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Original poster

Would you have an objection to a lesbian aupair?

291 replies

mishmash · 05/04/2008 14:07

Just curious

OP posts:
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captainmummy · 06/04/2008 10:07

Of course I don't think that way about gays (or anyone) but I know people who do...even if they don't realise it. They are the same people who think women are second-class, blacks are third class, gays and lesbians only think of sex....we all know someone like that. (BTW my best-friends' brother is gay..another lovely friend is black...) and fwiw I think male aupairs are fab. I don;t have one myself but I know a single mother who 'imports' hers from the czech republic and they are usually great with her dc - a male figure I suppose.

charliegal · 06/04/2008 10:07

yes please delete the thread title.

hecate · 06/04/2008 10:06

I would not give a rats arse whether they were gay or straight - as long as they weren't copulating with their partner of choice in front of or in earshot of the kids it would be none of my business.

charliegal · 06/04/2008 10:03

i am a lesbian mum and i find your thread title very offensive and sad.you are 'just curious'?
How would you feel about a black au pair- your question is that offensive.
It is also now illegal to discriminate or as you put it 'object' to people on the grounds of sexuality.

yorkishbirdy · 06/04/2008 09:55

Flight and CM, do you think people really think that way (about gay men I mean) that is a terrible way to look at a person!

ScienceTeacher · 06/04/2008 07:42

I always have young au pairs - I don't think jumping into bed makes for a good role model for my children.

branflake81 · 06/04/2008 07:36

ScienceTeacher - how can you say you would prefer your au pair not to be sexually active? Surely that has no bearing on his/her ability to look after the children? Little unreasonable, imho.

captainmummy · 05/04/2008 19:34

I agree Flight - they also think that a gay may 'indoctrinate' the child into being gay. Like you can 'teach' it, or 'catch' it.

ImflightbutIcantlogintoday · 05/04/2008 17:39

Some people probably have some kind of link in their minds that equates someone being gay with someone who is interested in their children in an inappropriate way. I can picture a couple refusing a gay man as nanny saying 'but we have boys'
I don't know where this 'connection' comes from, but I am pretty sure it happens.

imananny · 05/04/2008 16:02

interesting question imo

I have a gay nanny friend - she normally mentions it at 2nd interview, some famillies go back to agency and show/share their disgust, others are happy she was honest and offered her the job.

it shouldnt make a difference what sexuality the au pair/nanny is ,as long as loved and cared for the children

but you wouldnt want either gay or straight canoodling when looking after your children

would anyone object to a gay male one?

TheFallenMadonna · 05/04/2008 15:18

I don't think the OP was stereotyping au pairs by sex nor implying sexual activity.

I don't have an au pair, but their sexuality wouldn't bother me. For some reason I've always thought I'd prefer a man though.

ScienceTeacher - would a chaste lesbian be OK?

Nighbynight · 05/04/2008 15:13

au pair is not like any other job, as the person is living in your home.

but no of course I wouldnt have any objections, to the OP. total non-news.

ImflightbutIcantlogintoday · 05/04/2008 15:11

I start completely ridiculous threads all the time and am always offending people. Really
Sorry. No sleep last night!

ImflightbutIcantlogintoday · 05/04/2008 15:09

No no it's fine, really it is, no need, it's so not defensive-worthy in the scheme of things, really just ignore me I am being daft
I completely understand you didn't mean it to sound like that.

Original poster
mishmash · 05/04/2008 15:07

Imflight - apologies I guess it was a bit thoughtless on my part to start such a thread. Will ask HQ to delete.

OP posts:
ImflightbutIcantlogintoday · 05/04/2008 14:49

Sorry Mish I get defensive as a matter of course whenever someone points out the fact that anyone is a lesbian etc, it just is something close to home, but really, why even question it - it feels to me like someone starting a thread about 'would you object to a black au pair' or something like that. Why would anyone really, iyswim!

QuintessentialShadows · 05/04/2008 14:48

I would find a lesbian au pair rather reassuring, at least she would not try run off with my DH. My dh is hot, and I am not.

Maybe I should state that as a necessity if I ever have one again?

motherinferior · 05/04/2008 14:48

oooh, d'you remember whoever it was who found her au pair in full flagrante with her (male) partner on the living room floor one evening?

I would feel miffed, I think, at the enviable display of youthful sexuality. And even more by the display of firm young flesh

hercules1 · 05/04/2008 14:46

I wouldnt want an aupair to be snogging the face off anyone when looking after the children. Sexuality isnt the issue here.

Original poster
mishmash · 05/04/2008 14:41

Firstly I have absolutely no objection at all and didn't mean to be offensive either - so I apologise if I came across like that.

And maybe I should have given the reason for my curiousity in my OP.

I have an ex aupair here at the moment on holidays with her best friend who has stayed with us numerous times in the past. They are very affectionate towards each other and in the past I thought it was a case of best friends missing each other but I think it is a bit more than that.

They make a cute couple and if they are then I would have never have guessed it until now and it just got me thinking and as Chamaleon said as long as someone wasn't in your face about it then I wouldn't have any objections.

OP posts:
LordGodAlmighty · 05/04/2008 14:31

Judge not, lest you be judged.

ImflightbutIcantlogintoday · 05/04/2008 14:31

Oh FGS.

not even worth replying.

Thought I'd try some nice patterns out though.

yorkishbirdy · 05/04/2008 14:31

hmm, ok, I am reserving my right to be offended pending further information!

For the record I do not think an employee's sexuality is any business of anyone unless it directly conflicts with the job they have to do (and I can't think of a single occasion where it would off the top of my head).

hercules1 · 05/04/2008 14:31

No, mishmash. I would have no objection at all.

WanderingTrolley · 05/04/2008 14:28

LGA - fantastic name

Obv you're v against all homosexuality, unless you've been very badly misquoted.