Do you expect nanny to let you know they are not coming in?

In any employment its normally very clear on the contract, for example mine states must message manager by 9am daily. I dont have to physically speak to my manager, but they do need to know whether they are covering my work. From there it's 7 days self certified (including weekends and Bank Holidays regardless of what days you actually work. Then, if issued with a 'fit note' I'd expect my employer to leave me alone during the specified dates, though they will often send a 'how are you feeling' type message. Unfortunately the currently flu type virus doing the rounds is flooring a lot of people (I haven't taken sick leave for over 10 yrs and was off for 5 weeks!) but she has no reason to get rude or stroppy if she's failed to keep you up to date in the first few days (particularly when working with children and you need to know what you're covering)

That is outrageous. Clearly she's not truly ill. I used to be a nanny and I took one day off sick that whole time. You just don't do it unless you really have to and then you communicate.

Really? Every job I’ve had you have to phone every day to say you’re still sick. Unless signed off for a period of time.

It doesn’t need to be awkward, she was rude not you. Just be factual about it and your expectations going forward

The default is daily notice, provided as early as possible.

in an emergency, obviously have grace that she may not be able to update you in a timely fashion.

for a long-term or serious illness, she could specify explicitly that she will be out at least a certain number of days.

i would put the details in your contract and employee handbook if you use one.

Yeah this

OP if she responds rudely then you need to pull her up. Tell her it is the responsibility of an employee to let you know every day. Not leave you guessing.
And it is completely inappropriate to leave you in a position of having contact her.

And her following rudeness is totally unacceptable

In every job I've known it is the responsibility of the employee to let the employer know every day'

It's nit supposed to be some sort of guessing game.

Especially when the employees presence or not deeply affects the employer.

If you can point to your contract that will make it easier.

it’s hard because whilst an employee, they are also caring for your kids and you don’t want to sour relations because at that point you are going to have to look for someone else

Of course she should let you know!

you should have a sickness policy in your contract regarding how much sick pay, when it goes into statutory sick pay, informing you and when she needs to provide a doctors note

i had a good enough relationship with my nanny that i never asked for a dr note and always paid her in full - but this was because she was always honest with me and kept me informed and at no point did I ever worry she was taking the piss

Definitely not unreasonable to expect her to tell you at the start of each day if she is off sick of not. This is standard practice in all workplaces (if she was working in a nursery for example she’d need to do this). Unless she has a sick note / been signed off for a set amount of time this is a really unprofessional response from her. Please do raise it with her!! Xxx

I'd be finding a new nanny

Of course she should text you each day. That is absolutely ridiculous. WTAF.

I'd expect to be kept up to date. Especially when she'd said she would be back Wednesday.
When she's back explain that you understand sickness isn't avoidable but that you need to be kept up to date so you can arrange cover, so in future can she let you know as soon as she knows she won't be in for a day, whether that's telling you she will be off for eg 3 days, or keeping you up to date during the week if it's an illness where she isn't sure how long it will last.

I think if she's told you she's ill then you should assume she's ill until told otherwise.

If she said she'd be back on Wednesday I would expect her to let you know Tuesday evening that she's still ill and won't be in (because you were expecting her).

It seems like you don't have a clear policy in your contract so she thought one thing/you thought another. Just make it super clear what you need for next time.

I do think if you're really ill in bed, you don't want your boss messaging each day to see if you're still ill though. It's not a great look.

Has she never had a job before? Unless she told you what she had and it’s something that clearly lasts for several days she should have informed you every day.

Yep you're right
And agree with PP

I agree. You have a duty of care as her employer she could have been unconscious or dead

She needs to let you know each day unless she has said, "I will be off all week" or "I will be away for xxx days".