Page 2 | How to deal with childminder claiming children are sick

BernardButlersBra · 2025-11-19T17:47:24+00:00

Started with a childminder a while back, children have not done a full month in this time as she keeps on messaging asking for us to pick them up as they are "ill". This isn't their first childcare provider and are toddlers now, so it isn't the "we've just started going to childcare and we catch everything going" phase. Plus we have a clear understanding of whether they are sick or not e.g. today it was because they were coughing and another child had an upset stomach the other day. Husband and l have used up all of our emergency leave and annual leave, yesterday she decided she wasn't having them back for the rest of the week. So we have had to take unpaid leave. Currently tempted to take them to the doctors but obviously that is a waste of NHS resources as they are fine or turn out with a thermometer every time we get summoned.

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Original poster

BernardButlersBra · 20/11/2025 08:50

Dilysthemilk · 19/11/2025 19:00

I had this with a childminder and it was a nightmare - I was a teacher so could not work from home. I was working part time, childminder 2 days a week, split between the middle and end of the week. Almost every Friday there would be a reason why she couldn’t have him - one time she had a headache! My H would have to stay home as I couldn’t and when he couldn’t one time we had to use the emergency nanny service through his work in absolute desperation the 4th week running. Needless to say notice was given and we switched to a nursery. I only used a childminder because everyone kept telling me it was better for a young one. It was so stressful. When we gave our notice she asked for a reference letter for her ofsted file - the cheek! I conveniently forgot..

Is it the same person?! Yesterday l started compiling the occurrences and there is a strong theme with Fridays 🙄

OP posts:

Overthebow · 20/11/2025 08:41

BernardButlersBra · 20/11/2025 08:08

@Ericeric and @PollyBell it’s the expense of nursery that puts us off. But at the moment we have the worst of both worlds: paying AND no childcare

Nursery is expensive but reliable. We have no family back up so childminders don’t work for us.

Original poster

BernardButlersBra · 20/11/2025 08:39

Mumofmarauders · 19/11/2025 19:23

I think surely if one of her kids is sick and she therefore can’t work then that should count the same as her sickness, meaning you don’t pay? She is being insanely cheeky as it is! We used two different childminders when my kids were little and although we had the odd time when they’d say a kid was ill and then we’d collect them and they’d be full of beans (same as happens at nursery and even at school), we never had anything like this. I don’t think it’s all childminders who are like this! Ours were great, and I felt much happier that the kids were with them than a large nursery.
Hopefully you find a better solution soon.

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This basically what we put back to her: our children aren’t sick and hers are sick. So she needs to take on the chin. A lot of husbands family work in healthcare, some of them have seen our children and also agree they aren’t sick.

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MidnightPatrol · 20/11/2025 08:28

I’ve known of both childminders and nurseries who are over-zealous on this.

Not much incentive for them to be measured about it when they are paid regardless IMO.

Say you can’t cope with the level of absence she’s asking for and find new childcare.

Original poster

BernardButlersBra · 20/11/2025 08:08

@Ericeric and @PollyBell it’s the expense of nursery that puts us off. But at the moment we have the worst of both worlds: paying AND no childcare

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yellowjellytot · 20/11/2025 08:07

BernardButlersBra · 19/11/2025 23:16

UPDATE

Husband announced he's having a “busy week” and can't do any childcare on Thursday or Friday. Partly as he hasn't worked the last 2 Thursday or Fridays in a row. He was away for a long weekend last weekend, leaving me flying solo. Previous week the Thursday he was on an away day with work (children sent home again so l picked up the slack until 9pm) and then the Friday. Needless to say l have declined to pick up the slack yet again. We are both equally busy at work and l only earn a bit less than him -within a year l will probably out earn him

Childminder has had a major climb down after we requested in writing why she sent them home and is not accepting them back for the rest of the week. In short @yellowjellytot you guessed correctly and actually her child is ill. So yeah major CF

I'm totally fuming by the whole situation. Especially at the childminder and her husband who thinks their sick child is our problem. I appreciate children get ill but why should we be left without childcare AND have to pay?! It's their problem

Yep, we are going to look for a new childminder. Our trust has gone and they are too flaky / selfish / unprofessional / dishonest

That’s awful! She really should have been honest with you. When mine were younger if they were sick I would let families know and give them the option of keeping their child off, without paying, if they wanted. Now they’re older they stay upstairs away from everyone if they’re sick.

