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Do you expect nanny to let you know they are not coming in?

70 replies

Herewegoagain84 · 23/01/2025 19:11

Just looking for opinions as I’m not sure whether I should raise this with our nanny. She’s usually fairly reliable, however she has been off sick the entire of this week (can’t begrudge that / it happens, though it does seem a long time!). She messaged last Sunday saying she wouldn’t be in on Monday - totally fine. I had to ask on Tuesday if she was coming and she said she planned to be back Wednesday. No show Wednesday and heard nothing after that. I followed up today after she didn’t show again, mostly because I was a concerned she was ok. This evening I’ve had an incredibly stroppy message basically saying “I told you I was ill at the beginning of the week”. Should I not have expected to hear from her again? If she lets me know, I can plan cover / what to do with work etc, and I didn’t expect her to be on an unlimited time off until I was notified if that makes sense? I would have hoped for better communication but perhaps I’m wrong. Any thoughts whether to raise this on her return welcome!

OP posts:
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MumChp · 25/01/2025 08:28

I would go with a new nanny. Of it's her responsibility to update you. She has a job.

Herewegoagain84 · 25/01/2025 08:26

mummytrex · 25/01/2025 02:15

Her initials are not MF are they?

Haha no! Have you had a similar experience?

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mummytrex · 25/01/2025 02:15

Her initials are not MF are they?

Herewegoagain84 · 25/01/2025 01:27

The contract says sick pay at our discretion so I guess we could do statutory immediately. I’m not even sure she’ll be back on Monday!!

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CrotchetyQuaver · 24/01/2025 22:02

You need to create a sickness policy seeing as she's been like she has.

Of course she should have let you know she wasn't turning up on Wednesday!

ToKittyornottoKitty · 24/01/2025 21:59

Herewegoagain84 · 24/01/2025 21:22

Yes I thought in this situation I would pay the first week of any employee’s sickness out of good will - but the way she’s behaved I feel it should be at my discretion… I sent a message saying that I’m glad she’s ok but also what our expectations are - and perhaps we can chat on Monday. No reply of course…

What does your contract say about sick pay? I’d be surprised if she shows up on Monday to be honest

Blondeshavemorefun · 24/01/2025 21:30

Herewegoagain84 · 24/01/2025 21:22

Yes I thought in this situation I would pay the first week of any employee’s sickness out of good will - but the way she’s behaved I feel it should be at my discretion… I sent a message saying that I’m glad she’s ok but also what our expectations are - and perhaps we can chat on Monday. No reply of course…

If you do a weeks sick pay now she may expect it and be ill often

unless contract says otherwise I would do ssp which kicks in day 3 I think

and isn’t a lot but sounds like she is taking the piss

Bruisername · 24/01/2025 21:26

Do you have a contract? Do you have a payroll company who could help with one or are you doing payroll yourself?

Herewegoagain84 · 24/01/2025 21:22

Yes I thought in this situation I would pay the first week of any employee’s sickness out of good will - but the way she’s behaved I feel it should be at my discretion… I sent a message saying that I’m glad she’s ok but also what our expectations are - and perhaps we can chat on Monday. No reply of course…

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Blondeshavemorefun · 24/01/2025 20:22

A bad cold - assuming she wants full pay
for the week

hopefully you have sick pay at the decression of the employer

most nannies stagger in and have tv /sofa day

She sounds rude and yes she should let you know daily if coming in

Vitriolinsanity · 24/01/2025 19:58

Please say you have a contact with terms for reporting absence.

MidnightPatrol · 24/01/2025 09:50

This kind of behaviour is usually a good sign they’ve lost interest in the job.

Time to find a new nanny.

fingerbobz · 24/01/2025 09:50

No, you dont need a policy for this sort of thing

It's basic manners and professionalism

How hard is it to send a bloody whatsapp. Still unwell. Staying at home again.

fingerbobz · 24/01/2025 09:48

No.

