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Paid childcare

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Original poster

Nanny has offered free childcare

133 replies

Teacakeorcrumpet · 25/05/2023 08:32

I found out yesterday our nanny has organised for eldest DC's new friend to come to our house for 2 full days next week. We employ our nanny 45hrs a week to care for DC aged 8, 5 and 2. As far as I can tell the nanny has invited this friend directly speaking to the child's parent without consulting me and apparently they will be arriving at 8.30am on Monday morning for the full day and the same on Tuesday.

Parents of the child have not contacted me at all about this. I'm not comfortable at all. The child is in the same school class as my eldest but has never been to our house before and I've only spoken to the parents once or twice.

I feel like I'm being used as free childcare for 2 days and the parents haven't even had the decency to check with me that this is OK or offer to share costs.

The nanny is planning to take them on a day trip on Monday so I'll have the extra cost of petrol, lunch out and giving this child dinner when they get back. On Tuesday they're going to an adventure park for the day and again I feel like I'm expected to cover all costs without being asked. Feels like total CF behaviour.

Not even sure why I'm posting other than to vent and see if anyone else's nanny ever puts them in such an awkward position! This is the latest in a string of small annoyances and I'm thinking its time for the nanny to move elsewhere. Youngest DC will be at nursery in Sept anyway so we will only need after school care then. Would I be unreasonable to give her notice that we don't need her for Sept onwards?

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NashvilleQueen · 25/05/2023 08:44

How long has she worked for you? A play date - even for a good chunk of the day - is one thing but two full days is definitely the other parents getting free childcare.

You probably need to know more. Did she offer (in which case it's a nanny issue)? Did they suggest (in which case she might have been put in a difficult position by them and the children)?

Just cancel it. You pay her to look after your children and if she's arranged anything you're not comfortable with you have the right to say no. What you shouldn't do it just put up with it this time because it will happen every school holiday.

IfYouDontAsk · 25/05/2023 08:44

Oh that’s not on, I’d say that these arrangements need to be cancelled.

Re giving her notice- will you be able to cover the school holidays before then if she decides to leave and not work her full notice period? Sounds like things might not end particularly amicably so I’d want to be prepared for worst case scenario.

Yummymummy2020 · 25/05/2023 08:43

I certainly wouldn’t be paying for the other families expenses, I wouldn’t mind a play date but that is all a bit much. Are you sure the nanny isn’t being paid though and just saying it’s free??? I used to nanny and was offered pay to mind another child for a few hours! So it does happen for sure!!!

SomeNights · 25/05/2023 08:43

The extra child won't cost any more in petrol unless they're driving their own car?

I'd want to be asked about this but it seems you're also making assumptions (eg about who pays for the theme park) so I'd have a proper conversation about it and why it's happened before jumping to giving notice.

Hippyhippybake · 25/05/2023 08:43

Totally inappropriate. Obviously nannies should be free to arrange play dates (with reciprocity) but this is ridiculous.

Rainallnight · 25/05/2023 08:41

I bet they’re paying her

WimpoleHat · 25/05/2023 08:40

How did you find out? Did the nanny tell you (in which case presumably you could’ve raised your concerns with her), or did you hear it on the grapevine? Sounds to me like the nanny was just trying to be helpful and didn’t think things through (eg who would pay for what). I can see why that’s very annoying for you, though - especially if you’re being expected to cough up for theme park entry! It does sound worthy of a conversation with her at least.

DustyLee123 · 25/05/2023 08:34

Is this other family paying her for child care ?
And no, I wouldn’t be letting it happen. She’s there to give your kids 100% attention.

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