Would you have an objection to a lesbian aupair?

so does that mean that all very religious christians who take their beliefs very seriously are homaphobic as they dont believe that two same sex's should live/love togehter?

Simplyme - if your religion states that homosexuality is sinful then I'm afraid it is homophobic. Homophobia doesn't suddenly become ok as long as you claim god told you it is.

Homosexuality isn't a "lifestyle choice" either

rah rah rachel - it seems that people are choosing not to work for a gay couple because it is against their religion! I don't believe that is homophobic. I think if they were to make a big deal out of it and hate them in groups etc etc then that is most def homophobic!

with regards to the black issue if they chose not to work for someone black purely because of that then yes I would prob say it was racist. I don't know of a religion where whites are against black - certainly not christian. Plus I don't think you can compare as gay is a lifestyle choice but you cannot change your skin colour!

Imananny that's really sad about your friend . That is the kind of instance that shows blatant discrimination, if she was interviewed and all looked good until the family was told she was gay.

If they had not interviewed her based on her sexuality, but not actually said that as the reason, I think that is the kind of thing that happens more often. Like when nannies are turned down interviews due to being overweight. All families need to say is "Oh she (or he) doesn't suit our needs"

And nannies say the same thing "Oh it's not quite what I'm looking for"

It's not right but it happens, and I don't see how people's own internal opinions and judgements will change.

That's what I've been saying duchesse. Sexuality should bear no weight in a person's suitability for a job. But even in today's politically (over)correct times, people still have their own feelings and opinions on the matter. And unless a specific job offer is withdrawn/refused on the basis of sexuality I don't see how discrimination can be proved.

I think a nanny can choose not to apply for a job with a family for whatever reasons, just as a family will choose not to interview a type of nanny for whatever reasons. If no specific job is actually denied or refused on the basis of sexuality, gender, race etc then it's going to be hard to prove discrimination, surely?

My sister's housekeeper/ nanny in Thailand is lesbian and is superlatively good. I do not see why sexuality even needs to enter into the equation as long as the person is good.

i get what you mean mananny - us nannies do look at a job (as in an ad) and say no to it for many reasons, could be less salary or long hours or even a gay family

as i said at the beginning of this thread, my friend THINKS she didnt get a job beacuse she is gay,but couldnt prove it - but she has seen them, they liked her and it wasnt till she said she had a girlfriend and then didnt get the job

Simplyme, what if I choose not to work for a black couple? Is that racist?

But if the nanny is just reading Gumtree for example and sees an ad for a job with a gay family, and she chooses NOT to apply for that particular job, is that illegal? No. She or he has chosen not to reply to that ad.

Just as if a family see an ad for a nanny on NJ, and see that she is gay. So they don't bother to contact her.

Neither party has really lost out in this. I mean I feel if they had made contact with each other, interviewed and then discovered that either party was gay, then refused employment or denied the job on that sole basis then yes I do think that is illegal. And morally/politically wrong.

But when looking for jobs or nannies, parents and nannies will automatically discount those which don't suit them, with no contact being made, and in those cases I don't believe anything has been done to constitute discrimination that can be proved in court.

I'm probably not explaining myself very well, but does anyone get what I mean?

mananny - very true - im sure this is why people on gumtree etc ask for a photo as well as a cv - and if a nanny was very overweight she might not get an interview

you can be fat but fit, but i guess as a parent i would wonder if a larger nanny could run after my child/play chase etc

does this make me a weightaphobe

oops - thats what i meant - but dont think i explained it very well

its a tricky one

it is a preference BUT it could also mean they are discrimating against a nanny (if she was gay) - which could cause legal issues if proven

but can work both ways that a religious nanny could be discrimanted ror her beliefs by not working for a gay couple iyswim

Message withdrawn

And I have to say too, that I think more nannies are denied jobs as they are overweight, not because of their sexuality. Is this fair/right? No. But it happens. Parents have a particular type of nanny they want to employ in mind, just as nannies have a particular type of family they would like to work for in mind. There are all types of nannies out there and families out there, and it's horses for courses.

I think homophobia only comes into play when a specific job is actually refused or denied because of a person's sexuality. To choose NOT to apply to work for a gay family, or to choose NOT to offer a job to a gay nanny is not homophobic, it's a preference, surely? If a nanny would rather not work for a known gay family that's up to her, and if a family would rather not employ a gay nanny that's up to them. That doesn't mean it's politically correct. It's just a case of an individual's right to choose the most appropriate job/employer for their own needs/wants. Like I said before I don't believe sexuality should even come into the picture in the workplace, but in the Real World people will still have their own preferences and I don't think it's homophobic unless it is done in a malicious or deliberate way. For example to offer a nanny a job, then withdraw that offer if they then discover she or he is gay. THAT is massively wrong. To merely look for a job or an employer that fits in with your own personal beliefs, and find or discount potential applicants/opportunities before any job offer is on the table happens. Doesn't make it right though.

agree with rahrah it is homaphobic, but I can understand what mananny is saying - my 2 religious friends would prob be the same, as their faith says that loving the same sex is wrong

Why do you have to be homophobic to not work for someone who is gay? The problem with everyone today is they always feel the need to categorize and label people!

If you are uncomfortable working for a gay couple then you should not be condemmed for it!

Actually mananny, I think choosing not to work for someone because of their sexuality is just as bad as choosing not to employ someone because of their sexuality. It's still homophobic.

reqired not requires, sorry!

I have a nanny friend who wouldn't work for a gay couple, as it goes against her own personal religious beliefs. She's a lovely person and a great nanny. She just would prefer not to work in an environment that counters her religion. Her choice and she shouldn't be condemned for it.

no input on the au pair issue - i don't have an au pair and i'm unlikely to ever have an au pair but Christians are requires as part of their religion to spread the gospel, so i don't think Madamez's point was invalid.

whoosh - wouldnt bother me in the slightest - whether 2 woman or 2 men - i know a nanny who works for 2 woman - ahe obviously doesnt have a problem with it either

Just out of interest,I wonder how many nannies would prefer not to work for a gay couple?

i know what you meant simplyme - and I agree with you - but same should apply if anyone had strong beliefs about anything and started ranting about them in an interview

warning bells would ring, same as if an employer to be was ranting about their beliefs - whether sexual or religious

anyone should be able to believe in what they like in their own house, but as simplyme said At the end of the day when you have a childcarer then they should look after and raise your children according to your desires! Wether they are black/white religious/atheist gay/straight doesn't matter as long as your children are well looked after according to your preferences!

Its no point hiring someone who has different values/morals/beliefs then yourself - but does it then make that person a bigist?