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Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

In shock after visit to childminders

182 replies

luw7797 · 13/11/2023 12:03

Just posting this cause I need a rant really but I just can’t believe what happened when my partner and I visited a childminders this morning! My DD is 10 months and we have decided to send her to a childminders two days a week as I’m doing a degree. We went for a look around at one that my friends little girl attends this morning. The lady seemed nice but she had a dog which actually tried to BITE my child. The dog was in the playroom with all the children and so I assumed it would be fine to let DD crawl up to it, she didn’t hit it or anything just put her hand out towards it and it snapped and had her hand in its mouth. The skin isn’t broken but there are marks, I can’t be 100% sure whether they are from the dog but I’m going to call the gp when DD wakes up from her nap. The dog then went on to growl at the other children so clearly it must do this all day long. I just can’t believe this woman keeps the dog around the children when it clearly doesn’t like it and one day it’s going to really hurt a child! She didn’t do anything when the dog went for DD, she just said oh did she fall on the dog and I said no the dog snapped at her and she didn’t say anything.

There were also about a million choking hazards floating round the place! Tiny little parts of toys here there and everywhere. You’d think a childcare setting that takes on children as young as 6 months would be careful to remove choking hazards surely?

I just can’t believe it, it’s really shaken me and made me question whether childcare is the right route to go or if I should drop out of my degree until DD is older. This was the first childminder weve visited so hopefully the next one is very different.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Bertiesmum3 · 14/11/2023 19:18

BadSkiingMum · 13/11/2023 12:28

Has she had the tetanus vaccine? DTaP.

I think it’s part of the schedule for under ones.

The dog never broke the skin, so no need to panic about a tetanus vaccine 🤣

AuntMarch · 13/11/2023 21:30

The first one i visited, I cried when I left at the thought of leaving my baby there.
We ended up with one we both loved. Don't use this one, obviously, but don't let it throw all of your future plans out of the window either!

chillin12 · 13/11/2023 21:15

I agree @MayThe4th.
Childcare is a business first. Only the child’s own parents would have the upmost best interests for them (presumably). They would have the freedom and choice in bringing up their children in the way they want, and have 100% say.

luw7797 · 13/11/2023 20:30

CuboidsAndSpheres · 13/11/2023 20:10

Expect for the swearing, this was my experience as an older child going to a childminders.

There are devoted childminders, but nursery is generally a safer bet as a pp has explained well. I couldn't trust one person, knowing they're not alone and are fed up of watching 5 toddlers, to do a good job.

Yes she also said she lets the children watch “something related to the days activities on CBeebies each day” which I feel like was probably a long winded way of saying she sits them in front of the tv for an hour a day. Not really what I wanted as we are trying (although not always successfully) to do zero screen time.

OP posts:
CuboidsAndSpheres · 13/11/2023 20:10

Yippezippie · 13/11/2023 17:48

I put my child into nursery after a childminder experience. Walked into a room with a child sat watching tv like a zombie, massive nappy and snot running down face. Was told kids like watching tv.
Then random man sat there and apparently helps look after the kids. I asked had he had all the background checks down as she had, I assumed, got sworn at!

Expect for the swearing, this was my experience as an older child going to a childminders.

There are devoted childminders, but nursery is generally a safer bet as a pp has explained well. I couldn't trust one person, knowing they're not alone and are fed up of watching 5 toddlers, to do a good job.

CuboidsAndSpheres · 13/11/2023 20:06

Take her out and do not look back.

If you're recently started and get a grant, you should be able to only pay for the times she's attended.

Nursery next, maybe.

arabellaL · 13/11/2023 19:57

Another one saying report!

jesshomeEd · 13/11/2023 19:07

Reugny · 13/11/2023 18:02

Only people who have been DBS checked.

My CM lived with her adult children and husband. All have to be DBS checked though her husband's job required enhanced DBS checking anyway. The children worked, and met their friends outside the house during the week. (I used my CM for 4 years so observed a few things by accident. )

This is one reason why CM's visit one another, and like going out and about.

Casual visitors don't need to be DBS checked, the CM just can't leave them unsupervised with the children.

You only need to get visitors DBS checked if they are regular eg a weekly cleaner, the MIL who comes round twice a week.

Bumble1993 · 13/11/2023 18:41

Reugny · 13/11/2023 18:10

No it isn't.

