How to deal with childminder claiming children are sick

BernardButlersBra · 2025-11-19T17:47:24+00:00

Started with a childminder a while back, children have not done a full month in this time as she keeps on messaging asking for us to pick them up as they are "ill". This isn't their first childcare provider and are toddlers now, so it isn't the "we've just started going to childcare and we catch everything going" phase. Plus we have a clear understanding of whether they are sick or not e.g. today it was because they were coughing and another child had an upset stomach the other day. Husband and l have used up all of our emergency leave and annual leave, yesterday she decided she wasn't having them back for the rest of the week. So we have had to take unpaid leave. Currently tempted to take them to the doctors but obviously that is a waste of NHS resources as they are fine or turn out with a thermometer every time we get summoned.

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JacknDiane · 24/11/2025 08:26

SummerHouse · 20/11/2025 14:30

Needless to say no one is very thrilled with me today.

I am OP. I think you sound fabulous!

You have been let down. You've let down no one. I am sorry you were unlucky. In my experience both child minders and nursery would only call for vomit, temp or suspicious rash (eg looking like chicken pox). And that would only be in the case of your child, not theirs (!)

You are dealing with a lot and heroically so. I hereby award you a parenting high five and wish you the very best standard of future childcare. You are brilliantly dealing with a sea of arseholes.

I was just thinking exactly this, but you have put it much better than I could @SummerHouse!

Tiddlywinkly · 24/11/2025 08:05

Just as a heads up re nurseries. They can be over zealous with the calling you to collect too. I'd sometimes get DD home and she'd be fine.
The nursery my dsis used had problems with staffing levels and she'd often get calls to say her ds was ill.

Still, I personally preferred nurseries as I wanted to pick when I used my annual leave, rather than have to work around the annual leave of someone else (or illness).

yellowjellytot · 24/11/2025 07:12

BernardButlersBra · 23/11/2025 19:56

Who do l make aware she’s claiming for government funding under false pretenses then? I can withhold our money for this week out of next months but not sure how it’s resolved with the funded part

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That’s through your local authority. What does it say about funding in your contract? Every LA has different rules on sickness. They may claim ir back or she may be obliged to offer the hours at a different time. It sounds kike you’re past that point though. Have you had any luck finding a different setting?

pushthebuttonnn · 24/11/2025 06:51

Luckily my dc will be starting school next term. CM has let us down so much with weak excuses. She also seems to make rules up as she goes along. Not ideal. At least with a nursery there are policies for everything. I also don't feel comfortable leaving dc with her now, she doesn't seem to care about us so how do we know she cares for the dc.

VikaOlson · 23/11/2025 21:20

No payment if she closes is for the bit you pay.
You're not going to get the funding back.

Original poster

BernardButlersBra · 23/11/2025 21:14

VikaOlson · 23/11/2025 20:18

You could enquire with the local authority early years funding team, but many allow settings to keep funding if they need to close for illness.
You aren't going to get the funding handed to you either way.

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Ok, l might give then a whirl. But our contract says no payment if she closes due to her sickness and this is basically what this is. It doesn’t feel very fair as my husband or l will lose 100’s next time she pulls this stunt and we have to take an unpaid days leave. But she still gets partly paid despite not fulfilling the contract or hours

But she isn’t having our part of it i.e. what we pay, ideally l would it in my hand but l will suggest knocking it off next months invoice

OP posts:

converseandjeans · 23/11/2025 20:21

Mine used to have my children when they weren’t 100% & needed a dose of calpol. I can’t recall them ever having a sick bug but sometimes they might have a temperature from teething. DD would often get a high temp & runny nose when teething & she was able to go. In fact I can’t recall them ever having to be picked up. So I think she is being a bit OTT tbh.

VikaOlson · 23/11/2025 20:18

BernardButlersBra · 23/11/2025 19:56

Who do l make aware she’s claiming for government funding under false pretenses then? I can withhold our money for this week out of next months but not sure how it’s resolved with the funded part

Show quote history

You could enquire with the local authority early years funding team, but many allow settings to keep funding if they need to close for illness.
You aren't going to get the funding handed to you either way.

KickHimInTheCrotch · 23/11/2025 20:08

I chose to send my DC to nursery and one of the reasons was to avoid this type of flaky behaviour from child minders. My DC had 3 years each at nursery and aside from a week for chicken pox they missed only a few days each for sickness in that time.

Original poster

BernardButlersBra · 23/11/2025 19:57

MumChp · 20/11/2025 12:37

Why didn't you?

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Husband talked me out of it, it’s pretty much verbatim what l would have written. He probably regrets it somewhat as he had to carry a fair amount of the can for last week

OP posts:

Original poster

BernardButlersBra · 23/11/2025 19:56

VikaOlson · 20/11/2025 13:27

You shouldn't have to pay if she closes due to her child's illness (unless this is in the contract you agreed to).

Not sure what people think Ofsted will do though, Ofsted isn't the childminder's manager?
Ofsted are regulators that ensure providers fulfil the requirements of the EYFS, they don't arbitrate contract disputes.

