Help! What should au pairs get in London? URGENT

I need mon and tues 1 kid got ready and taken to school (3 min walk) to school, and Wed through Fri 1 kid to school and one to nursery (15 min walk in buggy). I need school pickup 5 days at 3:30 and nursery 3 days at 12 (I and DH have been doing much of this, but no longer can cope with work demands). I get home about 5 pm. DDs are 2 and 4 and easy by all my friend's standards. Duties are to mind and interact with children, take each to one activity a week even just the park or library (not in place yet) keep house in order and clean, 4-5 loads of laundry per week to be dried sorted folded and put away etc etc, basically I only want to iron, shop for food and make dinner. I live in Mill Hill north London. I would like to replace her by easter as she is going home then anyway for a break (already went home for xmas and made me pay extra for her fare so she could return by the time school started). I want a live in to help with the housework but primarily to get the kids ready in the morning, if I have to do it I will be in traffic for 4 hours a day instead of 2 with my current 8 to 4 shift my boss has agreed to. I cannot do this. DH also cannot cover his staututory hours if he has to drop a kid.

Communication, communication, communication! A lot of younger women ARE too diffident and afraid to look stupid, so don't admit they do not understand (I did that at this age too); or maybe they don't understand that they don't understand, which is how I flunked maths once. But sympathies aside, my day off and "quality time" with my girls yesterday consisted of a) taking dd1 for MMR b)dd2 insisting Mummy SIT DOWN HERE here between them while they watched tv-I immediately fell asleep sitting up. I woke up after 10 minutes and started ironing again. this is what I went through 6 cycles of IVF, 4 pregnancies and many thousands of pounds to do?

Have updated greataupair profile, with a much sharper description to scare away the woolly ones, but worried she will see it! and leave without notice. I took off the photo which was lovely, and changed my name a bit. oh well who cares anyway, really?

Further update from majorstress avenue... I noticed some ads for APs in the newsagent window and they are offering a bit more than this for a local job and a lot more for two jobs in the neighboring posher area which is closer to central London. The children are behaving better, which I think I (or flylady) have to take the credit for somewhat, giving me time to explain and demonstrate things again and again in words of one syllable to AP. Now I realise that when she says "yes, of course I understand", this is actually Hungarian for "the what the flying "£$% is the mad cow on about now?" AP is working harder, as am I to immediately point out and illustrate mistakes, and making her repeat back what she will do from now on, (like I do if my 4 year old is really naughty or dangerously daft, about once a month in her case), and I got some interesting revelations like admitting that yes my DH did explain AND physically show her 10 weeks ago that I wanted the shirts hung up straight out of the dryer on the hooks and hangers provided RIGHT NEXT to it, you don't even have to take a single step, and not left in a heap making an extra 45 minutes ironing every week. He had grumbled when I asked him to show her, so I crossly assumed he hadn't bothered, our relationship is suffering greatly under the stress and we have barely a second to speak each night, or often not at all. But tonight she came in from her workout at the gym, as I asked, with the details of the swim class I want her to take dd2 to (this is a 10 minute walk from our house, and dd2 LOVES LOVES LOVES swimming). Before xmas she said she forgot her swimming costume, and when I offered her one of mine (same size), refused without even seeing it. (It wasn't even the maternity one! So stupidly I let her off swimming until after xmas as I was too hassled to organise it, and yesterday I told her it was now HER task to organise as she is there every day anyway. Now she says in a mopey way she can't go swimming because she caught an infection once. I.e. she is not actually prepared to do this task. I am furious , it was one of the main stipulations of the job that I want my kids taken swimming and I rejected everyone that said they couldn't or didn't want to do this task including lots who were better in every other way. I also noticed that the contract stipulates ironing, so again I let her off when I had said it in writing and should have said ok, goodbye, THIS is what the job entails so I want someone who will do it for me. THAT IS IT, SHE IS GONE AS SOON AS I FIND SOMEONE ELSE. OK, I'm off to greataupair again, wish me luck!!!

