What does nanny do during baby naps?

We have always worked with our nanny on the basis that whilst our then baby / now toddler was asleep she could take a well earned break - have lunch, watch some TV etc. But when our DS was awake we wanted her to be really present with him, fun classes, games, park, playtime. Our nanny is not just an employee, she’s an extension of our family. And she has gone above and beyond for us many, many times.

I don't want to pay a nanny to sit around while baby naps (this happened a while ago when we trialled a nanny).

You won’t get a good nanny if this is indicative of how you treat them; good, experienced nannies can smell difficult families a mile off and will instead go work for families that treat them with respect.

It's surely the same as nursery? They have a well deserved break. Maybe set-up some activities. Do some prep for meals etc. But really, who cares? You don't want to stay at home. You have the means to employ someone else to sit about whilst your baby sleeps. As long as your baby is happy, does it matter?

This is a kin to saying:

We are going out for a date night, we'll be out from 8pm till 1am, my kids bedtime bedtime is 7.30pm... I'm not PAYING someone to just sit there babysitting them while they sleep they should do my taxes as well.

Of course you have to pay her to sit there while your child sleeps, thats LITERALLY her job to fulfill the law that someone has to be there (and you are not)... do you not relax when your kids are in bed?

Your cleaners job is to clean, your nannies job is to nannie... you can't assign someone another whole new job because you have decided theres is 'too easy' (even though you STILL completely require what they are doing by sitting there while your child sleeps).

Not long after my son turned 1 he dropped a nap. By 14 months and still to this day that nap can vary between 20 mins to 3 hours. Today was 35 mins and we are all suffering for it. I got the kitchen cleaned, I normally get the kitchen, playroom and some laundry done and some TV watched if I feel like it. It will be the same for your nanny but possibly slightly more stressful as you'll expect it to be done as you're paying her where for me I think fuck it I'll do it later!

Send her away while the baby sleeps then you don’t have to pay her. Then you just keep your fingers crossed the baby is ok, doesn’t wake, get unwell etc for the 1.5 hours the nanny is away on her break. I mean it’s such a waste of time paying a nanny to do nothing while your child sleeps OP. I hear you. You can’t be getting burnt by selfish nannies expecting paid for an hour when the child is actually asleep. 🤦‍♀️

This. Sorry OP, i'm not a nanny but if I was one you sound like the kind of employer I'd hate to work for. You sound as if you're gearing up towards filling up all of a nanny's time with tasks so you can squeeze as much productivity out of your pound. I've heard mothers being subjected to this questioning by men who don't appreciate how tiring looking after a baby can be.

As others have pointed out, she's minding your child whilst the child is asleep. As long as the nanny is aware of the baby, present and attentive if the baby needs anything, that's the main thing.

The OP is clearly being unreasonable but do we really need to resort to working mothers don't raise their children?

Maybe a good compromise would be for you to not pay her while you baby naps, and she pops out to do her own errands?

No, thought not.

It's like asking what a babysitter does when you and your partner are out in the evening after she put your child down for the night. She sits there when your child is asleep, that's what you pay for - so you don't have to do that and can get on with something else. It's pretty simple really. AFAIC she can read a book, paint her nails or do whatever she wants 🤷🏼‍♀️

Ultimately it’s up to you what she’ll be responsible for then, but be prepared to pay for what you want.

I nannied for two families. At one I was only asked to wash bottles at nap. At the other house I was expected to wash bottles, fold his laundry, and make homemade baby food (I elected to take that task on after a conversation on that topic; the task dropped as he dropped his second nap). At each house I would occasionally choose to use nap time to tackle another project - cleaning their fridge, organizing a closet, etc. They were grateful, but they never expected it.

They paid me a living wage. It was the lower end of appropriate for a well educated/experienced nanny here and I was fine with that as I had plenty of time to study (was refreshing courses so I could pursue graduate school), rest, etc since they also expected fewer chores than most.