When you use a childminder you do really take on the whole family while also becoming part of theirs. Trust both sides is a must, and this kind of mistrust completely breaks down the relationship. I think you are absolutely right to look elsewhere.
When looking for another childminder I would try to get some personal recommendations, ask them about their sickness policy and outright ask how many times they have had to close due to their or their child’s illness (some childminders have a back up plan for this to avoid closure)
Childminders can be a fabulous choice of childcare, if you can find the right one for your family. Have a look at reviews on childcare.co.uk, ask other local parents and contact you LA for funding advice. Gook luck!

Original poster

BernardButlersBra · 20/11/2025 08:06

Overthebow · 20/11/2025 05:56

So her child is sick yet she expected you to pay when she’s unavailable for childcare? Yes I’d be finding a new childminder too, she’s a CF. Have a look at nurseries, this kind of thing doesn’t happen as they have a team of staff. Often more expensive but more reliable and over the last 4 years we've used it for our two DCs we’ve never been left without childcare apart from when our DCs are ill and the one week it closes at Christmas.

She is indeed a CF. No one made her be self employed, there’s always a risk of children being ill after all. But lm not picking up the tab for it. Not sure if her other families have taken it lying down or have worked out the real situation

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ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 20/11/2025 08:06

My cm never did this. Used her for 14 years. Would only refuse d and v and impetigo.

If they felt under the weather they would lie in her sofa with a blanket.

Original poster

BernardButlersBra · 20/11/2025 08:02

For clarity no we aren't paying for any of the days this week. Husband has also been read the riot act about doing his share of parenting and not expecting me to pick up the slack. Needless to say no one is very thrilled with me today. But tough as l have my own things to sort; lm on the verge of being made redundant and have a crucial meeting about that today l need to attend. Which yeah l can't / won't do with 2 children in tow.

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Shakeyourwammyfannyfunkysong · 20/11/2025 07:57

Why don't you just find another childminder/nursery? You presumably have another couple of years of this otherwise. Mine never once got sent home from her nursery and there were never any last minute closures.

Asides from how disruptive it is I'd be concerned that a childminder who's so lazy and apathetic about this doesn't really have her heart in the job tbh. It sounds like you'll all be much happier somewhere else

Namechang44 · 20/11/2025 07:39

It’ll be in her illness policy.

if a child is unwell enough to participate in outside play or usual activities they’ll be sent home

I feel that there is more to this!

check the illness policy as you’ll have agreed to that at the start so you may need to change childminder but recent EYFS highlights it’s a statutory requirement that early years including childminders have to be strict with illness and infection control

Cyclistmumgrandma · 20/11/2025 07:28

Overthebow · 20/11/2025 05:56

So her child is sick yet she expected you to pay when she’s unavailable for childcare? Yes I’d be finding a new childminder too, she’s a CF. Have a look at nurseries, this kind of thing doesn’t happen as they have a team of staff. Often more expensive but more reliable and over the last 4 years we've used it for our two DCs we’ve never been left without childcare apart from when our DCs are ill and the one week it closes at Christmas.

Well I’ll grant you it’s rare for nurseries not to take children because of their sickness but it does happen. Granddaughter’s nursery temporarily closed last week as they had so much sickness that they didn’t have the staff to run it.

Toddlergirly · 20/11/2025 06:22

BernardButlersBra · 19/11/2025 23:16

UPDATE

Husband announced he's having a “busy week” and can't do any childcare on Thursday or Friday. Partly as he hasn't worked the last 2 Thursday or Fridays in a row. He was away for a long weekend last weekend, leaving me flying solo. Previous week the Thursday he was on an away day with work (children sent home again so l picked up the slack until 9pm) and then the Friday. Needless to say l have declined to pick up the slack yet again. We are both equally busy at work and l only earn a bit less than him -within a year l will probably out earn him

Childminder has had a major climb down after we requested in writing why she sent them home and is not accepting them back for the rest of the week. In short @yellowjellytot you guessed correctly and actually her child is ill. So yeah major CF

I'm totally fuming by the whole situation. Especially at the childminder and her husband who thinks their sick child is our problem. I appreciate children get ill but why should we be left without childcare AND have to pay?! It's their problem

Yep, we are going to look for a new childminder. Our trust has gone and they are too flaky / selfish / unprofessional / dishonest

Please don’t pay for the days that the CM’s child was sick. Refuse. Is there a way to report her? Ofsted maybe? My toddler is at nursery and she’s only sent home if she a fever that hasn’t come down or chicken pox etc.

