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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

At our wits end with childcare - any advice

30 replies

glasspaw · 12/10/2025 14:07

We engaged an agency to find us a 2 day a week nanny. We paid a finders fee of around £2k in January. The nanny started in February and decided she was relocating literally 2 weeks later. The agency found us a free replacement but it took 4 months. We had to pay the payroll company twice to register two different individuals. Nanny 2 started in July and has now handed in her notice.

in total we have paid about £2500 in agency and payroll fees, and for that we have had childcare cover for less than 4 months in total.

Do we have any protection here? My guess is that the answer is no but this all feels tremendously unfair. The agency has said we have used our free replacement search already so would have to pay again. I know we are in a privileged position to be able to pay a nanny but genuinely it’s the only option that allows us both to keep working. We aren’t rolling in it and are still eligible for the 30 “free” hours but with two children to cover and work schedules that sometimes have us both away overnight it just isn’t a sustainable option.

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FuzzyWolf · 12/10/2025 14:15

Agencies often aren’t the best place to find a nanny. If you can ask around friends because good, reliable nannies tend to be referred by word of mouth and are snapped up without ever needing to go near an agency.

glasspaw · 12/10/2025 14:15

TwinklyStork · 12/10/2025 14:10

Maybe you’re not very nice to work for. Losing two nannies within such a short period would seem to indicate that.

Oh wow that’s quite a take.

first one quit because her husband accepted a new job which required them to relocate. She didn’t disclose this was already a possibility when taking the job. Our guess is she was hedging her bets.

second one had 2 part time roles, the other one let her go and our part time placement didn’t cover her living costs. She asked if we could up to full time, we can’t, and also don’t need to because we have the rest of the week covered.

so no. That isn’t the case at all 😂

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Bigpinksweater · 12/10/2025 14:12

TwinklyStork · 12/10/2025 14:10

Maybe you’re not very nice to work for. Losing two nannies within such a short period would seem to indicate that.

I don’t think that’s fair, the turnover in these jobs and childcare in general can be very high.

I just think it sounds a stressful environment for kids - multiple nannies in and out like a revolving door and parents away on work trips regularly.

TwinklyStork · 12/10/2025 14:10

Maybe you’re not very nice to work for. Losing two nannies within such a short period would seem to indicate that.

Bigpinksweater · 12/10/2025 14:08

One of you needs to find a new job. This sounds like a very stressful family life.