Nanny - are my expectations too high?

I was a nanny for 20yrs and I don't think your expectations are too high in terms of discipline, activities, reasonable care for the house and tidying up

I have never had to meal plan but I would either do the shopping with their card so brought what I wanted

Or would ask for chicken and mince for example and make a casserole and spag bol

Equally nothing wrong with beans on toast - pesto pasta - fish fingers jacket and veg

You say your first nanny. Did you work before ? If you didn't then maybe 6yr doesn't like her as not you and now you are working she hasn't got you

Assume 4yr is at pre school some of the time and obv 6yr at school so yes she can tidy up playroom /toys or make a shepherds pie

As she is only there 2 days she doesn't know what they have eaten rest of week so Prob easier for you to buy stuff and say please use mince sausages chicken etx

Does she have a creative /art space so a table /mat and place to do slime etx

Tell her she can be firm with 6yr if telling them off

Tell nanny what you want and give her a month to redeem self

If she doesn't find a new nanny. Can you be flexible on what 2 days as that helps or has to be mon and Tue for example

Then I echo a PP and say your experience in Australia is completely irrelevant to the issue here in the UK.

You can't do an exchange rate between two countries without taking into account t average earnings. In the UK the average earning is over 27,000 pounds a year, in Australia it's almost $1,900 a week.

As a former nanny, meal planning and cooking accordingly (often for whole family), and keeping toys organised are part of the job but ideally this needs to be made crystal clear at the outset rather than slide in gradually as this fosters resentment and ‘that’s not in my job description’ woes.
You need to re recruit a nanny- housekeeper imo. Then the housekeeping duties can incorporate the above even if the job is primarily childcare.
Agree with other posters she won’t change get someone at the higher rate from the off oh and glowing references are a must. It will change your life

In terms of meals. You will have two types of nannies in jobs:

1. they are given full access to work card, and then do all own food planning, ordering etc. They can plan, shop on Ocado for suitable times and then pick up extras out and about as needed . They know ie kids baking ingredients or extra children for play dates. Parents do a separate order with day to day basics, breakfast, own stuff.

2. parents do all ordering. Then they generally meal plan and tell nanny what to cook. or just show recipe

Its awkward if you have one person planning and one different person ordering as it means planner us to be very specific about how they will make a dish and how many it’s for etc.

Alondra, I feel the need to point out that £1 sterling is worth nearly twice as much as $1 AU. So £15 = $29 — still very cheap, but not quite as dramatic as it seems if assuming £1 = $1 AU.

In my area I might be able to get someone to look after a child for around £20ph if the hours and the location and everything else suited them. But I wouldn't be expecting someone professional for that rate. And of course if I was actually employing them I'd have to pay National Insurance and a pension contribution on top. I get the feeling the OP isn't doing that. She's gone for the budget option and you do get what you pay for.

Lots of people claim to be nannies are their luck. My first nanny was like this, but so argumentative we reached the point we felt we couldn't say anything. She just got progressively worse. I'd pull the plug and start again if I were you. A proper nanny knows what they ought to be doing and won't need continually reminding re basics.

You and your partner need to sit down with Nanny and point out that you are not happy with some of her behavior. if ahe doesn't like it she will have to go.

Nah, you're right. The niggles are one thing, but if she can't control your kids effectively (assuming what you say is true and every other caregiver mananges fine with your kids), that's a red flag for safety IMO. You don't need to be worrying that your daughter will break out of her grip and run into a road or something.

If you've truly explicitly set these expectations around clean up/cooking with her as well, and shes choosing not to do it, let her go.

I don't think your expectations are too high in terms of discipline, activities, reasonable care for the house and the careful putting away of toys etc. This nanny just sounds sloppy (as a character trait) and I think it's hard to change that. The crappy disregard for the care of things would drive me mad! I would look for someone new with whom you can start from scratch with the sort of standards you want.

I think, considering she's just there 2 days a week, I would plan the meals myself or put food in the freezer/fridge for the nanny to heat up. She sounds as if she has no clue about cooking (and many young people are like this ) and may not know where to start.

I also think that the fact that she was known to the family (and particularly your daughters) before taking up her role isn't ideal. It would be hard for anyone to manage discipline if they were previously a friend/acquaintance of the children. You need someone who is in a specific role from the outset - a new face.

