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Original poster

Getting Advice via Internet Forums - Employers of Nannies, Nannies, Childminders etc.

60 replies

nannynick · 26/03/2008 11:46

Someone posting information on a website, asking for advice about a situation, happens often.
Sometimes that person is an employer, sometimes they are a childcare provider.
If no one is able to connect that persons message, with RL... then there isn't a great issue. But sometimes those in the know, can connect the message with RL.
Is there a soluition to that? We all like to be able to discuss things with our Mumsnet friends. The CAT system is terribly slow (as it's a human), and we may not know our Mumsnet friends in RL, so only have their Mumsnet username as a means of contact.
Posting about a situation at work - can be very educational for others. Such as a childminder posting about problems getting parents to pay on time, will result in other people saying what has worked for them in the past. Employers of nannies will ask for advice about how to handle a situation, be it redundancy, a nanny who is often sick, or what gift/bonus to give at Xmas.
What is the soluition? If people don't discuss things then they bottle it up and it explodes at a later date!

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JennaJ · 26/03/2008 12:54

TWIGLET- I Hate to point this out but I am a parent aswell as a nanny I have also been a nanny employer too in the past...so although you seem to have taken a dislike to me I would like to think I have as much right as anyone else to being on a parents forum!!

AtheneNoctua · 26/03/2008 12:44

I think nannies are perfectly welcome on mumsnet. Just as I expect to be welcome to post on nannyjob. I don't think this is about nannies vs. employers rights. I think the issue is when someone types personal real life information about someone else. That is inapproriate. I think if you want to reaveal details about yourself that's fine. But, don't do it about someone else.

Although I am curious about how the nanny worked out the employer's new screenname since the employer thinks it's not at all obvious... makes me wonder if nanny was snooping round employers computer... but then I don't know that so I'm just speculating (probably should shut up now)

Twiglett · 26/03/2008 12:44

of course the entire internet is an open book .. but we, who inhabit forums, like to pretend it isn't

Twiglett · 26/03/2008 12:43

but I wonder whether the etiquette is that a parents site is first and foremost for parents and a nanny one first and foremost for nannies

I am not for a minute trying to intimate that non-parents are not welcome here

but in terms of etiquette, if a parent went on a nanny site to find posts from their childcare giver then they would be acting immorally / unethically.

Original poster
nannynick · 26/03/2008 12:40

Trouble with posting on a nannies forum, is that an employer of that nanny may visit that forum and read their messages.
Nanny forums are just as public as Mumsnet.

OP posts:
Twiglett · 26/03/2008 12:32

Possibly

Nannies posting about nanny issues should possibly consider posting on a nanny forum, of which there are plenty .. unless attempting to solicit advice from Parents

Nannies posting about childcare issues and wanting parental advice should continue to post on Mumsnet

Mums (and Dads) talking about childcare issues should post on Mumsnet

Jenna I'm sorry but I do not believe you have any right to take any 'highground' here ... snooping and posting on the thread were both highly suspect actions

JennaJ · 26/03/2008 12:27

Think I had best keep out of this one..Im in enough trouble already

No really though. Its great to be able to post for advice on places like mumsnet but you have to be very very careful that if you are talking about someone who comes here that you don't make it obvious who you are posting about as I have seen it can be very hurtful to the person it is talking about!

Jenna

Original poster
nannynick · 26/03/2008 12:11

Agree... but even namechanging and tweeking the details, may mean that someone can identify either themselves, or a friend.
It's a tricky one isn't it. I wouldn't want someone not to post a question, just because their employee/employer may read it. We all need help from time to time, and getting different peoples prospectives on a topic, especially prospectives of people we don't know, can help us decide how we will handle whatever it is we are needing help with.

OP posts:
ShinyDysonHereICome · 26/03/2008 12:06

It's a tricky one really.

I think namechanging and altering the details of the situation are somewhat essential to protect the identity of those involved and prevent someone reading about themselves online!

AtheneNoctua · 26/03/2008 12:01

I think Mumsnet ediquette would be to not come on here and put personal real life details about another mumsnettter unless he/she has specifically asked you to do so.

Of course childminders and nanny employers use this as an invaluable resourse for support and advice. I know I would be a much worse nanny employer if it hadn't been for these boards.