Page 3 | Inset days

Perfect28 · 2026-03-25T16:40:10+00:00

Two working teacher parents to (luckily) just one child. Child has started school this year and we are finding inset days impossible to manage. 5 per year, usual wraparound childcare is closed on insets as they mirror the school. No family less than 300 miles away, my mum has come up twice now but she won't be able to come up 5 times a year for the next however many years. As we are teachers working from home or requesting annual leave is impossible. We can take parental leave but that has to be in blocks of one week at a time so not helpful here. Just posting in case someone has any grand ideas or suggestions I've not yet mentioned. Otherwise I guess it will have to be sick days? Not hugely helpful when I'm already managing chronic illness. Anyone?

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WannabeMathematician · 01/04/2026 06:22

Perfect28 · 26/03/2026 17:37

I'm curious, do all the people who are suggesting play dates really think it's fine to leave a 5 year old child at a friend's house for 8 hours? Do you not think that puts a lot of pressure on them, the parents and the other child?

We do have playdates and I do my best to socialise even though it's incredibly challenging as a working parent, but these are usually both parents present and for a maximum of 2/3 hours. After that they start winding each other up etc.

As I said I can see how this would be a good solution for an older child, maybe 7/8 plus? But for just turned 5 it seems an awful lot to ask.

That's before considering my child is also autistic, quite particular and rigid in his play etc. and can find other children challenging (as I'm sure they also find him!).

I'm not using autism as an excuse, it is really interesting to me how many people completely disregard it. Socialising and communicating is really difficult for me. I do my best, I mask all day and I do really try to get to know other parents etc but ultimately there's only so many hours in a day and so much energy in my battery. Trying to keep on top of seeing my own friends, relationship, home and work already feels like a monumental juggle.

I apologise if my OP was unclear. Nothing like posting on mumsnet to realize your communication is lacking 🤣

Absolutely yes! I regularly take my kids best friend for inset days. I did two on the trot this term. Crucially the family “swap” days either at term time weekends or of days where school finish on the Thursday and then they have my son on the Friday. It’s so useful!

planestrains · 01/04/2026 06:18

Perfect28 · 25/03/2026 18:19

There are no childminders in the area, babysitters definitely would be an option but how do I find a babysitter who can do an 8 hour day? I thought babysitting was an evening thing. I also wouldn't leave him with just any random person, obviously.

Recommended websites would be appreciated!

In my local area there is a Facebook page for Nannies, Childminders and Babysitters where you can post and see if there is anyone who would offer this sort of provision for odd days (and then of course you would vet them). There is also childcare.co.uk which you could use to find suitable providers.

Original poster

Perfect28 · 01/04/2026 06:14

Tippexy · 01/04/2026 05:05

The OP and her partner can take parental leave as single days off. It’s very straightforward.

Actually that's only if you are in receipt of DLA or PIP for the child, we are not.

It's clearly not 'very straightforward' or this thread wouldn't exist.

Thanks though, helpful.

OP posts:

Original poster

Perfect28 · 01/04/2026 06:09

MJagain · 01/04/2026 05:56

This really is the most likely straightforward solution. Build your own village.

You can’t expect him to go through life without friends because it suits you better?

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I'm curious, do you think it's fine to be rude to people on the internet?

Have you ever wondered about how the task of 'building a village" is womens work?

You also sound very ignorant about autism. It's not a choice.

Goodbye!

OP posts:

MJagain · 01/04/2026 05:58

Perfect28 · 26/03/2026 17:37

I'm curious, do all the people who are suggesting play dates really think it's fine to leave a 5 year old child at a friend's house for 8 hours? Do you not think that puts a lot of pressure on them, the parents and the other child?

We do have playdates and I do my best to socialise even though it's incredibly challenging as a working parent, but these are usually both parents present and for a maximum of 2/3 hours. After that they start winding each other up etc.

As I said I can see how this would be a good solution for an older child, maybe 7/8 plus? But for just turned 5 it seems an awful lot to ask.

That's before considering my child is also autistic, quite particular and rigid in his play etc. and can find other children challenging (as I'm sure they also find him!).

I'm not using autism as an excuse, it is really interesting to me how many people completely disregard it. Socialising and communicating is really difficult for me. I do my best, I mask all day and I do really try to get to know other parents etc but ultimately there's only so many hours in a day and so much energy in my battery. Trying to keep on top of seeing my own friends, relationship, home and work already feels like a monumental juggle.

