I have been a regular poster for years but have changed my name as I don't want to be identified in my local area for the reasons you will see below.
We live in an area of small villages. 3 years ago my DS used to be childminded. The first childminder we used turned out to have a house so dirty we had to take DS out. When I say dirty I mean so dirty it was a health hazard and Ofsted have since warned her about her standards of cleanliness. The second was an older lady whose house was lovely and clean. On face value she seemed great and had many years experience. However she took an instant dislike to me and I later found out to DS too. She had an adult son with ADHD who had been deemed by ofsted to be ok to be around kids, but which I later found out had been calling my little 3 year old Ds things like dipshit and dick head. She also used to smack him but all this I only found out after Ds stopped going there as he never mentioned anything and apart from becoming a little bit clingier, didn't change that much and never said he didn't want to go. It breaks my heart even now to think of how they treated him.
I later met another mum at the school gates that I became friends with and it transpires her MIL was also a CM. She was actually present when this CM was complaining about me saying how I didn't iron DS's clothes and that DS sometimes had hair on his clothes. Well at the time I was working lots of hours and we had a dog. so what? Ds was and still is one of the happiest, well cared for children you can meet. The mum from school only remembered this because I have an unusual name and because she was so nasty about me.
DS has been going to a friend for years and has been happy but my friend has been taken suddenly ill and can't look after him anymore. I have just started a new job with unsympathetic bosses and need childcare straight away so I have had to turn to the CM clique again. I found a lovely one today who seemed really happy to have Ds, where she lives is perfect (I don't drive so need to get him there in the morning) and DS got on well with her DS. She said she needed to call another CM friend as Ds would be her first ever charge and she wanted to check some info on paperwork but that she would have him on Mon. However 2 hours after she called me saying she can't have Ds after all as her insurance hasn't come through and it is going to take up ti 3 months to come through. I said ok, if I found someone else in the mean time could she have him once her insurance had come through and she said she couldn't say as she did not know what would be happenning then and seemed really unkeen to ever have DS.
So my long winded point is, do cm's have this sort of list. The CM's where I live are all very close and my old CM was so venemous about me that it wouldn't surprise me if I have for some reason got a bad name even though I was always a good payer and reliable. This new CM knew that my DH used to be in the army, yet she had never met me so obviously tongues have been wagging. I feel so stressed because work are threatening to sack me because of this, and very upset that I have done nothing wrong yet these CM's seem to have decided they don't want anything to do with me or DS
I applaud you if you have got this far. I am so sorry for the long story but I wanted to give all the background and would love some answers!