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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

London mums working long hours - how do you manage childcare?

105 replies

Ceramic272 · 24/03/2024 16:53

I’m only(!) 4 months pregnant, so this is all VERY very contingent - but after some conversations with some older friends, I’m thinking ahead to how we might manage childcare in London and feeling totally at sea.

DH and I both work your stereotypical corporate (read not very child friendly) jobs… However we do both love our work/are on good tracks. I’ll need to go back full time maybe around 9months (we will try and share some parental leave though I’ll do the bulk). SAHM/ part time isn’t on the table for various reasons, nor is a longer mat leave really an option in my job (so please please don’t start a debate on any of those/tell me to change jobs! It’s difficult enough to make it in my industry as a woman as it is :/.)

So the main options then are a nursery or nanny. It seems a nursery would be “cheaper” ( maybe around 25k a year?), and I like the idea of “socialisation” I guess, but obviously they all end 630pm latest. Frustratingly both our jobs can be unreliable and end much later in the day, with longish commutes, so I worry this will cause significant stress between us ducking out of meetings/constantly trying to decide whose turn it is to dip out for pick up etc.

So the obvious option is a nanny- and the more senior women I work with who have children all use this - but I’m just stunned at the costs! Am I right in thinking it’s going to be 50-60k per year all in? :s We could manage but with all other mortgage costs etc we’d basically not be saving much/anything at all..

Are there any ways to manage this better- eg 3-4 days a week nanny/1-2 days a week nursery? (as we can each wfh 1 day a week- but I don’t know if nannies are keen to work part time..). Or has anyone tried nursery plus say an an au pair/nanny evening wraparound to give some flexibility? (Is that even an option?) And where is the best place to find nannies - is it simplest to go through an agency first (and which one?) I’d love to hear tips from other London folk in similar job positions on the best ways to manage!

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KentishMama · 24/03/2024 17:11

I work in a very corporate job with long days.

One of the best thing I did was to work compressed hours for the first year after returning to work. This means I basically worked 4 extra long days (but not much longer than pre baby because I was working such insane days), and I had one day a week off to spend with the baby. At full-time pay.

And also DH and I shifted working hours a bit, so he started work early. I was in charge of all morning nursery drop offs, which means he could end early and be in charge of all pickups. It worked with the time zones that we each interfaced with most at work.

However ... There's a big issue that you might not be very aware of yet. And that's how much time babies spend being sick when they first start nursery and/or socialise with other children. There wasn't a month in the first 2-3 years where DS didn't have a chest infection, D&V Bug, random unexplained fever, Hand Foot and Mouth, or whatever. (We vaccinated for chickenpox, so didn't even have to contend with that.) I don't know what the deal is with nannies, but nurseries obviously won't take sick kids. DH and I took turns staying home on these occasions, and it was quite a killer.

Spaceracers · 24/03/2024 17:02

Unless you are prepared to pay for a nanny (and are happy to put your child in someone else's care for longer hours) you need to change the way you work - you and your DH will need to take it in turns to finish at 5/5.30pm to collect and do bedtime etc. and then you log back on at 8pm.

It means you get very little downtime.

MidnightPatrol · 24/03/2024 17:01

Honestly, you need a nanny if you want very long hours. You’ll have to pay them a fortune though - 8-6 five days a week is already 50 hours (think £40-50k cost to you).

Having multiple ‘types’ of childcare is IMO way too complicated for you to remain sane while in a very intense job. Have you looked at childminders - there basically aren’t any local to us in London (I assume due to cost of housing).

We both have full time jobs in London and ultimately we have both had to adapt our routines and push back a bit to make the standard nursery hours work. And we often work after bedtime, if required.

IMO it’s ok to push back on this a bit nowadays, so long as you are still offering flexibility.

Assuming you are probably both lawyers? This is why people often end up with one person going I -house where the hours are better.

BendingSpoons · 24/03/2024 16:58

One possible option is a nanny share with another family. Not necessarily easy to arrange, but reduces the costs significantly. Lots of nannies do work part time, particularly if they are doing long days, as 3x12 hour days is pretty much full time anyway. I don't know if that makes it harder to find someone though.

Ceramic272 · 24/03/2024 16:56

Also just to add- this was triggered by a neighbour saying she signed her current 1 year old up for all the local nurseries when she was 4 months pregnant, and he’s only just got accepted into one.. which again is another stress that childcare just won’t even be available! (We live in a very nappy valley area so tons of demand..)

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