Is this normal nanny behaviour?

Now I think about it, going out for lunch to a restaurant once a week seems a lot. I agree that setting the kitty at x per week and letting her choose how to spend it is a good idea.

There was a thread not too long ago about how some nannies are a bit free and easy with their employers' cash. How much does her lunch cost?

I knew a nanny who would eat three meals a day at work which I thought was a bit of a cheek. Especially as she ate two at home as well

If she's daily, lunch and snacks should be fine. If she's live in, you have to provide all her meals within the house. How old is she?

is she live in? then I think making any comment about how much she eats is going to be bang out of order tbh.
if she lives out, then that's different.

Just wanted to say that I assumed your nanny was live-out.

well tbh it isn't so much a question of what is normal but what do you want to agree
you are the employer, she is looking after you child, you need to be able to establish a good, two way relationship imo from the beginning, which includes setting ground rules etc

1. Taking son out to lunch occasionally (maybe once a week) and buying her own lunch on the kitty money tab. well does the budget allow it? tbh, if she is meeting up with other nanny friends and other mums then maybe this is normal and she is just socialising.

2. Eating us out of house and home after we've done a big shop! Always seems to eat what we've prepared for that night's meal (or what the cleaners have prepared rather ). I know we provide meals on duty, but she seems to be eating an awful lot!

if there is something you don't want her to eat, then you should identify it and say not to eat it.

3. Taking naps whilst my son naps. I assume she has monitor with her during this time.

personally, I wouldn't have a problem with this tbh. I don't think you child is in any more danger than he is when you are asleep at night

1)i go out for lunch maybe twice a month (if at play centre) etc - food gets put on my works credit card

some places dont allow packed lunch

2)i find that a note on food you dont want eaten works well - just as if I have made a pie for tomorrows tea,I tell DB to look and not touch

3)why does she need to nap? i have once or twice gone to bed when charge has when had really bad cold and said happy to come in, as long mb didnt mind me having a lie down when child did ( which she didn't mind, they appreicated me coming in )

You can't blame her for eating! I bet your son likes going out to eat too. It is all experience for him and is something he would be doing if you were at home. Also she needs to not be on her own all the time. It is good for you nanny and good your your ds to have friends. When I was a nanny I took my charges with me and had lunch with other nannies and 'their' children. Otherwise she will go INSANE. It is a very lonely job and if I were you I would be encouraging her to get out and about.

Agree with nannynick.

If you don't want her to take your son out so often, say so. You also get to say where she takes him. If you don't want her to take him out for lunch then say so.

If you don't let her know what's earmarked for your dinner she can't be expected to know. However, this depends if she's live in or daily. Ask her what you can add to the shopping list for her. If she's daily, bear in mind this should be enough to provide her with lunch (not a big cooked meal) and a couple of snacks per day. Obv more for live in.

A bit slack to take naps but tbh if she's live in, takes the monitor and is up to speed on all her duties, not much difference between a snooze and watching tv. I wouldn't have done it though.

1. Yes, but if she's spending too much you could give her a total amount for the week/month and ask her to budget and provide receipts. ( eg. I have a nanny during school hols for my 2 school age kids and I give her £50 per week - if she wants to spend more than that eg. trip to theme park, she has to discuss it with me and I'll give her the money)

2. Couldn't you just ask the cleaners to label your dinner (or put it on a particular shelf in fridge) and ask nanny not to eat that, but to help herself to other stuff. Is your nanny catering for her nanny friends? My ex-nanny would have her friends and their charges over for lunch so I would provide that, but the next week they would go to another family's house and they would provide (or nanny would take dessert or something). Current nanny drinks a heck of a lot of fruit juice but I've asked her to text me if we are running out of anything (ie. juice) and I'll pick some up on the way home - I don't mind as long as I don't get home to find that we've run out!

3. Nope, not had a napping nanny before, Is your's a live-in nanny? Or does she have a very early start? I would expect nanny to use nap-time to tidy up, prep dinner and do other stuff which is hard to do with an active 2 year old about.

How long have you employed this nanny for? Could you have a review meeting and discuss spending money, food etc..give her a better idea of your expectations?

I was an au pair once so I always see the other side,,,,,,, but imo if she's got a larger appetite than you, that doesn't necessarily make her greedy.

I think it is clever and good time management and not in any way irresponsible to take a nap while you son is napping.

I think no.1 is fairly normal, although by lunch in my nannying days (many years ago - my charges just turned 18 and 21!!), it would have been a sandwich etc if out, not a huge expensive meal. They did provide my lunch and were happy for us to have lunch out from time to time although not weekly.

No.2 - Does she live-in with you? I wouldn't have expected her to eat any more than you would yourselves if she's living in. If living out, then she would eat at home after work presumeably.

No3 - errrrr, not really. I'd have been getting on with 'nursery duties'/kids ironing etc in their nap times.

Lunch - Yes, as employer you are expected to provide all meals whilst on duty. Reasonable in my view for it to come out of the weekly kitty. Where they went for lunch is more of the concern... and why they could not have made a packed lunch and supplement with a hot drink/ice cream.

Makes sure your nanny knows about your menu planning. May also be useful to have your nanny menu plan for lunch/tea on the days they are working. Then you can food order in advance, and also know what your son is being given (even if he doesn't eat it).

Wouldn't expect a nanny to nap while your son does. Would expect them to make a cup of tea and have a 20 minute break. Then the remaining time could be spent doing food prep, household tasks, planning activities/outings, menu planning etc.