Old nanny returning from maternity leave with baby! Help

Come back and report please. You are dutybound in the mumsnet sisterhood secret codde to come back and update us when you start a juicy thread like this one. Okay, this particulary thread isn't very jucy (except the part when I slapped you), but the history is pretty gobsmacking.

And horrid nanny deserves every word I said about her. What kind of person say hey can you put what you just said in writing do I can take to cab and see if I can take you for ride? Uh huh... a horrid one.

Have you done it yet ziopin?

do it now

pick up the phone and say

"We have considered your request to bring your baby to work for 3 days and I am sorry but we have to say no that is not acceptable to us and is not subject to discussion. Please let me know by tomorrow whether you still wish to return under the existing terms of your contract"

just say no that is unacceptable to you

I have followed the previous threads on this and agree strongly that you shouldn't agree a trial period.

However I'm somewhat surprised about the level of personal vituperation being directed at the nanny. Regardless of her ability to do her job she is in the same position as the rest of us, i.e. trying to work whilst having a child. Most of us in that situation try to work out what is the best position for us and calling her names for asking just seems kind of vicious.

Hope it works out for you ziopin

What date is she meant to return to work?

I would do it immediately to be honest. Call her. Follow the chat up in writing - even via email is fine but I would make sure you word it carefully. In your letter/chat you must ask her to confirm her decision in writing too, just so that you have proof it you need it

She sounds a right PITA!

z - you don;t have to put anything in writing at this stage. she's made a verbal request. you verbally turn it down. it's then down to her to either tell you when she's coming back from mat leave or to resign. probably best to ask her to put that in writing - just so that you're clear on dates (last day of employment/first day back at work)

Please ring her today get it over and done with!!! How much notice does she have to give you to either resign/return F/T.

ziopin you don't have to do anything to end it formally. Just say no, she will then either have to find childcare and return f/t as before, or resign, it will be her decision.

i think your nanny has a bloody nerve telling you what's going to happen
she works for you , therefore you tell her how it's going to be - if you told her you don't want her to bring the baby then she can't.

i think you must be very sure of your legal rights and do everything by the book but if you don't like her then she will have too go - i think you should've dealt with the situation before her maternity leave was due to run out myself but too late now.

it seems silly to lose your lovely new nanny

some history of horrid nanny

YEs, hatwoman, I agree. But a verbal response to a verbal question is appropriate. No need to go putting things in writing that nanny will run off to CAB just to make Ziopin's life (more) difficult.

(that was to eleusis) I really must go and do some work...

but I think she has asked for this verbally. so z needs to say something.

Make sure you take notes of every conversation, keep them in a file. If she took you to a tribunal you would need them.

She sounds like a nasty piece of work (didn't see any of your earlier threads), so I agree that it is appropriate to respond to her by the means she raised her request. BUT, take notes - that is your evidence

Horrid. Indisputably.

I wouldn't even give her a decision period. Nothing has changed for you. You are continuing as you were. Has she given you written notice of what day she intends to return to work?

Just carry on under the old arrangement, when there was no baby. It is her job to sort out childcare.

Perhaps you could recommend lovely new nanny as a temp nanny for her child while she is looking after yours?

I don;t know the history - is she really that bad?

remember she is making a hoooooge request. no-one else gets to bring their baby to work. she is facing the decision that everyone else faces - work and find childcare or resign.

I thin kit is appropriate to answer her question in what form she asks it. So, if she asks verbally, then respond verbally., It she gives you a formal written request to bring the baby. The reply in writing explaining that you are happy to continue under the terms of the existing contract, but you are not prepared to allow which are not yours into your house on a regular basis.

This girl/woman will not wish to be separated from her baby. And she will take every written statement you give her straight to CAB. She is vicious, and you should not trust her as far as you can throw her.

Take notes of your discussion and what she says, time and everything.
And then on Monday or whatever date you have given her to decide, it gets closed off once and for all. Again, take notes adn times etc etc.

If she decides to come back full time as before without her baby, then you may have to abide by that. But it sounds like that will not work for her (let's face it, who wants to look after someone elses kids and have your child being looked after elsewhere - all a bit skewed!).

If she starts rumbling on about the part time bringing the baby etc, reiterate that you do not need to accomodate the baby, and are unwilling to, therefore if she is saying that she cannot resume her role under current terms, then you will have to accept her resignation.

Whatever the outcome, draft a letter which captures teh 2 above conversations - write it, retain a copy and post it registered post. (Mumsnet can read through draft for you at that stage).

A bit of effort up front here will have your lovely kids looked after by a lovely nanny. Letting this opportunity go will have a nasty nanny back in yoru house, with her sprog, running hte show and doing all the things that she did before - more agro in the long run.

Go on, wimp out of the stress and hassle of having to deal with her back in your life!!!

phone her up. say "I've been thinking about your return to work and we had a long discussion about it last night and I'm afraid we've decided that we don't think having [baby's name] here is going to work. We decided to have a nanny because we wanted someone who's able to devote all her energies to dcs and when we talked about it last night we realised that that's not changed."

it's then down to her to resign or find childcare.

He he at eleusis!

The phone converstation should go as follows:
"nasty nanny, I have considered your proposal to come back to work bringing nasty nanny baby for 3 days of the 5 day week. I have decided that I am not willing to change our arrangement to accomodate this. I will give you some time to look at your options and would like to hear from you ...e.g. Monday...confirming whether you still intend to return to work" Stick to that, and don't get drawn in. you are not obliged to change her terms adn conditions. She has not submitted a request for flexible working. This is NOT your problem, so do not get drawn in.

Right, here's your response:

No.