Is it OK to hire a babysitter (nursery staff) to do pick-up, bed-time and an extra hour or two?

For people saying she will be starting her morning shift at 9AM, that is doubtful. More like 7.30AM or 8AM most mornings. I do nursery work and often do 8AM-6PM, by the end of it I am so exhausted I can barely stand. I can't imagine someone doing the same shift then going on to do more work elsewhere. However, I am not the nursery worker in question. Presumably, she feels she can handle it so see how it goes. The only other thing you have to be mindful of is if it becomes a weekly thing then I imagine you then become her employer and so would have to manage tax and national insurance. If adhoc, it's fine.

Quite common for nursery staff to do this where I am - often wfh parents have to commute once or twice a week and can't make it back by 6pm so will pay the keyworker to take the child home.

Nice bit of extra money for the nursery staff as it is higher pay than the minimum wage in nursery.

Nurseries almost never pay staff to stay later than the children. It's a waste of money for the owners! Tidying and paperwork is done in the day while children are there.

I know it's meant to be considerate but this thread is full of well-meaning but patronising people.

You offer what you're offering. Decide if you're willing to still hire her even if she's only willing to do SOME of what you're offering, and make that clear in your message. Then the grown, adult woman you are offering a job to can decide what she is willing to do.

In my experience, lots of people are looking for more hours and are quite happy to do this once or twice a week as it's profitable and relatively simple. But if she's not, that's fine too, you find someone else.

It is worth checking with the nursery - mine would not allow staff to "do the pick up" on days that they were working, because it blurred the line at which nursery ceased to have responsibility for the child.

I was a nursery assistant before becoming a teacher. I had 2x families I would do exactly this for.
Family 1 - tues/ weds every week. Would take child home from nursery at 6pm, feed/ bath/ bed her, stick a pizza in oven parents provided for me, and leave around 9:30/10pm when parents would get home.
Family 2 - single mum, working Fridays & Saturdays. Would do same as above on the Friday then come back Saturday and have child for the whole day til mum came back around 5pm.
Used to charge £10 per hour, but this was 15 years ago so not sure if that’s still going date! I loved it though, so can’t see why your babysitter wouldn’t!

@mathanxiety yet somehow lots of SAHP manage to look after their children all day, as do nannies!

You say this so flippantly as if getting a nanny isn't 50% - 100% more expensive than nursery option!

If she's happy to do it, then I don't see a problem. Most babysitters have other jobs during the day!

Small children really take it out of you though.

I wouldn't ask a nurse to do this for the same reason I wouldn't ask the nursery worker.

Id make an arrangement with a local.older teen.

Fair enough @Kingsparkle. I take your point too.

@ladykale - the nursery doesn’t offer it. The OP is asking a member of staff individually. I doubt any nursery would offer it - assuming the EU law still stands for 11 hours of continuous rest between shifts.

When I said get a nanny I meant for all her childcare needs. It seems nursery might not be the best fit for what OP needs.

@MrsLilaAmes - I understand what you are saying and I am not saying never ask her, but if this thread is anything to go by and OP approached her asking if she could do some babysitting, and it turns out she wants a regular arrangement twice a week, I can see how it would be difficult for the nursery worker to say no. There are a lot of threads oh here with people who struggle to say no to much less. I think the OP is asking for too much and I can see how/why it would be difficult for the nursery worker to say no, that’s all.

Exactly.

Hard to get a nanny to work 2 hours per day, most importantly! This set up makes sense & I wish my child's nursery offered it

No, it’s not infantilising to be aware @Kingsparkle, nor to make it clear they can say no.

But to refuse to offer work at all for fear of accidentally putting pressure on the worker isn’t great for the worker either. They end up with no work and no money. 🤷‍♀️

Ask her maybe by text sk she isn't pressured and say fine to say no if tired or busy

So she had a get out Clause

For those saying get a nanny. What's e diff for a nursery worker to babysit or a nanny

Both would have worked with children all day

Why not fair - she can say no if she wants?? Lots of people have jobs that require them to work 9am - 7/8pm?

I needed an operation once that meant I had to go to hospital before nursery opened for drop off (no other childcare) so the manager who lived at the end of my road took the kids and dropped them off as a favour.

She made it very clear due to insurance etc she was doing it as a friend with a favour NOT as a member of staff as the relationship/insurance etc completely changes once outside of nursery - and it was too risky to seek payment and muddy things.

You may find that your nursery worker feels similar as it's not clear cut - finishing work and then coming to your house to babysit is a v different proposition than bringing your daughter home and caring for her for the journey etc.

@MrsLilaAmes - I am just going by my experience. There are lots of people who struggle to set boundaries as they want to please, doesn’t make them bad at their job. I work with quite a lot of young people and confidence in putting in boundaries particularly with clients and senior staff members is something we have to work on with them. It’s not infantilising to recognise power dynamics in a workplace.

Think about how you would feel looking after a room full of screaming toddlers all day, then going and looking after another one for 4 hours. Then getting in a car and getting home at around 10 at a guess and getting up to start at 9am the next day (presumably).

I doubt you’ll be able to bring your A game. You’ll be tired. You might feel snappy.

It’s a balancing act because on the plus side your little one already knows this carer and that is a great benefit. But weekly or twice weekly sounds like way too much to me. Maybe once a month or fortnight, and could you also consider making it shorter?

@kingsparkle I think that’s quite infantilizing to be honest. If the nursery worker is old enough, mature enough and sensible enough to be trustworthy looking after your child at nursery, and to be considered as a suitable babysitter, it should be possible to trust her to set her rates and her hours reasonably too.

If you’re concerned to avoid being pushy OP you can ask lots of open questions- what’s the earliest/latest you would be comfortable working? What responsibilities do you have at the end of your nursery shift/when would you be available afterwards? How regularly would you feel comfortable babysitting? Etc. Or you could say ‘Using a babysitter is a new thing to me, so please always be very honest about what works for you and tell me no if you need to. I don’t want to accidentally be cheeky!’ I think that would be respecting her agency and giving her room to set her own terms.

My daughters key worker used to do this occasionally at her suggestion. I was going to pick up before babysitting but she said she didn’t mind bringing our daughter home too. She babysat once a month for us when I had an evening meeting.

*paid babysitting- that should say

She may have duties after her shift like tidying the provision or doing assessments so may not be ‘available’ to do paid on work time. How would she watch your child from pick up time if she has this to do?

@MrsLilaAmes - because OP says the nursery worker is not one to say no, which sounds like she could feel pressured to accept.

I am stereotyping here but nursery workers tend to be younger and they may not feel able to say no to parents who are clients of their workplace for fear of a bad atmosphere etc. The nursery workers at my sons nursery are lovely and I can easily see how’d they’d feel pressured if a parent asked them this.

OP you need to find a nanny or a regular babysitting service.

Surely its up to the babysitter how often they want to babysit? They may need or want the extra income hence offering the service.

If the nursery allows them to pick up then thats fine.