Ericeric · 20/11/2025 06:09

I’d go to small claims court if she doesn’t offer you a refund.

ObsidianTree · 20/11/2025 06:06

Is she giving you a refund for the days she has decided not to provide care?

I'd find her advert posting on any childminder sites and leave an honest review. So future parents looking for childminders know that she doesn't really provide childcare but just takes your money.

PollyBell · 20/11/2025 06:06

Why not use nursery would be less disruptive for children

Ericeric · 20/11/2025 06:00

Why don’t you use a nursery?

Overthebow · 20/11/2025 05:57

.

Overthebow · 20/11/2025 05:56

So her child is sick yet she expected you to pay when she’s unavailable for childcare? Yes I’d be finding a new childminder too, she’s a CF. Have a look at nurseries, this kind of thing doesn’t happen as they have a team of staff. Often more expensive but more reliable and over the last 4 years we've used it for our two DCs we’ve never been left without childcare apart from when our DCs are ill and the one week it closes at Christmas.

Original poster

BernardButlersBra · 19/11/2025 23:16

UPDATE

Husband announced he's having a “busy week” and can't do any childcare on Thursday or Friday. Partly as he hasn't worked the last 2 Thursday or Fridays in a row. He was away for a long weekend last weekend, leaving me flying solo. Previous week the Thursday he was on an away day with work (children sent home again so l picked up the slack until 9pm) and then the Friday. Needless to say l have declined to pick up the slack yet again. We are both equally busy at work and l only earn a bit less than him -within a year l will probably out earn him

Childminder has had a major climb down after we requested in writing why she sent them home and is not accepting them back for the rest of the week. In short @yellowjellytot you guessed correctly and actually her child is ill. So yeah major CF

I'm totally fuming by the whole situation. Especially at the childminder and her husband who thinks their sick child is our problem. I appreciate children get ill but why should we be left without childcare AND have to pay?! It's their problem

Yep, we are going to look for a new childminder. Our trust has gone and they are too flaky / selfish / unprofessional / dishonest

OP posts:

yellowjellytot · 19/11/2025 21:01

BernardButlersBra · 19/11/2025 20:49

If this was a one off l might be minded to resolve it. But there have been a number of incidents now. We are less than 2 weeks out from the last one

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It sounds like you just need to look for another childminder or nursery then.

IsntItDarkOut · 19/11/2025 20:50

DD had a CM when she was older, over 7. It wasn’t unusual to see a little one on the sofa under a blanket watching a movie because they were a bit under the weather.
Id move them.

IsntItDarkOut · 19/11/2025 20:50

DD had a CM when she was older, over 7. It wasn’t unusual to see a little one on the sofa under a blanket watching a movie because they were a bit under the weather.
Id move them.

Original poster

BernardButlersBra · 19/11/2025 20:49

yellowjellytot · 19/11/2025 18:49

I’m a childminder and I can assure you this isn’t standard practice,The only reason I can think of would be if it was her own child, in theory they would have to be isolated for 48 hours. Or perhaps the setting needed deep cleaning after a child was ill?? (Not something I’ve heard of happening though!) on top of her constantly claiming they are sick when they aren’t, it definitely doesn’t sound right.

How do you feel about the setting in general? If you think it is worth trying to resolve I would have a chat with the childminder and try to work out what’s going on. Although I think perhaps another setting might be worth thinking about in this situation (BE AWARE if you’re using funding you may not be able to clam anywhere else before January)

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If this was a one off l might be minded to resolve it. But there have been a number of incidents now. We are less than 2 weeks out from the last one

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VikaOlson · 19/11/2025 20:48

If her child has a stomach bug then she would need to close until they were clear for 48 hours.

If you feel her sickness policies are too strict - eg sending your child home for a cough when they don't have a fever - then I would find another setting.

Personally as a childminder I send home for a fever over 38, d&v, infections like chicken pox or hfm, or if they are inconsolable or unable to participate in normal activities. It's not typical to send a child home for cough or cold if they are otherwise ok.