I've heard horror stories about nurseries like giving children food they are allergic to repeatedly then Ofsted ignoring complaints even though on the last occasion one of the children ended up in hospital. Force feeding young children. Shouting at children to make them cry (- though to be fair all childcare workers can do that). Allowing a toddler to escape then run along a pavement of a very busy road and only luckily discovered by a parent.

In fact my DD's nursery were trying to force her to have cow's milk when she was intolerant to it as my DP or I had not signed some document. (My DD just refused.) There as her childminder took my word on it that she was intolerant and didn't. It helped that the childminder had dealt with other intolerant toddlers and small children so knew the signs.

Also childminders like nurseries have to be Ofsted registered and follow the Early Years Foundation Framework.

With the deepest respect - thats why I said ‘in my honest opinion’ because it’s my opinion and I’m entitled to that. As you are to yours.
These forums are just that. A ‘forum’ for thoughts and opinions of other mums with different experiences which is what makes them wonderful melting pots.
I was discussing my perspective from a general perspective and a specific bad nursery/ bad childminder.
I’m sorry if you felt offended. Really not my intention.

MayThe4th · 13/11/2023 18:25

I think the reality is that the best solution is if people can be stay at home parents and look after their children themselves.

But unfortunately we now live in a society where families are unable to survive on just one wage (although the rate at which childcare costs are going up that may be about to change) and where many women risk losing their career prospects if they stay at home, and so for the most part they feel they have to settle for the next best alternative.

Let’s face it, nurseries are there to turn a profit. They’re about making money first and looking after children as a means to make money. That doesn’t mean that some aren’t decent and don’t do the right thing by the kids, but it is still about the money.

And most childminders are stay at home parents who want to earn a living while they bring up their own children, and who for the most part can’t wait to stop once their kids are older.

Reugny · 13/11/2023 18:10

Bumble1993 · 13/11/2023 17:54

In my honest opinion nursery is better. Children benefit from workers who get breaks and peer supervision. Imagine having a house full of other people’s kids with no break not even go to the toilet easily?

Nursery staff carry the load of childcare and you know children are supervised when staff go to the loo or take a call or speak to parents as they’re an other staff members. They also usually follow a nursery curriculum.

Nursery staff can leave to blow off steam, put their heads together to overcome difficulties and are ultimately accountable to each other.

I’m sure there are some wonderful child minders out there but from my experience seeing many at toddler groups/soft plays/ days out they are very harassed individuals who aren’t always able to meet their little charges needs due to workload and stress.

No it isn't.

I've heard horror stories about nurseries like giving children food they are allergic to repeatedly then Ofsted ignoring complaints even though on the last occasion one of the children ended up in hospital. Force feeding young children. Shouting at children to make them cry (- though to be fair all childcare workers can do that). Allowing a toddler to escape then run along a pavement of a very busy road and only luckily discovered by a parent.

In fact my DD's nursery were trying to force her to have cow's milk when she was intolerant to it as my DP or I had not signed some document. (My DD just refused.) There as her childminder took my word on it that she was intolerant and didn't. It helped that the childminder had dealt with other intolerant toddlers and small children so knew the signs.

Also childminders like nurseries have to be Ofsted registered and follow the Early Years Foundation Framework.

Nounderwireplease · 13/11/2023 18:07

Sounds frightening for you OP and very off putting as a first experience of childminders.

My advice would be to go to a nursery or nanny. There is so much oversight at a nursery that you just don’t get with a childminder. There are always several staff members present with the children, staff do not change nappies alone etc.

I once visited a childminder who lived with her dad…the kids had to go in the garden while the dad napped as he was a taxi driver. No joke.

I would never trust a dog with children. It’s not worth the risk. I don’t understand people who have dogs as pets let alone think it’s appropriate to have them in a childminder setting.

Hope you find the right childcare for you and DD.

Reugny · 13/11/2023 18:02

PlatinumPantaloons · 13/11/2023 17:06

Mine were in nursery, obviously this CM is unsuitable and actually dangerous and I’m sure most are fine. What always put me off is however great someone is as it’s a private residence as well as a business can they just have visitors round? Does anyone know?

Only people who have been DBS checked.