I apologise if my OP was unclear. Nothing like posting on mumsnet to realize your communication is lacking 🤣

Yes it’s fine. And he won’t be 5 forever.

MJagain · 01/04/2026 05:56

Perfect28 · 25/03/2026 17:24

I appreciate all the comments about friends and play dates, but we are both autistic and this social elemental of parenting is really difficult. It's also another task that would likely fall to me as the more socially masking parent so I'm really hoping for alternatives because this honestly fills me with dread.

This really is the most likely straightforward solution. Build your own village.

You can’t expect him to go through life without friends because it suits you better?

NobodysChildNow · 01/04/2026 05:49

Op do you have a class WhatsApp? I would do a cheerful post: “hi does anyone happen to know a childminder who can help me and MrPerfect28 find someone to help us cover inset day on Monday 13th? We are both teaching that day! Failing that - if anyone fancies a “playdate swap” with another day in the holidays, please let me know!”

Also when dd was 5 I knew several people whose old nursery was happy to have them for one day - worth a phone call to ask.

NT or ND, we all find this a bit awkward when you don’t know many mums and dads in the class yet. If you can mask enough to be a teacher, just buckle up and ask on the WhatsApp, it is more neutral than approaching Billy’s mum and asking outright.

I am lucky to have practiced with dd1 and now I make offers to mums I know work, “if you find yourself stuck for childcare give me a shout, we’ll work out a swap.” It can be a nice way to start making mum/dad friends at school! Go for it!

Tippexy · 01/04/2026 05:05

The OP and her partner can take parental leave as single days off. It’s very straightforward.

Rollerbarbie88 · 01/04/2026 00:53

If your child is already in wraparound care, even though they are closed, you could approach staff and ask if any of them would be willing to do childminding privately for the day. They will be familiar with your child's needs and interests and are already a familiar adult. You could request a half day if they can't do it all and arrange with your employer to leave early.

You and your husband could both 'have an appointment' that day. One can say they will be in after lunch, one can need to leave before lunch. You each have your child half the day.

You be very frank with your employer and say you are willing to stay late/come in on your day off to complete any missed time, but you require the time off. If they can't accommodate, tell them you will be taking a mental health day.

I find it very hard to believe that ANY employer would force you to take a full week of leave when you require only one day. They would be leaving themselves up a creek and it would be detrimental to your pupils learning. You can give them the dates for your child's inset more than a year in advance. It is ridiculous.

MajorProcrastination · 31/03/2026 15:20

Perfect28 · 25/03/2026 18:10

It's not though is it, because holdiay clubs exist during the holidays and parents can book childcare.

Holiday clubs don't exist for inset days, not here at least.

Other jobs also have flexibility in working. You can choose your holiday, you can often buy more leave and potentially work from home or make up the hours. These options are not available for teachers.

Show quote history

I don't know of any jobs where I could buy enough leave to match up with the number of weeks of school holidays. I've rarely used holiday clubs and when my children have gone to them, it's been a pain in the arse as they start later than and finish earlier than school.

You've missed the bit where I've made some suggestions for getting help on those few random inset days. We all need a village.

CookingFatCat · 30/03/2026 23:49

Find a babysitter on Bumble?

Tippexy · 30/03/2026 20:54

We can take parental leave but that has to be in blocks of one week at a time so not helpful here.

As your child has SEN then it can be taken in single days.

Mumof1andacat · 26/03/2026 17:48

Ad hoc nanny or a childminder for the day. Post an message on a local Facebook group or look on childcare.co.uk for these.

Ophy83 · 26/03/2026 17:42

Honestly no it wouldn't be too much, but then I've had the kids' friends staying for days at a time on occasion when the mum has been in hospital etc. They just fit in with the family routine.

Original poster

Perfect28 · 26/03/2026 17:37

I'm curious, do all the people who are suggesting play dates really think it's fine to leave a 5 year old child at a friend's house for 8 hours? Do you not think that puts a lot of pressure on them, the parents and the other child?

We do have playdates and I do my best to socialise even though it's incredibly challenging as a working parent, but these are usually both parents present and for a maximum of 2/3 hours. After that they start winding each other up etc.

