Would it be unprofessional if....

I have started a new thread for you Rose.

Its a mess Nab and in the 3 years i havent seen him, she has obv worked her way well under his skin..she has something over him wether it be the kids or what? but i do wonder 'if' he wil or wont go back and maybe 'this' is why he's not demanding right now??

That is crap. She would lose the kids if she went to jail for what she did but I don't see why he couldn't move back in to the house and look after them there. Why should she gat everything?

oh yeah and im sure she wouldnt give a flying F* if he was put away or couldnt see the kids had he done it to her!

right!..you want a job doing you do it yourself..just been to mams on way back from aprk and brother called in to get changed..i said "Sooo..whats happening?, are you prosectuing her?, are you going to go back to her?, what are you doing about your holidays(they booked)?..mum stood squirming..he said he has been advised to put a claim in against her for the damage she did?, but his 'advisor'(?) said if he did prosecute because of the circumstances she WOULD have the children removed!!???..he said he 'probably' wouldnt go back to her as he could never forgiv her for what she did so it would always be there and he doesnt know what ELSE shes capable off?..they cancelled one of the hols, but one of them was already paid for so he doesnt know what to do!!!FFS..i said if he went it is NOT making it ok for the kids sake it would be saying to her "i forgive you" and hed be a fool to do that!..he said i know i CAN be a dad and not be there ive realised that now......soooo.fingers crossed..he left and my mum started laughing..she said thats 6 weks information in 5 minutes..ive got nothing to lose so i just ask...i also told him to appreciate my mum more, show her more respect as shes putting him up free out of the goodness of her heart and he should recognise that!..well...might as well get it all in while i was feeling brave

It just doesn't seem fair as he would have been out immediately if he had done it to her.

Nab, he wouldnt make her move out as he thinks(shes prob told him) that it would be more disturbing for the children, plus she works less hours so sshe gets them to school etc wereas db starts about 7am and sometimes doesnt finish until gone 8pm.
TBH we really dont know what kind of 'deal' they may have struck up, so am staying at arms lengh

MM, if not already i would put in future contracts failure to pay fees for up to four weeks then turns into those 4 weeks as notice as you will terminate agreement with full balance outstanding and payable within x amount of days..ive been in similar(mum just 'took' her ds out and knew she needed to work through 6 weeks notice!) i said she had three options..pay full 6 weeks plus the last week in full by tonight(that night), bring him back for the 6 weeks and pay last weeks immediatly or last option wa si would take her to court!..i was rock ard'..she brought him back for 6 weeks, paid his late fee that night and even his last day he was ill and she asked if she could bring him the following week'insted'(meaning can i not pay youf for this day) as mucha s i adord her ds i said no, ive save dyour space today, you need to pay for today, if you want to bring him next week, thats up to you but will be charged at normal fee..she didnt come back just brought money round(actually pushed it through letter box)...there are some funny un's!

Just a word of advice. Every time you accept their late payment ie don't expressly say something preferrably in writing it could be constituted a waiver of your right to rely on their breach when you finally decide enough is enough.

If you want to protect your position, then each time they pay send a note/email saying it is overdue and they are in breach of contract and when they do pay another note stating that although money paid this is not accepted as waiver of the breach.

Or you could just decide they're a bad bet and give them notice.

Rose - is there anyway she can be made to leave the house and your brother could stay there with the kids? If he had done it to her I am sure he would have been out in seconds.

I just felt when I was a nanny if I couldn't gel with the family I wouldn't stay just for the money. It isn't fair on anyone. Sounds a very difficult situation. Being afriad of the dad worries me a bit. That can't be good for you.

sounds like a horrible situation MM..particulary with the parent being so 'unapproachable and you worrying over the consequencs of giving notice

Hi NAB, brother seems to be getting better, his eye has gone down(swelling) loads, it actually looks like a very sore/bad black eye now, lots of blood still on eye ball, but it IS moving around as normal when he looks around, he just cant see anything from it..he has been allowed to drive again tho so they must be happy with it and his appointments are every 4 weeks now..still no news on HEr but its very hostile as far as ive heard(she has rang him and said if he doesnt lie and change the story she will go out and 'get someone else'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..brother in no uncertain terms(and with colourful language my mum said) told her to go as he doesnt want her!..he still sees her when she brings the children to my mums, she has the kids asking my mum if their mummy can come in..mum says no darling, she has to mind the car we dont want someone stealing it do we(my mum lives in a lovely area where this doesnt happen but seems to be a good enough answer for the kids)..his son is suffering, he doesnt know what to do for the best hes a little worrier and is 7 so can prob see what actually is going on..brother still takes son to his sports clubs through the week(tes time) and ses them on a weekend, but it seems to be causing more hassle as SHE starts shouting and cussing(like she did last weekend when the kids went to get out to come in and she told them to get abck on the car..been told even if police take action against her it could be months before we see anything hapening..so will sit tight..im keeping out of it now, he knows what needs doing..you can take a horse to water and all that!...anyway sorry MM for pinching your thread

NotABanana - why else would she be looking after him if not for money?

There often seems to be an attitude that comes up on MN that childminders should only be in it for love and not care about the money. I'm sorry, but I love my job and would not want to change it, but I would not look after someone else's child for 10 hours a day without being paid well for it.

I hadn't realised the boy was the son of the late payer.

How is your brother, Rose?

i think nab is saying he's hard work and although she does fun things and cares for him each day she is glad to get back to her own family at the end of the day..the 'spirit ' of this youngster plus their constant late payments are causing problem after problem, so even small things the child does, may seem bigger in the grand scheme?..i might be wrong?

Why don't you insist on a standing order or direct debit or something? Then the parent doesn't have to remember anything at all. If you accept childcare vouchers then this can happen automatically, can't it?

"I have to say though that if the mindee was my son, I'd want to give up on parenting too!"

So you look after him just for the money then?

A month would not be more realistic. Would you go without your pay for a month?

Because I know I wouldn't, nor would any of my colleagues! In fact we would down tools until payment was in our account.

If you have this clause in your contract maybe if you do monthly/weekly news sheets you could put this in it also, just as a reminder.

I, for one, wouldn't expect my c/minder to work for a month with no payment when I wouldn't!

Maybe you could put it in her contract when it is up for renewal and explain that it is going in everyone's contract as and when they are renewed. And then explain to each parent that you had to do this because you were having problems but not to worry because it wasn't them and you didn't expect to ever need to enforce it.

Agree with Banana. Termination of contract after a few days is too harsh. How would you like it if the gas company cut off your supply because you were 3 days late with you payment.

I think 2 weeks is the a bare minimum. A month would be more realistic.