Experiences with younger babies in nursery please (under 9 months)

He’s 4 now and absolutely fine. No negative effects whatsoever and you never can be sure but I think starting young perhaps benefitted him in some way because he’s very confident and settles anywhere. But I found it a very stressful time and ultimately it did hurt my career (and sanity 🤣).

Mine went to nursery at 6/7 months. I remember some of what you describe but can’t really remember how we resolved it. Think they just got used to it over time.

If it helps - at the time it seemed huge to me like it does to you now. Yet sitting here now I can hardly remember it. It’s blended into the general backdrop chaos of parenting. My kids are only 6 and 3 but it feels like a lifetime ago.

He was 6 months when he started and is the youngest in the room. He sleeps through noise though so the others in the room wouldn’t bother him. He knows nighttime is quiet sleep and day sleep is bright and loud. We did this from the start as mat leave where I live is 15 weeks so we knew he’d have to adjust to nursery. His naps in nursery now match his ones at home, his morning one is the longest and then shorter one in the afternoon.

I will say you also have to give him time for the staff to learn his cues and personality which takes time. Now that they know him they know him things are smoother but there is definitely a period of growing pains with both food and napping. Don’t worry the doubts you are having and the feeling pulled on every direction I had too. Now he goes in smiling every morning.

There will usually still be one staff member trying for as long as possible to get your child off to sleep however, after a certain time when staff members go on lunches or start going home, the effort will most likely dip. Obviously the lights can't be off all day and so it is more difficult but as a pp has said, it took time for their child. It will for yours too. I do understand the stress of sleepless nights and being out of routine as a mother also. Its just trial and error til we get it right. I really do hope things settle down for you and baby soon.

My kids were older, 9 and 10 months, but I just wanted to say that neither of them ever really 'got used to' sleeping at the nursery setting. They always slept a lot less there than that at home. They went part time and had much longer naps on their days with me/dad/grandparent, catching up a bit I think. It did get easier as they got older and older and needed less sleep so they weren't as overtired at pick up time but they never learned to sleep through the noise or have proper naps there I'm afraid. Also the second one started night waking lots like youre describing after previously sleeping through for a month. It took 6 months for them to sleep through again.

I had to go back when my little girl was 5.5months and it was a hard transition but she got there. I’d hang in there a little longer and see if sleep gets more regular over the next few weeks before you worry too much about it affecting development

DS started at 8 months and my experience wasn’t great either tbh. Despite officially taking babies from 6 months I found out later that they very rarely took any under 1s so frankly didn’t know what they were doing and couldn’t balance his needs with the others who were all over 1 and at a 1:3 ratio. Consequently more than 1 nap never happened, even though he was always fine falling asleep without support he’d only entertain it after lunch there when the others were napping. Also he either refused or they didn’t try very hard with the bottle so just had to go on to 3 meals + 2 snacks and forget the milk. In all honesty the only thing that helped was time and once he was 1 he was absolutely fine on nursery’s routine. Night and day though with the daycare my eldest went to the in the US where 12 weeks is the typical starting age and consequently they had a proper set up and were amazing with the babies. But coming from abroad I didn’t think to ask the right questions or properly look at their set up. If I had my time over again I’d have tried to find a childminder as actually he would have been fine napping in a pushchair on the school run, he just wouldn’t when the other 8 kids in the ‘baby’ (actually young toddler) room were all doing fun activities.

@SpencerGarciaGideon sums it up perfectly and gives yet another reason why child minders can be difficult.
Baby room staff are very focused on their small charges and their stage of development.

I'm an early years worker. Having worked in many baby rooms, I can tell you what I've seen. A parent gives us details of the babies sleep routines, feeding routines etc. We stick to them wherever possible. We can sit with a child and use the parent's preferred method of sleep (rocking, patting their back, using comforter and/or dummy etc. Usually the lights are turned off and soft music is put on and this will continue until the child is asleep. It may not be the exact time but give or take 20 minutes. Some children are just too nosey as it's not their usual home routine. Some just cant settle because they're not with their primary caregiver. The child staying asleep is a whole other thing. This is usually because other children only "catnap" and may make noise when they wake up. Others may be upset and wake your child up. It's all very unpredictable in a baby room. The staff are trying their best to accommodate your baby's needs and and it will be the same with every nursery. It will take some time but your child will get used to the noises etc and will eventually sleep through it. Childminders usually have children of different ages and they need to disrupt the child's sleep for school pick ups etc. so perhaps not going to solve your problem. Hope this helps.

For us it took about 4 weeks for DS to settle into the new routine. Like you naps went haywire but he did always sleep at night but we did figure that he was getting over stimulated while trying to adjust. So we made the evenings as calm as possible and that helped. We are now 2.5 months in and he is having his normal naps and nursery and sleeps at night. I will say he never needed to be rocked to sleep always fell asleep in his cot by himself so that is a bit easier on the nursery staff.

I would say it is very early days and oh I do know it is so hard as you feel you are being ripped in half between your role as a mother and that of a professional person.
Has he got a nursery key worker who you could speak with and discuss your concerns?
In my experience - just two DC - nursery is much better than a childminder long term.

Can you do a childminder or nanny instead