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Original poster

Feel like the world is telling me not to work! (Childcare issues/illness/school events etc)

37 replies

opentothought · 04/06/2025 14:37

Anyone else in the same boat?
I work 4 days a week 9-4 so 6.5 hour days. It’s an office job and I do one day a week at home, which is very valuable to me and helps me get a few jobs done in between work.

Anyway this year DC1 started school so it’s our first year dealing with 1 at school and 1 at nursery, plus juggling school holidays and wrap around care etc. ITS TOUGH!!

When you add in DC getting ill, me getting ill this week and being totally wiped out and in bed for 3 days. School events for Father’s Day, year 1 induction parents meeting, sports morning (2.5 hours long), nursery closing for a day next week. I feel like I am constantly pissing my boss off and letting my colleagues down, who are all childless.

The silly thing is, given the cost of childcare right now, my wage doesn’t go very far but I see my job as my adult time, something I’m proud of and an investment into my pension.

My parents are helpful and they will pick up DC if I’ve got an important meeting at the school or nursery phoned to collect them etc, or if DC1 has an inset day they’re always on hand. But I swear when you factor in:

  • breakfast club
  • after school club
  • holiday club
  • inset days
  • child illness
  • nursery admin
  • aduly illness
  • school events
  • nursery event
its like I’m being told not to work!

anyone else in the same boat?

OP posts:
Comedycook · 04/06/2025 15:11

opentothought · 04/06/2025 14:52

My DH works full time in a factory job, it’s skilled and payed well, but unfortunately he gets no sick pay, but it awarded well for overtime so it falls to me to deal with the kids, and I am okay with that in a lot of ways. He is managing to go to the Father’s Day event at school next week but he doesn’t go to any of the others.

I know if I stop working it’s in my personalty to feel very nervous about going back to the point I probably wouldn’t ever go back, and as a PP has said you have to want to be a SAHM and after 2 MLs I know that I enjoy working part time.

I’m hoping it’ll be a bit easier when both kids are at school (maybe not!?)

In that case I'd hang in there...at least you have some grandparents support. And I'd also say, don't feel like you must attend absolutely every single thing the school does during the day that they invite parents to... obviously some things will be important but loads of it looking back isn't..

Hellofreshh · 04/06/2025 15:11

Are you a single parent? If so could you reduce your hours? To 3 days. Speak with your manager and say it's affecting your mental health. By the time you add up travel and holiday camps in the school it's not always beneficial for you OP.

AmIHumanOrAmIAYeti · 04/06/2025 15:06

My DH works full time in a factory job, it’s skilled and payed well, but unfortunately he gets no sick pay,

It would be emergency leave for dependents, not sick pay.

Don’t devalue your work just because you have a vagina.

Original poster
opentothought · 04/06/2025 14:52

My DH works full time in a factory job, it’s skilled and payed well, but unfortunately he gets no sick pay, but it awarded well for overtime so it falls to me to deal with the kids, and I am okay with that in a lot of ways. He is managing to go to the Father’s Day event at school next week but he doesn’t go to any of the others.

I know if I stop working it’s in my personalty to feel very nervous about going back to the point I probably wouldn’t ever go back, and as a PP has said you have to want to be a SAHM and after 2 MLs I know that I enjoy working part time.

I’m hoping it’ll be a bit easier when both kids are at school (maybe not!?)

OP posts:
Summercocktailsgalore · 04/06/2025 14:49

I do not annoy my colleagues and am in work, not at school events. Unless I or their dad taje annual leave.

Soretongue · 04/06/2025 14:49

you make no mention of their father. Not one.

Comedycook · 04/06/2025 14:48

However, I would caution you to consider finances and how you would re enter the workforce at a later date? Being a sahm is a risk in some ways so think very carefully.

AmIHumanOrAmIAYeti · 04/06/2025 14:46

arcticpandas · 04/06/2025 14:43

I was a Sahm at first because it didn't make financially sense for me to work (which suited me just fine btw:). One DC autistic so still sahm because life is too complicated if not. Calcule the cost of childcare vs work and go from there. Also, you have to be willing to be a sahm or you will be unhappy.

Don’t forget to cost out the impact on future earnings, pension and what happens if anything happens to you or your partner.

AmIHumanOrAmIAYeti · 04/06/2025 14:45

Where’s dad in all this? They should be covering half of it.

Comedycook · 04/06/2025 14:45

My dc are teens now but yep, this is why I was a sahm. School holidays, inset days, illness, endless school events...plus I had no extended family support really. One of my dc had sn and some minor medical issues too so we had loads of appointments to attend. Even as a sahm I used to just wish for a normal week where no one was ill, the school wasn't closed or having some kind of parent open morning. It was all too much

arcticpandas · 04/06/2025 14:43

I was a Sahm at first because it didn't make financially sense for me to work (which suited me just fine btw:). One DC autistic so still sahm because life is too complicated if not. Calcule the cost of childcare vs work and go from there. Also, you have to be willing to be a sahm or you will be unhappy.

Prettygreeneyes43 · 04/06/2025 14:42

Do you have a partner? You just have to try and split it between you. It’s the same for all working parents. You’re always better off working. What will you live in if you give up work?