Children are demanding. Housekeeping is demanding. You can expect someone to do both, but they will expect to be paid as such.

This is my experience of good nannies too.

You are employing a nanny to nurture your baby and keep them safe. Unless youre happy for her to go home and do her own thing while your baby is asleep, she is still doing that during nap time. You will not keep any nanny who is worth their wage with your current attitude. They will have a break, and then they will prep anything that needs prepping for your child. Maybe they'll spend time finding new activity ideas, researching groups in the area, arranging meet ups with other nanny's and children. However she spends the time, she is still in the house and looking after your child which is exactly what she is being paid to do.

Are you joking? You’re paying for their time. Or would you rather the nanny leave your child home alone while they sleep, so they can do their own thing and you don’t have to pay them?

She's a nanny, not your housekeeper. She should only do chores related to your child and tidy up after herself, of course. She needs a break during the day, let her sit down and relax. And you are not paying her to do nothing. She's looking after your child, even when she's relaxing during the baby's nap, she's there if the baby wakes up. You are paying her to be there when you are not. It's not like she can leave the house just because the baby is sleeping.

You will never find a nanny willing to stay and work for you if this is your attitude towards them. Everyone is entitled to a break, some days she will be having more time to relax, some days she might not have much time to herself at all.

"we don't want to pay a nanny to sit around while baby naps"

look after your child yourself then

Oh dear. None so blind as that type of person.

@i123i cut the grass, clean the windows, sort your paperwork, iron your clothes, entertain you or perhaps just take a break? She's a nanny not a servant that you need to fill every second with tasks to make you feel you are getting your monies worth.

Do you and partner have breaks at all during your day or is every waking moment being policed?

I haven't read all the replies so don't know what has been covered so far. All I can say it reminded me of a nanny interview I went to, for a pair of 1 year olds whose mothers (friends) were going back to work and had never hired a nanny before. One was very insistent that during the kids' 1 hour nap I cook their evening meal and get all the laundry done, and very definitely not to do those things while the children were awake. No break in the whole 11 hour day!

Normally the children's laundry, cleaning up after them and setting up activities fills most of your time, with hardly any break, but consider how an overworked person will treat your child if you don't consider their needs at all. Patience gets short in the afternoon! 3 naps a day doesn't last long anyway.

Not paying a nanny for when the child sleeps? You want the person to stay in your house and keep minding your child at all times!

I had a friend like this.She wanted to get her money worth, expected full on housework, childcare, also babysitting in the evening when she and her dh went out. She changed 5 nannies during 2 years, and then gave up saying most nannys are terrible and lazy. 😂

I’d suggest that if you think a nanny is ‘doing nothing’ while your baby naps, see how you feel if you substitute ‘doing nothing’ with ‘pops home,’ or maybe ‘takes a break and has a nap herself.’ If you are not comfortable with the idea that your nanny either leaves your child on their own or sleeps herself while your baby sleeps, then I would suggest that what she is doing (ie being awake and present) is of value to you and you should just suck it up and let the nanny get on with her job without you questioning what she’s doing.

My mother used to complain that my nanny ‘wasn’t doing anything’ but her calm patience allowed me to carry on with my career and hobbies. I’m grateful to her and think she was worth every penny - I hope she felt appreciated, as she certainly was. We had a great working relationship for over 10 years. I’d suggest if you want that sort of relationship with a nanny, you don’t torpedo it right at the start by accusations of her ‘doing nothing’ while your baby sleeps. Mine happily emptied the dishwasher without me asking, and when the children got older she asked them to empty the dishwasher too. Her job was to supervise and keep my children safe, well, fed and to help them develop into polite and pleasant human beings, and this was part of her idea of how to achieve this. I wouldn’t have dreamed of asking her to do housekeeping work though.

Your nanny is working while your child sleeps as she keeps an eye on them and makes sure baby is safe. She is also entitled to a break! Other times she might not get much of one!