What is the youngest aupair you have / would have?

This interesting, as none of you has said how old your children are. This has quite an impact I've found.

MrsR, my DS' LEA is an 'old' AP (came over 5 yrs ago), she and her friends cannot believe the lists of demands that 'new' APs make. She also cannot believ how ill prepared they are to work (hard).

My recent AP was not at all interested in 'joining' the family, but admittedly she and I just didn't see eye to eye at any point!

I have a promising couple in the pipeline, but neither can start before May. I'm actually hoping, like you, that I can find a different way around my issues. I need to spend more time with DD, to do that I have to have someone half decent to cope with DS (who has sn) as he cannot just be parked in front of TV for 15 mins (or even 5!). Good luck finding an after school nanny.

marmaduke I am completely astounded.

dh wants to get another AP but, after yours and others experiences, I'm going to put the feelers out for an after-school Nanny. I'm not sure I can cope with another AP. It's a real shame as I've had some wonderful APs before but the whole "part of the family" onous seems to be lacking in the Au Pair environment at the moment.

Yes Brummie, now that ours has given notice what little initiative has completely flown out the window and she's asking me such stupid questions and doesn't understand my reply so why ask them??

marmaduke, to a lesser degree we had the same situation when ours was leaving. The last couple of weeks are a nightmare to deal with. You don't feel there's any point pulling them up on how they do their duties and they have nothing to lose by not doing them. Really hard.

OMG Maramaduke!!!!!!!
you never told me all that! makes my problems pale into insignificance! I'm now without AP have you seen my thread?!? x

QS in the weeks leading up to my APs departure she did less and less also, she took to not getting dressed until lunchtime and having 30 minute (I kid you not) long showers. She complained that there wasn't enought hot water!

She then put the emmersion on and forgot about it for over 24 hours (the oil boiler heats it twice a day, never had to use the emmersion before) it burnt through the thermostat and then expanded the boiling water back up to the cold water header tank in the loft and melted a hole in it.

Luckily I realised (there was hot coming out of the cold taps and all the loo cisterns were boiling) as we were about to leave the house and turned it off and emptied the cold tank out. If left it would have completely melted the cold tank, which would have flooded through the ceiling upstairs.

So far I have had to have a new header tank inc lid and jacket, a new innards of 2 loos (which melted/seized in the boiling water) a new emmersion element, timer and fused switch and an emergency call out fee - we are at just under £1k currently.

I'm considering never employing another!

Peahead, that's because Americans are lovely.

PS How's the job?

17 as long as they were responsible, could cook, clean and didn't argue back like some teenagers. older if i wanted a driver though.

I had a 19 yr old but only for 8 weeks extra help in the summer, I didn't let her drive the children, and she didn't have any sole charge care until about 3 weeks in when it was apparent that actually she was superfantastic and mature and trustworthy (and then it meant being left with eg 1 child for an hour or so while I nipped to the supermarket, not all four for the day!)

Sole charge - my usual rule is nobody under 23 which is the age I would have left myself alone with small children, looking back!

oh no Quint sorry to hear about AP.

This one laughed in my face the other day and I held my patience - no-one has previously ever done this and lived . Why do I have to put up with things just to keep the peace? Yes I could easily throttle her.

Are you sure you want another AP laura ?

My last one got to the point where I felt it was defiance not forgetful or misunderstanding (similar to buggy problem Mrs R)I don't know how I didn't throttle her.

I had to let my Norwegian Au Pair go last week. I am now au pair less, have cut my hours, and truly enjoying the time with my toddler. I have so much practical to do in regards to the move, I might as well have him around myself.

The mothering element is so true. My last one was 20, yet she was so dim, could not cook anything more than an omelette, and quite dippy, in the sense she broke an expensive Habitat lamp, Crystal Vase from Prague, and left behind the McLaren Cosy Toe, kept forgetting her Oyster Card, forgetting to charge her phone, buy credit, and it is not like she was stressed because she had so much to do! I had to constantly remind her things, yet, she would at the same time bite back, "do you think I am stupid?" (actually yes, but I cant tell you that) Never wiping the floor after shower, so wet, or she would use the hand towel, throw it on the floor and leave it there.

In the end, because she knew we were leaving, she was doing less and less, kept oversleeping, did not do her morning duties, and actually the last morning, and the last straw was when I asked her to help with the kids breakfast as she was just sitting there, having eaten her breakfast while I got the kids dressed and ready, and she points to her watch and says "But there is time enough".
Sure time enough for me to do everything I pay her to do prior to leaving without her lifting her pert arse.

I will stop now.

So, in answer to the OP, maybe the age has nothign to do with it, but the maturity and personality of the candidate is Alfa Omega.

Good Luck.

even more so when it's in black and white and they can't be bothered to read it...

It is so annoying to have chase them time and time again for one simple instruction. I know it all too well.

that's why he's selecting from the questions and not the pictures, otherwise he'd go for the big boob ones lol

He is actually managing her at the moment (don't have the patience) and doing a very good job in the circumstances. It was hilarious, he rang AP up and asked her to pick ds up from CM at school and told AP to bring buggy and told CM that he thought he had got through to her. She turned up buggyless lol. He did it again the next day and reiterated it and told CM and, yet again, she was buggyless.

But will DH have to manage her when it goes pear shaped? I hire them because it is I who has to live with the consequences. DH would just check that she didn't talk too much and she didn't have an accent that he found annoying. Not exactly traits on my list of criteria.

yesterday. She's leaving at the beginning of April. This time dh is doing the selection so he can see how hard it is (and he can't blame me when she decides to faint on us due to not eating).

Oh no, MrsR. When did this happen?

Brummie - I agree. Current AP has given notice (only been with us three weeks in total) as she doesn't get on with my kids. Definitely going to focus on this aspect for her replacement. I went for an older one, one who was smart, not fussy, no byfr's (blah...) as well.

I've had an 16 yr old, 18 yr old, an 19yr old, a 22 yr old and a 25 yr old and the most responsible one of all was the 18 yr old. But it was definitely a personality thing and we don't need a driver.

At present we have a 19 year-old who is absolutely fab. Like the OP, I am starting to look for my second and we are again focusing on 19-20 year-olds. I have not contacted any 18 year-olds because I would like them to have at least one year's driving behind them.

I guess the appropriate age of an au pair depends on whether you're happy to 'mother' the au pair as well as your children.

Lots of families are, but I felt that would create more work for me, not less.

Having said that, I saw the resumes of lots of au pairs with so little life experience that even at 21 they were like teenagers.

You can probably over think these things. I thought I'd got all my boxes ticked (she'd travelled, was older, smart, not fussy with food, no close siblings/boyfriends, blah...), but now wish I'd just focused on someone who absolutely LOVED kids!

21 laura... but only cos of the insurance for driving!