christmas bonuses

Our AU pair has not ackowleged any of out childrens birthdays, its so disappointing because we all like her. A brithday card would have been perfect. At first I thought she just overlooked DD,s Birthday because she was only with us a couple of weeks. We all made a big effort for her b'day with cake and meal out, which we also asked her friend along she was really grateful, now she has just ignored DS's bithday. Our previous A-P sent on cards for the children ( which is nice thought)

I know some people don't celebrate birthdays and I wouldn't like to encourage the idea that one is entitled to a present or that anyone not giving a present is in the wrong.

However I think birthdays are an important part of growing up - its a learning experience in many ways. I am saddened that a child-carer would fail to acknowledge a child's birthday, I would have thought a greeting card appropriate.

re bonuses for Childminders -
LOL Kanga, I thought my 3 tins (for me & family) were a lot! I was very pleased (and surprised) to get a £20 Next voucher from one family. I've never received a cash bonus and don't expect to in the future. I do charge holiday pay over the Christmas week though.

I don't really remember if she verbally wished them happy birthday, I suppose she probably did. She is very busy at the moment as she works full time nannying for another family as well (does them in the afternoon and my kids in the morning), is renovating a flat and is planning her wedding. However, I still don't think that excuses not picking up even a little book or a few chocolates at the corner store. She could even have said, "oh I'm so sorry I didn't have time to get you something...I'll pick up a little gift on the weekend." I'm more perplexed than angry. I don't really know why she didn't get them a present. Even our lodger who is 23 and has noooo money managed to pick them up a little book each. The only other issues I've had with her have been related to her being rushed and trying to do her personal things while she's supposed to look after the children (ie phone calls and errands with the kids in tow). I think she just took too much on.

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SofiaAmes I don't blame you that is so my goodness I can't believe that

That is so awful, I am shocked

How could someone do that?

Kanga, I have both a nanny and a childminder and nursery and afterschool program. It's a working mother's nightmare. And yes out of all of them, the Nanny was the only one who ignored the childrens' birthdays! I am going to give her notice on friday.

I just felt that as the friends DH was always boasting to anyone that would listen about his huge bonus it would have been kind to share it out.

I guess I was being a bit silly

Yes, as a childminder I am self employed and that is the way I like it . Also I choose who I want to look after

kanga, "bonuses" vary - Dh gets a "huge" bonus, but it is effectively part of his salary. If he were to change industry he would get a larger basic salary but smaller (if any) bonus. The bonuses are usually performance related as well - it would be unusual for someone in industry to get a huge bonus just because it is Christmas.

As to why c/ms don't often get bonuses, I guess I also see bonuses as something that employees receive, whereas c/ms are usually running their own business. Agree its unfair (and if it helps I did always give my nanny both a Christmas and annual bonus).

I gave our evil nanny whom I sacked a month's wages as bonus. The 13th month is more or less expected here. Sadly (before anyone asks!) I don't get a bonus of any kind!

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Binkie - what do you give for a "proper" bonus. Is that expected? I gave our nanny £150 - she has been with us for 11 months and will get a payrise in a month. Should I give her an annual bonus too? I kind of wasn't planning on it. Is just a Christmas one ok?

do you mean you have a nanny now and she doesn't even give a cardto your children?

That is awful

Like I said before I don't understand some parents like some friends of mine the DH always got a huge bonus at christmas BUT never gave any to the childminder although she had looked after their DD for years. WHY?

I give the cleaner a week's wages.

I give the childminder (who has looked after both of mine since they were babies) a carefully thought out gift every year that costs around £40-£60. I am fairly sure that she prefers the thought and care that goes into the present, to receiving the equivalent (or even more) in money.

Gave ds's afterschool carers a gift each from the usa as they are really wonderful to him.

I didn't give the nanny anything as she didn't even bother to give my children a birthday card (forget about a gift) on their birthdays and she is supposedly our friend as well as their nanny.

@ KMc chocs/biscuits

As I only have one mindee I got a huge box of shortbread from M & S

I am not bothered about not having money as a bonus but to the parents who do get one with their job

why do they NOT want to give one to their childminder or nanny??????

I now have 16 (yes 16)boxes of biscuits/chocolates..... Hmmm - obviously no-one thinks I'm over weight... or do they think I'm that big I must eat all day

Pay rise and a digital radio for the nanny (worth about 80 quid), but I pay out a bonus when I get my bonus. Cleaner got 40 quid M&S vouchers and babysitter got a bottle of champagne...... I probably owe the nanny more, but was very hassled before Xmas and will compensate on her bonus (which will probably be 150 quid).

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Hi Lisalisa, so glad to hear that things are working out for you. I've been wondering how it was going. Sorry I haven't bothered to ask until someone else brought it up.

Yes, Lisalisa has a nanny AND an au pair...

Oh, and I sooooo agree with your point that "nanny experience" doesn't always equate to better nanny.

BAck to the topic... well, our funds are rather tight this year. We bought her a DVD player for her room, but didn't give an actualy bonus.

If I had a cleaner (something I dream about often!) who put in a plug for cash, she'd be lucky to get anything. It is rude for ANYONE to ask for something specific. Where are people's manners? If someone buys you a gift, you should just say thankyou and smile.

Our Au Pair went home for three weeks we sent her home with lots of nice pressies for her and her family. she's turned out to be a nice girl but we find it strange that she never acknowledges any of the childrens brithdays or christmas, we would never expect anything more than a birthday card or a nice acknowledgment.

Different job but can I ask about cleaner's xmas presents? Ours has only been cleaning for us for a month (my first cleaner!) and she made it clear in a not so subtle way today that she would prefer cash to a pressie!!(actually she said, out of the blue, xxxx (my friend) gave me a lovely xmas present today - money to buy something for myself). I almost had to pick myself up from the floor for the bare faced cheek but she is a very straight talking woman . Anyway, I have given her a nice box of chocs and Eu25 - we pay her Eu 40 p.w. Have I been stingy?

lisalisa, I'm sorry to be so nosey, but do you have a nanny and an au pair? Do they do different jobs? I'm just curious

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lisalisa, yes I would say you should get her a present for when she comes back - since she's only been with a short time, I would go for smallish "thought" present, along lines of nice bottle of wine or pampering stuff. (If she's nice, she'll probably bring back little tokens for the children, so good to be prepared with reciprocal things.)

How are things going? I know you have had some difficult times with her predecessors.

I gave J (she comes to the house four half days a week) £50, but she doesnt get any pay for the days she doesnt work so I felt it was the least I could do over Xmas.