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Original poster

Au-pair smells (well reeks quite frankly) and too embarassed and english to say anything

41 replies

Quattrocento · 24/03/2008 21:48

It is quite gaggingly revolting in a corner of the Quat house. The au-pair's room gets cleaned every week and the sheets changed too.

I think the issue is a lack of deodorant compounded by an unwillingness to wash clothes. The smell is creeping down the stairs. It is horrible and I am just too embarassed to say anything.

How on earth do I broach this?

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Original poster
Quattrocento · 24/03/2008 22:12

Oh I like that idea. DD can be a bit awkward about baths and showers. I think airfresheners are a must too. I like the idea of being open and honest about it but am worried about hurting his feelings because other than this ishoo he is perfect in every way.

OP posts:
Bubble99 · 24/03/2008 22:09

And the importance of wearing clean clothes, too.

Bubble99 · 24/03/2008 22:09

Quattro. I would use one of the kids as an excuse. Tell him that X doesn't enjoy/want to take baths or showers and that you're teaching him/her the importance of being clean. Tell the au pair that you and DH/DP are being sure to bath shower daily and can he do the same.

madamez · 24/03/2008 22:09

Whose agreed job is it in the house to do the laundry? If it's his, talk him through it step by step and tell him politely that this is part of his job, if it's you that does it, knock on the door every time you are laundering and say, 'Can I have your washing now please?' Also, why not get him to take the DC swimming? And while he's out doing that, fill his room with air fresheners.

poppy34 · 24/03/2008 22:04

how about doing a bit of an english slang lesson and teaching him the phrase " soap dodging" -agree with lynette - just dress it up as a chat about house rules and think of it that way as you'd not be so awkward if he was not pulling his weight other ways

Original poster
Quattrocento · 24/03/2008 22:03

He has his own shower room which is just astonishingly clean and unused. Maybe I should ask him about the towels in there? Maybe I can get the children to say something? They'd almost certainly preface it with "Mummy says ..." and there's a perfectly good relationship blown to blazes ...

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 24/03/2008 22:03

you knock on his door and say, 'Excuse me, can we have a word?'

Then you say, 'I hope you can understand, this is all very embarrassing and I hate to have to bring it up, but we're actually a little concerned about you. See, we've noticed that you don't wash often and you've got a bad odour.'

CristinaTheAstonishing · 24/03/2008 22:00

It's difficult to tell someone they smell, though, Expat. Just how do you say it?

LynetteScavo · 24/03/2008 22:00

Surely he does your washing?... So knows how to use the machine? If not show him, and just say you are very fussy, and like cleanlyness, alot, and he needs to fit in.

Have the children said anything to him? Mine would.

CristinaTheAstonishing · 24/03/2008 21:59

Could you say something like "We need to organise a rota for using the shower in the morning so we all get a chance without being late for work. What do you mean don't worry you don't use it?"

expatinscotland · 24/03/2008 21:58

boak.

i would tell him point blank he is smelly.

rookiemater · 24/03/2008 21:57

Err our house is too big to get an au pair, but I believe that the general premise is that they are meant to help you with the housework, not add to your washing load ?

Sorry realise not in the least bit helpful, hope you get it sorted out.

Original poster
Quattrocento · 24/03/2008 21:54

She is a he. I have never ever met anyone so incompetent at looking after themselves. I mean I could buy a girl toiletries without causing offence but a man? It's not easy. I literally had to hold my nose going into his room today. I cleaned his windows - I thought that might make things better. I think I am going to have to offer to do his washing.

OP posts:
Bubble99 · 24/03/2008 21:54

Just tell her.

Say that you're teaching the children that being clean and wearing clean clothes is an important thing.

nancy75 · 24/03/2008 21:53

i agree, buy her deodorant and leave it somewhere very obvious in her room.

LynetteScavo · 24/03/2008 21:51

Buy her some toiletries, including deoderant, and just be blunt and tell her to wash clothes.

Is she a water saving German?