As I said I can see how this would be a good solution for an older child, maybe 7/8 plus? But for just turned 5 it seems an awful lot to ask.

That's before considering my child is also autistic, quite particular and rigid in his play etc. and can find other children challenging (as I'm sure they also find him!).

I'm not using autism as an excuse, it is really interesting to me how many people completely disregard it. Socialising and communicating is really difficult for me. I do my best, I mask all day and I do really try to get to know other parents etc but ultimately there's only so many hours in a day and so much energy in my battery. Trying to keep on top of seeing my own friends, relationship, home and work already feels like a monumental juggle.

I apologise if my OP was unclear. Nothing like posting on mumsnet to realize your communication is lacking 🤣

OP posts:

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 26/03/2026 16:12

As teachers you probably have more freedom in school holidays than the parents of your daughter’s friends. You need to exchange play dates with them.

Revoltingpheasants · 26/03/2026 13:50

Cairneyes · 26/03/2026 13:07

Because teachers are in work on INSET days so they will need childcare.

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I don’t know if you think all schools have the same INSET days; they don’t.

Sometimes they align but then it’s no different to a teaching day when you’d need childcare.

The point is the school is closed to children but the OP and her partner have to work; there is no flexibility in this.

Cairneyes · 26/03/2026 13:07

Revoltingpheasants · 26/03/2026 13:03

Unclear if you can’t use basic common sense I guess,

I mean, why would the OP and her teacher husband having an INSET day be an issue for childcare?

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Because teachers are in work on INSET days so they will need childcare.

Revoltingpheasants · 26/03/2026 13:03

Needlenardlenoo · 26/03/2026 12:53

Yes, I misread it too.

Tbf the OP wasn't totally clear.

Unclear if you can’t use basic common sense I guess,

I mean, why would the OP and her teacher husband having an INSET day be an issue for childcare?

Needlenardlenoo · 26/03/2026 12:53

Yes, I misread it too.

Tbf the OP wasn't totally clear.

marcyhermit · 26/03/2026 12:49

Needlenardlenoo · 26/03/2026 08:06

INSET days are training days often on mandatory things like safeguarding. You can't just skip them!

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Her child's inset day.

Revoltingpheasants · 26/03/2026 08:56

Strictly1 · 26/03/2026 07:16

Do you not think the head will realise they’re always sick on INSET days? Are we saying it’s okay teachers with children never do the training with other staff?
It’s a problem for the parents to sort, not the Head.

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I don’t think my head teacher has a clue what INSET days primary schools have. Why would they?

My son’s primary school isn’t even in the same county!

I am mildly bemused at how many on here think OP has an issue with her INSET days and I know misunderstandings happen but why would this be an issue?

On her son’s INSET days the school is closed to children but the OP still has to work

I know I’m grumpy this morning but in genuinely failing to understand why people can’t seem to process this. It isn’t hard!

Needlenardlenoo · 26/03/2026 08:06

sakura06 · 25/03/2026 20:48

Your school should allow you the day off unpaid if you ask? They would surely allow you to stay home if your child was sick.

It could also be worth approaching the primary school and explaining the situation. My daughter’s primary school out-of-hours provider now covers Inset days too as I think people were really struggling to cover the odd day here and there.

INSET days are training days often on mandatory things like safeguarding. You can't just skip them!

Besidemyselfwithworry · 26/03/2026 07:30

You have a few options here

Get a play date with the child’s friends (you being autistic shouldn’t be a barrier here -most people I’ve come across are absolutely fine just be honest with them of things you find challenging. With my 3 kids we’ve both always worked and helped other people in holidays as have people helped us.

A childminder locally or holiday club is your other option.

Being teachers - and only needing term time wraparound (as a general rule) only needing to cover 5 days should be do-able.

With regards to play dates etc… please try to do some of these for your child, as it’s really important for them but it is also important to network with other parents to help and support. When if your child’s birthday? Maybe organise a party with some little friends and get to know other parents - easier once you’ve met people and made the connection x

TheRealMagic · 26/03/2026 07:23

Do you have a class WhatsApp group? I would post there, asking whether anyone has a babysitter who might be able to cover inset days that they'd recommend. You might get some recommendations, you might get someone offering help directly, but I think it's worth a try?