I think it is a lot to pay, but before DD1 started school I was paying over £400 a month for nursery care just for her alone and £80 a week for cleaning (I didn't do any housework myself at all) and ironing. So that is where I am coming from, it is still less money and not having to take and collect her from school each day is a lot easier for me with my back than 2 kids at two sites from nursery was. Having a live-in AP has also allowed me to put dd2 into a local Montessori now 3 days a week which runs mornings only, which suits dd2 very well indeed as she needs some firmness and structure that is lacking in the work facility. I had such a hard time getting an AP at all that I got the impression I have to pay this well to get and retain an adequate person. Hopefully I can either find the strength to mould her into a decent worker or ease her out on good terms once I have got things under control again. I have recently joined Flylady (yikes! what have I become) and have begun to enjoy organizing and doing it myself in some ways, I actually find ironing therapeutic to my amazement. I never did it before. My work involves too much sitting at a PC these days so standing up and doing chores actually eases the pain (bedrest makes it worse). Also the rest of the family including AP has a lot more respect for me and our home the past few weeks, as they see me working so hard to make it nice for all of us, and gradually taking control again as my youngest leaves babyhood behind (boo hoo), it is a year since we moved to this house and it is slowly taking shape as OUR place, and both children are suddenly maturing into wonderful humans before our eyes. (Apart from the cleaning frenzy, dd1 loudly praised the new recipe I cooked from the fresh ingredients I had rashly bought-they were all about to reach the sell-by date, so no resorting to the freezer tonight!) AP was exhorted by dd1 to try it tomorrow-I usually keep leftovers for her as she doesnt want to eat before her workout, understandably.

Well here is what happened. I got dds setlled in bed with difficulty at 8:40 (late for them), after doing the bath story routine on my own. Then she came out of her room and I sat her down at the (clean!) dinner table. I asked her to list 3 things she liked, and she came up with them, trying to get the 3 things she didn't like was pretty fruitless so I listed 2 things she's asked for like, more money, and to borrow my London Transport card at regular intervals. I wrote it on the contract. Then I said I was generally happy with her performance with the children but my previous au pair did all the cleaning and ironing as well, she was astonished that I'd had one before. I said I could no longer work from 6 am to midnight 7 days a week and I needed more work from her. She said she could work until 7 pm, and I had told her she could leave at 6, which I denied. I said no raise unless she did more work, and proposed she worked on Friday too which covers all the extra hours missing in the evenings. My working-at-home on Friday instigated in September isn't working and I am falling further and further behind at work too. She began to get upset, thinking I meant no raise but more work, until I said I would give her a raise to £100 but I had to have a LOT more help. She was so delighted with the raise that she thought she wouldn't get 2 minutes earlier, she tearfully thanked me for being such a great mom (gawd) then asked for the £16 textbook money I had promised. I know I shouldn't pay so much, though I did say no way am I paying for her transportation as well, and I am going to insist on much more help and make more tick-lists for her to complete. I did that with the previous ones, but they didn't need them at all despite worse English. Some people are just efficient and some are not, and some have it thrust upon them (me!). Maybe i can get the old one back to show her how to clean, thats a good idea. I tried to get a cleaner 2 weeks ago but she didn't show up for the interview and I lost the will to live (and DH looked at our bank account). When I get thinkgs organised, I will decide if she is actually earning this money and probably calmly find another better one for the summer.

It has to do with the tories in the sense that they will use it to get votes, I do know labour is in power and they don't want to lose any.

Yes I know about visas because the English school has noticed the sudden shut off of students from non-eu countries.

Thanks all, felliing a bit calmer now, apart from having to absolutley INSIST that she tick off the list I spent an hour making on friday and put up on the kitchen wall. As I was struggling to get the nearly-cold meal on the table, she said she did didn;t need to do the ticking off, because everything except X was done -I said I put up the list because I am TOO BUSY right now (Obviously to anyone in the universe except her)to think about X and enter into a discussion about it, and I will look at it later. Then she went out to her exercise class. I myself can't even do the exercises prescribed by the physio at the hospital, no time or peace. But then guess what? whitout being asked, DDs cleared all the dishes off the table, DD1 got a cloth and wiped everything in the house, and DD2 age 2 got her feather duster I had to buy her (or tantrums) and dusted. For 2o minutes, while I got the DW going!!!! who needs an AP? I'm so pleased with them:}