Who do l make aware she’s claiming for government funding under false pretenses then? I can withhold our money for this week out of next months but not sure how it’s resolved with the funded part

OP posts:

Bournetilly · 21/11/2025 16:29

I would also suggest looking for a nursery, she is a massive CF.

pushthebuttonnn · 21/11/2025 11:56

I can't believe she had the audacity to still charge you when someone else's child was ill. No way would I pay for that day!

Original poster

BernardButlersBra · 21/11/2025 07:35

SummerHouse · 20/11/2025 14:30

Needless to say no one is very thrilled with me today.

I am OP. I think you sound fabulous!

You have been let down. You've let down no one. I am sorry you were unlucky. In my experience both child minders and nursery would only call for vomit, temp or suspicious rash (eg looking like chicken pox). And that would only be in the case of your child, not theirs (!)

You are dealing with a lot and heroically so. I hereby award you a parenting high five and wish you the very best standard of future childcare. You are brilliantly dealing with a sea of arseholes.

The default parenting vibe off everyone was grinding my gears! Childminder seemed to think her sick child was my problem and then my husband trying to weasel out of his obligations. It doesn’t help she always tries to ring / text me rather than the WhatsApp group -even when she knows lm not even in the county

OP posts:

SummerHouse · 20/11/2025 14:30

Needless to say no one is very thrilled with me today.

I am OP. I think you sound fabulous!

You have been let down. You've let down no one. I am sorry you were unlucky. In my experience both child minders and nursery would only call for vomit, temp or suspicious rash (eg looking like chicken pox). And that would only be in the case of your child, not theirs (!)

You are dealing with a lot and heroically so. I hereby award you a parenting high five and wish you the very best standard of future childcare. You are brilliantly dealing with a sea of arseholes.

Blondeshavemorefun · 20/11/2025 14:16

BernardButlersBra · 19/11/2025 18:21

Unfortunately we only don’t pay if she’s sick. So yeah we have to pay

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Maybe that’s how she plays it

she’s ill but won’t get paid so says your kids are

tho picking up as another child is ill is insane

you know what you have to do - find new childcare

pushthebuttonnn · 20/11/2025 14:09

I've had this also, sent home with a minor issue a few times. I can't keep taking time off over silly things. A cough could last 6 weeks, it's ridiculous to send them home. Fair enough a tummy bug which is contagious or a chest infection etc where they are very ill.

VikaOlson · 20/11/2025 13:27

You shouldn't have to pay if she closes due to her child's illness (unless this is in the contract you agreed to).

Not sure what people think Ofsted will do though, Ofsted isn't the childminder's manager?
Ofsted are regulators that ensure providers fulfil the requirements of the EYFS, they don't arbitrate contract disputes.

Harassedmum123 · 20/11/2025 12:46

@BernardButlersBrai don’t think you need to be polite in this situation. She is continuing to take you for a ride. We always used nurseries for this reason as so many friends had similar nightmare situations with childminders. I appreciate this isn’t the case with all childminders but it was too risky for us as my dh nor me had no option of wfh . Serve notice now and say why. I would consider reporting to Ofsted too. What a cheeky and dishonest woman. I wouldn’t want my dc being around her.

MumChp · 20/11/2025 12:37

BernardButlersBra · 19/11/2025 18:12

Yep. We were polite and resisted the urge to say “and that’s my problem how?!”

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Why didn't you?

Helpwithdivorce · 20/11/2025 12:34

I would find another provider. I would also refuse to collect them. If she calls you and says they are sick clarify if they have v&d or a temperature and if the answer is no I would say then they are well enough to attend and I will collect after work. Cheeky fucker. I have refused to collect from
nursery before now when mine had a cold. I don’t keep my kids home for just a cold if they have no temperature then they can go in

Shakeyourwammyfannyfunkysong · 20/11/2025 12:25

BernardButlersBra · 20/11/2025 09:56

It's not in her illness policy though as they aren't ill. She was claiming they are ill but they aren't and it's her child. We thought this the other times but it's getting too frequent now and we are out of road with work. Plus what happens when our children are actually ill?

There most likely is something more to this: l get a vibe of OCD and/or health anxiety off of her. But again that's not my problem and she needs to address that herself.

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So she's a shit childminder then. It's no longer in your child's or your interest to give her your business so start looking for alternatives

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 20/11/2025 10:17

I would start looking for a new setting today.

Also, I don’t think a childminder is better than a nursery or vice versa. I think it depends which is better for the individual child.

Original poster

BernardButlersBra · 20/11/2025 09:56

Namechang44 · 20/11/2025 07:39

It’ll be in her illness policy.

if a child is unwell enough to participate in outside play or usual activities they’ll be sent home

I feel that there is more to this!

check the illness policy as you’ll have agreed to that at the start so you may need to change childminder but recent EYFS highlights it’s a statutory requirement that early years including childminders have to be strict with illness and infection control

It's not in her illness policy though as they aren't ill. She was claiming they are ill but they aren't and it's her child. We thought this the other times but it's getting too frequent now and we are out of road with work. Plus what happens when our children are actually ill?

There most likely is something more to this: l get a vibe of OCD and/or health anxiety off of her. But again that's not my problem and she needs to address that herself.

OP posts:

ClairN · 20/11/2025 09:12

This is why we use a nursery. Good luck finding somewhere reliable OP.