Should Granny be allowed to give Grandchild treats?

I am more concerned about your son manipulating snd controlling you op snd threatening to stop contact.

Hateful behaviour

You come for me and have the nerve to tell me to give it a wobble? FOTTFSOFATFOSM

What joyless lives some people want their children and the grandparents to lead.
And I speak as someone who was pretty hot on healthy eating for her kids.

My children's relationship with my wonderful MIL, was a total joy to me. Yes, I winced at chocolate playing a fairly forward part in the way she 'spoiled'* them, but I'm so glad that I didn't interfere in that. Being indulged every six weeks or so was hardly going to ruin their health or their attitude to food. I just remember their sparkling eyes at the shared fun and love involved. And yes, they're all in their mid 30s now, slim and fit and cherishing those moments too, when they recall their grandma.

*spoiled really isn't the right word is it? Because nothing about then was spoiled by having that chocolate, that love, that ritual of the visits.

I think too many mums on here have their heads up their perfect arses.

I think most parents aim a little higher than just keeping their kids alive.

The problem is that kids should not be eating between meals and certainly should not be rewarded with "treats" for good behaviour (as the OP said she would like to do).

The parents need to control the treat that their kids are given.

Love? And I'm aggressive? Give it a wobble!

Meant to add trust me when you stop letting them walk all over you snd you tell them 'well I think you might need paid professional care as obviously my choices are bad!'

Trust me they be bricking themselves snd fall over you with back tracking beeping sounds.

Sad for you though op they are unpleasant

I have 8 grandchildren agree with your post.

I’d be tempted to tell him to go right on ahead and make other arrangements. There’s no way they’ll want another grandchild to be your soul focus and I suspect this was what doing your catch up day after being sick was all about.

You’re being bullied by your son and it’s no different to being an abused wife.

Well as a nana myself I would tell them to pay for childcare if they are this pedantically daft.

I treat my grandchildren as my mother and mil treated mine.

They sound very hard work snd very immature

You mean when they’re not at granny’s?

Are you ok love? You seem unnecessarily aggressive. Maybe your my Mother.

It's not infrequent when it's weekly and the impact is poor behaviour, sugar crashes, creating terrible disordered eating habits and obesity.

It is inappropriate, neglectful and disgusting to allow children to gorge themselves on junk food.

This is so sad. My mum looked after both my children and part of that was treats. She'd feed them McDonald's once a week and goodness knows how many kinda eggs. I told her a few times to limit them but I know she didn't. I was grateful that she looked after my children and she loves to spoil them. It's part of being a grandparent imo. My grandma treated me all the time. They should realise how lucky they are to have a kind and caring member of the family looking after their child. Many wish for this.

I don't. You need a bit of give and take to make family relationships work. These parents sound very difficult people.

Massive CFs- having you make up a day you missed due to illness screams that they feel they have an entitlement to this childcare from you. They are probably weighing up the amount of childcare you have provided for the other GC to make sure they are getting their “fair” share. Wait till you need to miss another day and take note of what their attitude is!

Weird. I let GPs treat my kids more than me as it helps their relationship which means the world to me.

Love the amount of childcare you are providing btw. That's amazing. You are fab!

@SunnySaturdayMorning I'm with you on needing trust - of course. But parents should not weaponize that concept as a means of enforcing bizarre rules which even you acknowledge are ridiculous.

For instance - IF the parents said granny can't play with the kids, or cuddle them. Let's face it that's about as ridiculous as banning the biscuits the child has at home. Would this also be ok with you, as it's THEIR rules? No matter how harmless the activity, and how stupid / unfair the rule is - once it's made it must be blindly obeyed or the kids can't see their grandparents? If granny makes her own call and keeps it quiet she's suddenly untrustworthy?

These parents are being weirdos and normal person logic needs to overrule them!

I've never understood this. You are their grandmother. You managed to keep your own kids alive. Kids aren't possessions of their parents. In loco parents, you are the parent and have a right to your own relationship with the child.

Very unreasonable of your child or child in law. Far too controlling.

@GrandmaNelly
I would stop all babysitting for your grandson for now.
You are doing them a huge favour looking after him (presumably unpaid).
They know you are desperate to spend time with your grandson so they think they have leverage over you.
My suggestion is to stop the babysitting services and start spending more time with your granddaughter.
Once they realise you are not bothered they will be 'crawling back' for help.

You could ask the same thing of the child’s parents @RJnomore1 - they’re happy for their child to have treats the other 5 days of the week

Interesting that op didn't come back to this and it followed so swiftly after the other thread about grandparents providing childcare.

Sorry but to return to an earlier comment - what “benefit” does a grandparent get from giving a grandchild unhealthy food?

Ive never understood this, and when I am a grandparent if I ever am I’d want to give my grand children as much support for good health and teeth in later life as I could manage. Why does crappy food equal grand parent treats? The time and fun together are the benefit to both surely?

And yes my children were allowed a fair share of treats when they were little (now young adults) but I did actively stop my own parents spending time alone with them and paid for child care because they couldn’t be trusted to put their best interests first over their desire to feed them crap and as they got older indulge them in other ways too.

How is being asked not to give the child you supposedly love things that aren’t good for them in any way an issue? 😳

@Proudofitbabe For me it doesn’t really matter what the issue is. I don’t have ridiculous rules like the OP’s son does (and I do agree that it is ridiculous, but also that it is their choice to make), mine are more along the lines of following ERF, safe sleep, weaning guidelines, safety practices etc.

I just need to be able to trust whoever is looking after my child, and that goes from the small to the big.

If they are willing to lie over something small that means I cannot trust them because next time it might be something big that they don’t see as a big deal (eg. My parents think ERF is ridiculous but obviously follow it.) but I do.

If they were willing to lie over something small they are showing an inability to be trusted when the situation is more extreme.