking way. I owe her nothing.

I owe my child everything

VinoEsmeralda · 02/04/2026 16:16

This is your most precious person in the world and you are going to give your trust to someone with a dd offence?

You should have brought this up in the interview and found out about the circumstances so you can make an informed decision.

ClaredeBear · 02/04/2026 16:13

Babyboomtastic · 02/04/2026 15:47

So if, hypothetically, she'd experienced a massive trauma - perhaps leaving an abusive relationship, death of a child etc, and turned to drink and made some very bad decisions, before pulling herself together and getting therapy, that would be a no to you?

Show quote history

Id like the people who are better at dealing with trauma to be looking after my children.

dadtoateen · 02/04/2026 16:13

Yes I would employ her based on if she is suitable for the job.

Her past indiscretions should not be the deciding factor.

Everyone makes mistakes in life, after 9 years she has probably learnt her lesson.

TinyCottageGirl · 02/04/2026 16:12

She might not have a problem with alcohol, I work with someone who also got a driving ban for sleeping in their car after a night out. Had a driving ban for 2 years as he had the keys in his hand. Wasn't a good decision but doesn't mean he has a drinking problem by any means, he thought he was doing the right thing.