Anyone here as an adult who had multiple caregivers as a baby?

My dc are all in their 20s.
When they were little, we only had 3 months maternity leave.
All my dc are confident adults and we have a loving relationship. Same for all of my friends' dc.
Whoever has been talking to you is talking absolute rot and clearly has no understanding of attachment theory.

I went to childcare from 3 months. 100s of years ago (not in the U.K.) cannot remember much of it, but still have friend from my kindergarten days! I don’t think I had attachment issues. I always was and still am very close to my parents.

Sent all of mine to nursery at 6 months when I went back to work. Never understood the anxiety around childcare on the U.K., just make sure you find a good place. My children are now late teen/ young adults. They are well adjusted, sociable, independent children and we are very close. My 21 year old is graduating with a first from a top uni this year and my 17 year old is a straight A student of that helps too.

I don't remember! 😊

However, I am the mum of three adults who all went to childcare as I went back to work fulltime. Eldest was 5 months, 2nd was 7 months, 3rd was 10 months. There were no attachment issues, though the eldest did get attached to the woman in charge of the baby room - I couldn't drop her off until T started!! Still in contact with T more than 25 years later.

6 months is fine - back in the day, maternity leave was only 18 weeks and so if you went over your due date, your baby was very young going into childcare (I had sick leave at the end of mine which was why it was longer). The attachment issues will be yours, honestly, and you will get used to it. My three have turned out just fine x

I'm still in touch with my eldest's childminder, and he's 14 now. She was so lovely and really loved him like an aunty would. Childminders don't replace mum, they just add to the circle of people who love the child.

You're welcome. Your baby will have a lovely time with the childminder I'm sure, and the big cuddles that you get when you pick them up are just the best. He won't forget you, I promise :)

It won't be anything like going to foster care because they will have you/DH at home. Whoever is telling you these things has grossly misunderstood attachment science! And I don't even know that much about it, only A Level Psychology really. But no. You don't break a secure attachment by using childcare. That's simply not how it works. And if the childcarer is warm and responsive then there won't be any issue caused at all.

It's when children are suddenly removed for a prolonged period that attachment is damaged. And when they are cared for by somebody neglectful or having a traumatic experience in the absence of an attachment figure. In the 1960s for example, children used to be admitted to hospital if they needed surgery etc, without a parent. Attachment research was used to show why this is detrimental, and once parents were encouraged to stay with their children they found the children recovered better.

Your childminder will become a secondary attachment figure to your baby, assuming they are warm and responsive which I'm sure they will be. So when something does happen that's scary or upsetting, like for example falling over, the baby will have a relationship with the childminder by then and be able to seek comfort. Don't worry!

This was me and two of my siblings — we were substantially raised by a grandfather and great-uncle for years.

DS went to a childminder from seven months.

In the late 50s/very early 60s my sibling and I were passed around various family and friends, sometimes together, sometimes apart in an informal fostering manner. This was due to serious illness in the family and my father working away. As far as I can tell, we were looked after well and I really do not think it had any lasting effects.

I actually don't know any childminders who don't go out at least 2 or 3 times a week children nap when you're out if it's a morning or whole day thing ...most classes are AM and most children over 1 have pm naps or are transitioning towards it. If you were a SAHM to a few children or caring for several children at a weekend you don't stay in all day due to naps.

Sole CMS are out with children all the time. This week we've done forest school, farm visit, library and a toddler group.

Yes, the ratio is still the same however, for example, 2 people looking after 12 children is the same as one looking after 6 meaning equally as capable of outings. It’s just something I wanted to point out as all the sole childminders I know do equally as rewarding and varied visits as someone with an assistant does. It gives a balanced view of childminders as there are many more sole workers than those with assistants.

I didn’t say it never happens. I’m sure there are sole childminders who do this but the ones we interviewed did trips far less often because they couldn’t split into groups e.g of one or two of the children have different nap times they can’t take the third out to a class that happens to be run at that time. The setting we used could tailor to the varying children’s needs because there were more staff members.

It’s simply not true that sole childminders look after fewer children as the maximum ratio of carers to children is the same for both by law. I’m really not denigrating sole childminders, just outlining my experience of finding a setting that worked for my child and explaining to the OP that she needn’t worry about this aspect.

Awful reading this research, feel like a rubbish mum.

You aren't a rubbish mum. Is dad a rubbish dad for working and using childcare?

The key takeaway from the research is this:

The quality of the childcare is key

Childcare in young babies doesn't add any benefits but it's not detrimental (so it's neutral)

Older children (from around 2) can benefit from childcare/nursery/pre-school.

We put DS in nursery part time from 6 months and full time from 9 months.
He's 9 now and we've had zero issues with attachment.
In fact, he talks very fondly of his 'first school', the staff and friends he made ( he was there until he started school)

I don’t quite understand why you are using two settings? Why not childminder full time?

Of course it happens with sole childminders. They have less children, due to working alone, so are equally capable as a childminder with assistants and the higher number of children to match staff

DC went to nursery albeit pt from four and five months old.
They are 20 and 18 now, both incredibly bright and independent off at uni.
All bonded just fine and my pension looks great.

Also, the CM set up with assistants is brilliant. It has the advantages of a warm home set up but with more staff so there are always eyes on the children (which is the advantage of a nursery). My child went to one like that before nursery later and it was brilliant. As well as being homely, the number of staff meant the children could be taken on trips. They took the babies to the park, baby sensory classes, music classes etc and as they got older, on trips to the zoo and even to the theatre when aged 2! That doesn’t happen in nurseries and doesn’t often happen in sole childminder settings. Our child loved it and so did we.

My DC went into nursery part time at 7 months and then full time from about a year, same with DC2.

I have amazing attachments with both of them as does my DH. Kids are both happy and secure at home and have the added benefit of having lots of secure, positive relationships with other adults.

I see our nursery as an extension of our family circle, my kids have now known their nursery nurses (and the other kids) for 3/4 years. We see them out and about in town, in the park, DC2 now goes to reception with some of them.

It’s absolutely normal and fine. It is NOT the same as a foster situation, whatever that is meant to mean!

You do what is right for your family, it’s no one else’s business. Millions of families rely on childcare to support them through the early years, it’s insulting to suggest that somehow damages their relationship with their kids.

You’ll be fine OP!