Good luck, OP, but I think: get rid and find someone a bit more professional!

Not really. Wages in the UK have been shit for a long time, and everyone knows the downward spiral of low wages/high productivity can't be sustainable.

The OP is paying ridiculous low wages for a nanny outside a proper agency that will take into consideration and align her family expectations and values to the person most suitable for her children/family.

You get what you pay for in the UK, Australia or anywhere else.

Get rid of her now before she stays longer and starts to get more rights.

Pay situation and the whole nanny market in Australia is totally irrelevant.

Just to add - an average au pair would be above that, would bond with the children and wouldnt leave a mess. Its not about her qualifications or experience, she just isnt the right type of person to be a nanny.

I live in Australia and find it unbelievable to pay for a nanny $15/h. Here, depending on where you live, a nanny can cost you from $45-$60/h. I pay $30 dollars/h to walk my dog when we are not available.

Unless you earn very serious money, most people can't afford a private nanny for 21 hours a week in Australia. Childcare or family day care is cheaper and have great times - 7am to 6pm.

I think the OP is having high expectations for the wage she pays.

Some parents actually prefer their children to eat proper meals. You dont need to act like its standard that young children eat just toasts.

It sounds like you picked a non-nanny to be a nanny and magically expected her to pick up the skills of one.

You are not unreasonable expect those things; you are unreasonable to expect them of her and YWBU to think that just telling her it ought to be done, will suddenly magic the skills into her.

She sounds a pain and not fit for a nanny job at all. I cant see one reason about her why you should keep her. She doesnt bond well with the children, leaves your house a mess with permanent damage and is creating you worry.

Your expectations arent too high, eventhough I wouldnt think mealplanning with shopping for two days a week is a good idea.

Her behaviour actually sounds similar to what my ADHD colleagues would do, especially the getting defensive. Its very difficult to impossible to make them do what is asked of them.

If you are likely to get someone else interested in the job, I would ask her to leave.

She isn't a nanny. No way for what you are paying. Does she have a childcare qualification? Does she have a current first aid certificate? Is she ofsed registered? I reckon you have a babysitter and you're paying a babysitters rate.

Edited to correct autocorrect

Experience isn't the same as a qualification

Does she have any?

And, in fact, is she more of a childminder than a nanny?

Big difference in pay and expectations

How old is your nanny?
asking this as it sounds similar to my experience when I employed one and had to pre-cook meals to be warmed up and got constant messages about basic, already agreed on, routines.
Definitely have a chat and let her know what doesn't work for you and to be better with making sure things are tidied away properly. Coming home to stains that could easily be avoided isn't nice at all, maybe the odd accident but not as a general occurrence.
I had other niggles with my nanny, in the end used after school clubs and holiday clubs instead, which to be fair my kids didn't particularly like either but what can you do when you can't just give up work. Kids are older now and neither nanny nor after school care have left much of an impression, even if it did for me at the time.

So with meal planning - you are supposed to decide and supply what your children will eat.
I’ve only ever helped with meal planning if parents asked in passing or if a child has “gone off” original foods.
Occasionally I’ve offered weaning advice or been given free reign to cook something else if a toddler is going through their fussy phase…but these were not considered “part of the job” these were more personal conversations with families I’d been with for a while.

Also I have always been left specific matts/coverings for messy activities - why do you not have these available if you’re concerned about your carpet?

All that aside she sounds like a bad fit - I wouldn’t keep her if my children hadn’t bonded after 6 months but that’s personal preference.

I live in one of the more reasonably priced areas of the UK and I'm paying £14ph for someone to walk my dog: I pay £17ph to a cleaner to come in and do a full-day house clean once a month (deep clean of bathrooms and kitchen, general clean of house and some interior windows). I know nannies in the SE are earning £30+ ph. One of my relatives has given up a nursing career to become a nanny because she can earn £50k and it's easier work. So you've employed a bargain-basement end of the spectrum nanny and perhaps you're getting what you paid for. Looking after others' children is hard work. Finding all the tops for the paint tubes while also trying to keep an eye on children who may not feel they have to respect her or do what she says could be tricky.

If you know what your kids like to eat, then why don't you just plan the meals? You could have 4 alternatives you rotate, write them out and stick them on the fridge.

Exactly, beans and cheese on toast, surely?! Who meal plans for a 6 and 4 year old?!