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Original poster

giving notice to a family, what reason can i give?

30 replies

mindingmum · 01/03/2008 09:03

hope it's ok to burden fellow cm's with probs on their day off...
i have minded a 2yo girl since she was 9 weeks old for 50 plus hours per week, she is fab and so easy to mind
parents however are a bit trying to say the least, frequently complaining about things eg one time the girl called me 'mum' and her mum was hysterical. i explained to her that she hears my 5 children call me mum all the time and just copied (no big deal) but dad ranted on and on that it must never happen again!
on several occasions they have called a meeting with me to ask about the type of 'education'she is receiving while with me, although she has a daily diary filled in with all this in
recently they have been mentioning how brill the nursery is that their friends son goes to and how much 'education' he gets there so i told them they were welcome to send dd there with no hard feelings but mum said that they were happy with me (i don't feel like they are)
mum is currently on mat leave so dd only comes to me 3 mornings and every time she arrives she mentions something new that shes taught dd and asks me to follow it on
i really don't think i want to continue minding them when she goes back to work in june as now she's quoting EYFS at me at every oppotunity and i'm still getting my head round it myself.
i have to make a decision soon because they are paying me a retainer for two ft places and i'll have to pay it back if i give notice
what do you think?

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annh · 09/05/2008 10:10

I wouldn't have been able to keep my temper. How insulting! You must be a saint!

Original poster
MindingMum · 09/05/2008 09:46

annh - I went over to babysit last night and had to switch off to the list of instructions he gave me before they went out

I wanted to point out that one of us is a qualified childcarer amd the other one is a total waste of space and I know which one I'd rather leave my child with but I just wanted him to go so said nothing.
He even gave me instructions on how to heat the baby's milk and how I would be able to tell if he needed feeding!!!

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AtheneNoctua · 09/05/2008 09:18

I'm a bit confused, which one of the parents was supposed to be hormonal?

He's loopy.

annh · 09/05/2008 08:53

Mindingmum, do you still have the children? Has the dad calmed down?

poppy34 · 09/05/2008 08:21

precious first born- but Idilemma's description of him much better...

Original poster
MindingMum · 09/05/2008 08:19

??

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Original poster
MindingMum · 09/05/2008 08:19

PFB

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1dilemma · 08/05/2008 23:40

He sounds like a bit of a fruitloop

PFB syndrome big time

southernbelle77 · 08/05/2008 19:27

That's what I do MM!! Works for me! There are some parents you do not mind coming in, and then there are the others

Original poster
MindingMum · 08/05/2008 19:01

sorry cross posts - I was talking to southernbelle

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Original poster
MindingMum · 08/05/2008 18:59

that's exactly what my DH just said and I'm gonna make sure I do!

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NotABanana · 08/05/2008 18:59

I would use what Hassled said

southernbelle77 · 08/05/2008 18:55

What an annoying man!! Sorry, that's a bit rude I suppose but for goodness sake!

If things are going well with the children and the mother is happy keep reminding yourself of that.

On the days that dad is picking them up, I'd have them ready and waiting by the door when he arrives so you can literally hand them over and shut the door (ok, so maybe not quite like that,but don't give him time to come in etc etc!)

Original poster
MindingMum · 08/05/2008 18:28

Ok...an update!

We had a big discussion last month about what she wanted from a childminder and I layed down some new ground rules. It cleared the air wonderfully and we have been getting on like a house on fire since. she told me that she thinks the world of me as does her LO and blamed hormones for worrying over minor things - fair enough

Mum decided not til wait June to go back to work and both children started back Full time this week and all was well Mon to Wed when Mum picked up, however Dad collected yesterday and as soon as he walked through the door he was at it again!!

He saw his 4 month old son lying on a playmat on the floor under a baby gym and said "isn't he too young to be under there?" I replied that all my children played with them from 2 months and he asked to see the box the gym came in so that he could check the recommended age - idiot!!
Then he asked me why baby was only wearing a vest as it wasn't all that warm! (in my home when it's 70 degrees outside) - idiot!!
As he left he said "when was his last feed?", I said "around 4ish" to which he said "so when will he need another one?"!!!!!

Tonight he arrived, took one look at his DD1 (two and a half), ran across the room, grabbed a pair of playdoh scissors (only suitable for cutting through fresh air!)from her hand and exclaimed "OMG, theres no chance of her cutting herself with those, is there?" I couldn't even be bothered to answer him - IDIOT!!!

His parting comment tonight when he saw the look on my face asI told him not to put on the childrens' coats to go to the car as it was way to warm was "I make no apology for trying to protect my children"

I don't know what I am expecting you lot to say, I just wanted to rant!!

Please remind me in the future that if I ask for advice from mumsnetters, I should then take that advice, I would have been well rid by now

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ScruffyTeddy · 01/03/2008 22:13

Do it in a diplomatic way, you are after all, in this as a business/career and you should have your say too. My second childminder was very professional and I respected her for that. She told it like it was and that was fair enough.

cluelessnchaos · 01/03/2008 22:05

they sound a nightmare, i agree you should be totally honest, say you think there daughter is lovely buy you feel their expectations are too different to yours.

chelsygirl · 01/03/2008 21:57

I work evenings in a supermarket

ScruffyTeddy · 01/03/2008 21:36

I think you've done more than enough! When a childminder had a holiday they have never sorted out another one for me...what? Blimey, surely that would be up to me to sort out?

I would see what you did as a bonus, not an expectation.
I certainly wouldnt have complained about it!

Original poster
mindingmum · 01/03/2008 17:03

yes i think you are right scruffy, i will do it on tuesday and give the retainer fee to give back to her
it isn't only the education stuff, every week she has some gripe, the last three holidays i've taken, i've sorted her out with a cm she didn't click with the first one, she didn't like the second one's attitude and dd came back from the third one too dirty!
think i'm best rid
what do you do now chelsy?

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chelsygirl · 01/03/2008 14:44

I agve up after Xmas

best decision I've ever made, it was doing my head in!!

ScruffyTeddy · 01/03/2008 13:30

I dont actually think you have anything to lose by being honest. You said yourself, CMs are filled to bursting point and replacing her would be no problem.

So tell them what the problem is and they can either accept it and and take her elsewhere, or realise they need to back off. At least then you are giving them the chance to sort it out and cant be accused of dropping them in it.

(I am not a childminder btw, but I had one and would have appreciated her honesty if she had an issue with our arrangements!)

KatyMac · 01/03/2008 13:06

Well if they ask why you can say the educational stuff & if they don't you know they were probably leaving anyway

WallOfSilence · 01/03/2008 12:06

I would say you feel pressurised by all the education stuff! Tell the truth, that way they will know that it's not that you don't like their child or anything like that, they will know it was them piling on the pressure!!

Original poster
mindingmum · 01/03/2008 11:51

can i justify saying 'personal reasons' when i am continuing to mind two of her friends children? think i might have to take cowards way out and say i don't want full time hours and hope she doesn't decide to go back part time

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KatyMac · 01/03/2008 10:22

Or use 'personal reasons' that's always useful

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