Would you have an objection to a lesbian aupair?

do your children never hear noises then?

Madamez, I agree on principle, however, I dont want my children to ask me "what are those noises?"

lol at 'if she's a screamer'

Pukka, it's OK to say to an au pair that you do not want overnight guests in the house that you have not met, but if you are prepared to allow friends to stay, WTF has it got to do with you whether or not the au pair is having sex with her guests? What difference does it make? Even if she's a screamer, is that so much more of a problem than the noise or disturbance a non-sexually-involved vistor might make (snoring, farting, using up the hot water, drunken laughter etc)?

im sure your reply was a joke anna888 answer for me would have to be a firm no

i think it could get very complicated.
on principle, no i have no objections, as long as she was qualified to do whatever her other duties were, cleaning childcare etc, i would not allow an aupair to have male guests stay overnight. (my house, my rules.) with a lesbian, i wouldnt want her to have her girlfriends staying overnight, but, how do you tell a girlfriend from a friend who is a girl? hence the complications.

however, this is all theoretical as i would never have an aupair for a gazillion other reasons.

That is quite different from being a lesbian. There are no similarities whatsoever.

Shall we rephrase the question QS - would you mind if your au pair is into bestiality?

Well, I wouldnt give a hoot whether my au pair was attracted to and had sex with men, women, or a tenlegged spider, as long as it doesnt happen under my roof. None of my business.

I'm not really surprised that this questions comes up to be honest. I think most people outwardly seem liberal in their thinking but still secretly harbour the views of the last generation - that homosexuality is a sin, unnatural, disgusting, a lifestyle choice etc. Which is precisely why I keep my sexuality to myself.

I think, like Dottydot says, many lesbians do just have 'normal' lives, it's the high profile gay pride folks that perhaps colour people's views of what a lesbian/gay man is like.

i don't think seeing 18/19 year olds as being wrong for having sex is having values. that is saying that any person of that age having sex is immoral and it's simply not. also just because they are 18/19 it does not mean any relationship would be different to that of a marriage. i have a few friends who are married/engaged at this age and many more who are planning to get married in a few years and have a very much husband/wife like relationship. however i do not think waiting for marriage etc is wrong either. scienceteacher - do you believe in sex before marriage? if not then i suppose i can understand your thinking, because if you are teaching your children sex before marriage is wrong then i can see why you wouldn't want it going on under your roof but the way you put it was that it was the age that was the problem - rather than the not being married. 18 year olds are sometimes married - do you think they should not be having sex either?

exactly madamez

Quattro: well, quite. That's why I said 'in a swingers' club'.

Being a good liberal. I agree with you Madamez of course. I just don't want them having a gangbang in my house.

no

While it's perfectly reasonable to agree ground rules about visitors with au pairs - ie no overnight guests who haven't previously been introduced to the host family ( it is the host family's home and not unreasonable for the host family not to want strangers in the home): au pairs are adults and entitled to have as much sex as they want when off duty. If they want to go and have a gangbang in a swingers' club while off duty then that's their business.

ah ok ingles, I kind of agree with you then

I don't see why an au pair's sexuality would be relevant

Having a rule about not bringing partners into the house or having overnight guests, or seeing partners while caring for the children would be fine and perfectly reasonable imo though.

No of course not

Exactly droopy,...I wouldn't have a homophobic AP either or a racist one for that matter.
Your home is the one place where it's acceptable for you to say what is "the norm" surely.
(and I didn't say anyone with a different religious view is not welcome in my home, but that the extreme religions are not something I'd choose to live with every day)

I also work bloody hard for my home. To be honest no I wouldnt be happy to allow a homophobic AP in my house but the reason is because I wouldnt be happy to let anyone with such strong views on anything that isnt their 'norm' be around me or my dc.

I certainly wouldnt say to anyone with strong religious views that they were not welcome in my home - what makes my views any different to their views and beliefs?! As long as they respect mine and vice versa what the hell does it matter?

good reply ingles2. And it's a matter of personality as well.

I do not know if I would 'have a lesbian in my home' as of course there must be nice and nasty lesbians. It's too ingenious question, droopytits.

Because this is my home, my refuge that I work extremely hard for and because I think to create a harmonious place it's usually a good idea to try and find a good match in terms of views, attitudes etc. The same also goes for an AP.
Surely that's not so hard to understand... Ok..so we both would happily employ a lesbian ÅP,...would you have a homophobic AP in your home?

but why? If they didnt force your children to have the same views what does it matter?

Or do some people think that it isnt acceptable to have a lesbian in their home?

I guess some one asked it droopy because what is acceptable in your home is different to what is acceptable in the outside world.
I personally don't have a problem with sexuality or race but I wouldn't accept an AP with very strong religious views particularly of a none orthodox religion (i.e scientology, mormon etc). Dh and I are atheists and have very happily employed a wonderful muslim CM, but what I'm prepared to deal with on a day to day basis in my home/refuge/castle is a different matter.