Rude and immature and disrespectful attitude

I wouldn't be happy if an employee didn't communicate about their attendance

My boss would expect an update daily. Unless i made it clear, i would be off for the whole week on Monday but this person said they would be back on Wednesday. She should have been in touch on Tuesday afternoon with an update

How are you supposed to plan your own job?

NuffSaidSam · 23/01/2025 23:30

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 23/01/2025 22:46

I'd say I expect a phone call, preferably in the evening to let me know if she's not coming in the following day. No texts, unless she absolutely can't speak.

Why a phone call over a text?

peachystormy · 23/01/2025 23:28

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 23/01/2025 22:46

I'd say I expect a phone call, preferably in the evening to let me know if she's not coming in the following day. No texts, unless she absolutely can't speak.

I agree with this

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 23/01/2025 22:46

I'd say I expect a phone call, preferably in the evening to let me know if she's not coming in the following day. No texts, unless she absolutely can't speak.

CagneyNYPD1 · 23/01/2025 22:36

Herewegoagain84 · 23/01/2025 19:28

Thanks all - it was certainly my assumption that unless you have a sick note for a set period (or she had let me know it was the full week), she should have let me know each day. I would do the same and assumed that was the norm. I’ll have a chat with her, though it’ll be quite awkward as her message was really quite rude…

You are correct re the informing.

You are also correct that her response was rude. How long has she worked for you?

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 23/01/2025 22:28

Totally unacceptable to be arsey.

Herewegoagain84 · 23/01/2025 21:50

NuffSaidSam · 23/01/2025 21:38

It just sounds alike you need to be clearer in your contact/discussions.

Out of interest, what did she say when she called in sick the first time? Was it something you could have assumed she'd have been off with for more than a day? From the way she's behaved it sounds like she thought it was obvious she'd be off for a length of time.

She said she had a bad cold, so I guess I assumed a day or two? It’s been a week, so hoping she’s fully recovered by Monday…!

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NuffSaidSam · 23/01/2025 21:38

Herewegoagain84 · 23/01/2025 19:45

This is the point - the guessing game element. Say I had made the assumption she would still be off and I arranged cover, and then she showed up? Nanny absence is really difficult in the first place let alone not quite being sure what I can or can’t do about it 😬

It just sounds alike you need to be clearer in your contact/discussions.

Out of interest, what did she say when she called in sick the first time? Was it something you could have assumed she'd have been off with for more than a day? From the way she's behaved it sounds like she thought it was obvious she'd be off for a length of time.

godmum56 · 23/01/2025 20:25

if she knows when she will definitely be back then once she has told you that, I wouldn't expect to hear again unless she needed longer off. It would be a good idea (and polite) for her to confirm her return the day before though. If she's not sure, then I would expect to hear daily until she was sure. Basically its like any other employer, you are entitled to know what is going on!

Chasingsquirrels · 23/01/2025 19:51

Of course she needs to let you know daily, unless one of the communications was that she is in hospital and will be off until further notice, and even then I'd expect some updates.

I agree you should have a policy regarding this in her contract, I'd expect that from all employment contracts.

I've been very unwell this week, I messaged my boss daily to let him know. TBH it doesn't really matter whether I'm there or not for a week and I'll catch up.

But a nanny is absolutely essential to their employer.

Herewegoagain84 · 23/01/2025 19:45

chargeitup · 23/01/2025 19:32

In every job I've known it is the responsibility of the employee to let the employer know every day'

It's nit supposed to be some sort of guessing game.

Especially when the employees presence or not deeply affects the employer.

This is the point - the guessing game element. Say I had made the assumption she would still be off and I arranged cover, and then she showed up? Nanny absence is really difficult in the first place let alone not quite being sure what I can or can’t do about it 😬

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stichguru · 23/01/2025 19:44

She needs to let you know everyday unless she has let you know for a block of days. If she has symptoms that clearly won't go in a 24 hours, or that she needs to leave time after like D&V, it's fine to ring on Monday and say "Sorry I've a really high fever, think I'll be out until at least Thursday" then fine if the next contact is Wed eve or Thurs am, but if she's not specifically said that, it needs to be every night or morning.