My CM lived with her adult children and husband. All have to be DBS checked though her husband's job required enhanced DBS checking anyway. The children worked, and met their friends outside the house during the week. (I used my CM for 4 years so observed a few things by accident. )

This is one reason why CM's visit one another, and like going out and about.

Reugny · 13/11/2023 17:54

Mischance · 13/11/2023 15:24

Ah .... never the dog's fault but the fault of a 10 month old!

Lord above. So glad you have reported this.

It is the fault of the dog owner.

You don't leave a dog around small children if you aren't paying close attention to them.

Bumble1993 · 13/11/2023 17:54

In my honest opinion nursery is better. Children benefit from workers who get breaks and peer supervision. Imagine having a house full of other people’s kids with no break not even go to the toilet easily?

Nursery staff carry the load of childcare and you know children are supervised when staff go to the loo or take a call or speak to parents as they’re an other staff members. They also usually follow a nursery curriculum.

Nursery staff can leave to blow off steam, put their heads together to overcome difficulties and are ultimately accountable to each other.

I’m sure there are some wonderful child minders out there but from my experience seeing many at toddler groups/soft plays/ days out they are very harassed individuals who aren’t always able to meet their little charges needs due to workload and stress.

Yippezippie · 13/11/2023 17:48

I put my child into nursery after a childminder experience. Walked into a room with a child sat watching tv like a zombie, massive nappy and snot running down face. Was told kids like watching tv.
Then random man sat there and apparently helps look after the kids. I asked had he had all the background checks down as she had, I assumed, got sworn at!

MayThe4th · 13/11/2023 17:46

I would never have used a childminder for numerous reasons, however one thing I would say is that it’s entirely unrealistic to think that there won’t be toys with small parts around when you have older children in the same setting as younger ones.

The thing to do is to supervise the younger children to make sure they don’t put things in their mouth.

Right now this is your pfb but assuming you plan on having more children one day you are almost certainly going to have toys with small parts in the same areas as your baby. You can’t expect your older children to not have e.g. playmobil because it has small parts and you have a baby. You’re going to have to supervise your baby to make sure that the toys with small parts aren’t picked up by him/her.

That doesn’t mean the childminder isn’t crap for other reasons. But the small toys isn’t something that is realistic to think about and you’re highly unlikely to find a childminder who doesn’t have small toys around if they mind older children.

If you want your baby to be in a place with only babies then you need to look at nurseries.

ilove · 13/11/2023 17:25

some nannies take the childcare grant - I do!

Littlelucas · 13/11/2023 17:23

What kind of idiots leave their child with a childminder who lets her dog mingle with their babies?

Jesus wept.

FestiveSandman · 13/11/2023 17:13

begaydocrime42 · 13/11/2023 15:59

Yeah that's not good but why report to Ofsted? You only saw a few minutes of one day, you don't have the full picture. The report could easily get her closed down, no wonder people are leaving the profession and it's a nightmare to get childcare anymore.

She should be closed down! She has a dangerous dog around children.

People not reporting this shit is exactly why there are so many dog attacks these days.

MariaVT65 · 13/11/2023 17:09

begaydocrime42 · 13/11/2023 15:59

Yeah that's not good but why report to Ofsted? You only saw a few minutes of one day, you don't have the full picture. The report could easily get her closed down, no wonder people are leaving the profession and it's a nightmare to get childcare anymore.

Anything that gets Ofsted to take a closer look at childminders is a good thing. They don’t see the whole picture either. They also spend half their inspection looking at paperwork.

PlatinumPantaloons · 13/11/2023 17:06

Mine were in nursery, obviously this CM is unsuitable and actually dangerous and I’m sure most are fine. What always put me off is however great someone is as it’s a private residence as well as a business can they just have visitors round? Does anyone know?

2jacqi · 13/11/2023 17:03

that is one childminder off your list!!!! wow!

luw7797 · 13/11/2023 16:55

@TheSquareMile a nanny would be my ideal solution but I have struggled to find one that will accept childcare grant, I will definitely have another look though

OP posts:
TheSquareMile · 13/11/2023 16:52

Could you consider a part-time Nanny until she is old enough to go to nursery?

https://www.norland.ac.uk/employing-a-norland-nanny/

Employing a Norland Nanny - Norland

https://www.norland.ac.uk/employing-a-norland-nanny

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